The name Hu Xinyu once appeared frequently on the hot search list and in people's conversations.
On February 2, 2023, the investigation of the "Hu Xinyu incident", which caused continuous and widespread social concern, was released, and Hu Xinyu was identified by the police as having died by hanging.
Whether it is the sentence "Hey, I really want to dance, I don't want to, I shouldn't want to" in the voice recorder, or the "I tried to disappear, it turns out that I really don't care" written in the social software, all of which make everyone feel the contradictions and struggles that this teenager has experienced in his heart.
Source: "Little Joy"
Sadly, his voice and needs have been ignored time and time again. In the end, in extreme despair, he walked towards the point of no return to end his life.
Hu Xinyu's tragedy pushed the psychological crisis of teenagers to the public. In recent years, there have been many similar cases of teen suicide. For example, the Shanghai teenager who pushed the car door and jumped into the river on the highway; Liu Xuezhou, a college student who committed suicide by the sea in Sanya......
It should have been a hot-blooded, energetic and hopeful age
What kind of pain makes them take their lives
As a solution to the problem?
Parents, schools, and teenagers themselves
How to identify psychological problems
Avoiding a repeat of the tragedy?
Source: "Little Shede"
This issue of "New Knowledge Island" column is invited
Tokai Experimental Primary School
Director of Moral Education and Head Teacher Zhang Kunfeng
and Shenzhen Mingde Experimental School (Group)
Lu Yi, a psychology teacher at Bihai Campus
Let's explore the "real needs" of children's emotions
First from left: Zhang Kunfeng; First from the right: Ru Iridium
The incidence of depression is younger
How can teenagers become depressed?
On June 29, 2022, the Institute of Depression, together with People's Daily Health Client, Good Mood, and Lundbeck China, jointly released the "2022 National Blue Book on Depression" (hereinafter referred to as the "2022 Blue Book").
According to the data, there are currently 95 million people suffering from depression in the mainland, 50% of whom are school students, and 32% of the total number of depression patients under the age of 18 are depressed.
On October 10, 2023, the "2023 Blue Book of China's Mental Health" released by Good Mood and the Mental Health Branch of the China Narcotic Drug Association further pointed out that with the growth of grades, the detection rate of depression in the student group shows an upward trend, and the detection rate of depression in high school exceeds 40%.
It is said that "teenagers don't know what it's like to be sad", and this group of data undoubtedly sounded a wake-up call for parents and teachers who hold this concept: children's mental health problems need urgent attention.
Zhang Kunfeng introduced that there are five main reasons for the psychological crisis among teenagers:
First, the pressure of going on to higher education
Second, the expectations of parents
Third, family contradictions
Fourth, there is tension in campus relations
Fifth, the impact of social media
"At the stage when the physical and psychological development of adolescents is not yet fully mature, these inner conflicts are superimposed on them layer by layer, and they are prone to negative emotional manifestations such as rebellion, helplessness, and despair."
The 2022 Blue Book shows that for adolescent people with depression, the family environment is the primary factor that causes them to fall into depression. Zhang Kunfeng said that in addition to setting high expectations for children and doubling their pressure, the lack of care and companionship all year round and the reluctance to give positive emotional feedback are also the triggers of children's depression.
Lu Yi believes that students with excellent academic performance are more likely to be depressed than ordinary students.
"There are some children with good grades who will have 'perfectionism', and they can't accept failures and setbacks." She explained that when this type of child is labeled as "excellent" by the outside world, it is easy to force his behavior to be consistent with the content of the label, such as maintaining good grades, listening to teachers and parents, etc.; Once you encounter a slippage in your grades or are criticized by your teachers, you will be depressed because you can't accept internal conflicts.
"There are also some children who only know how to get satisfaction from learning, and almost no socialization; When he can't study as well as he wants and his social interactions can't help, he will have emotional problems. ”
Lu Yi also mentioned that most families now have two or more children, and because of the increase in family members, parents may focus on newborns or preferred children. "For example, in some families, the eldest child will be neglected or the second child will over-spoil a child, and if the 'degree' is not grasped well, it is also easy to have problems."
Don't ignore your child's "distress" signals
According to the relevant person in charge of the local police, Hu Xinyu had insomnia, cognitive dysfunction, abnormal eating, etc. before his death:
- I once wrote a lot of things in books like "I finally know the pain of insomniacs".
- After many exams, I told my classmates, "I want to listen, but I can't concentrate, I love to be in a daze, and my thoughts have drifted away."
- I once cried with my mother that I "don't want to study and want to go home".
……
In the more than three months since Hu Xinyu disappeared, the family has had various speculations, but they didn't expect that the child's mood went wrong.
It is a pity that these "distress" signals have not been well taken seriously, which eventually leads to tragedy. So, what signals do we need to be wary of when children are sending?
Lu Yi said that there are several aspects to judge whether the child's state needs help-
Emotional aspects. Maintain a prolonged period of low mood, including excessive self-blame and guilt; Suddenly he doesn't like to talk, he doesn't like to laugh, and he cries inexplicably; What's more, there is a personality contrast. "He was originally a very docile child, but suddenly he became a leopard-like animal."
Source: "Little Shede"
Behavioral aspects. There are varying degrees of decline in academic performance and efficiency, as well as cognitive function decline such as difficulty concentrating and memory difficulties; Strange behaviors, such as suddenly cutting your hair short, suddenly giving something you cherish.
Interpersonal aspects. Begin to avoid social interactions, reluctance to communicate with others, and reluctance to participate in group activities.
Somatic signals. The child has an unknown physical reaction, such as headache, stomach pain, etc.; Sudden changes in eating habits, such as poor appetite, anorexia or overeating; A series of sleep disorders, such as difficulty falling asleep, waking up early and having difficulty falling asleep after waking up, lead to symptoms such as yawning, oversleeping, and irritability.
Source: "Little Joy"
Verbal signals. Negative words are frequently uttered, and some children will say "I don't feel bored in life" or "I would be better off without me", and may be accompanied by low feelings.
"When a child continues to send these signals for more than a month, you need to be vigilant."
Depression is not "vexatious"
How should we deal with it?
Many parents usually lack awareness and awareness when their children have emotional problems, and may directly ignore these seemingly "vexatious" manifestations and regard them as the rebellious period of adolescence. Not only that, but some parents will also blame their children for venting their emotions, being irrational, and being ignorant.
And these children may not be able to tell what is wrong with them, they struggle, vent, and perhaps "call for help" in different ways; But the response they received was that their parents and peers did not understand and blame, so they were frustrated, and then turned the spearhead of attack on themselves.
Source: "Female Psychologist"
"Why are you depressed", in the TV series "Little Huanxi", Yingzi's mother forced her own expectations on the child because she didn't know enough about the child's depression, and even denied the existence of depression, which caused the tragedy of Yingzi jumping into the sea.
In fact, the real danger is not the mental health problem itself, but the avoidance of the problem and the denial of the existence of adolescent depression.
Source: "Little Joy"
What should parents do in the face of their children's depression?
"We don't just look at the results, we have to see what the reasons behind this emotion are." Lu Yi said that many parents like to throw their problems on their children, and regard anxiety and depression as their children's problems, which can easily give children the illusion of "isolation".
"Parents and children face problems together, instead of solving children's problems, children have the support of their parents, they have a safe base in their hearts, and they can repair their depression."
It is more important to take the initiative to face up to the fact that your child is depressed, and to listen to and understand your child's heart. / Source: "Deep Sea"
Many parents feel anxious, fearful, helpless, and don't know what to do when facing their children's depression and anxiety.
In Zhang Kunfeng's view, emotional problems are a normal reaction in the process of children's growth, and more serious symptoms can be alleviated by timely treatment. "We want to give the child a sense of hope, so that he realizes that this is just a temporary state that everyone will face."
Lu Yi believes that it is particularly important to establish an equal and friendly parent-child relationship with children in daily life. "Some parents don't know how to communicate with their children, and when their children make mistakes, they will use threatening language to make their children feel insecure, such as 'I don't want you anymore', 'don't call me mom', 'I won't take you next time', etc."
Source: "Round Table Pie"
She suggested that parents need to give themselves and their children appropriate room for mistakes, say something different, and change the way of communication, which can effectively prevent children from falling into depression.
Zhang Kunfeng suggested that parents should not "label" their children at will, and should always consider problems from the perspective of children. "Give children respect and understanding, learn to let go, give correctly, trust children to be able to take responsibility for their own lives, and give children enough time and space to digest developing emotional problems."
Protecting the mental health of adolescents requires the cooperation of families, schools and society. So how do you do it in Futian, Shenzhen?
Fukuda: Escort children's mental health
In fact, as the central urban area of Shenzhen, Futian District has put a lot of thought into the mental health of teenagers.
In March 1997, Futian District established the "Chunhui Parent School" (hereinafter referred to as "Chunhui") to create a road of school-family-society collaborative education.
Lu Yi introduced that "Chunhui" will regularly invite outstanding education experts and class teachers from various schools to various schools to share the theme of "Psychological Development Characteristics of Primary and Secondary School Students and Family Education (Adolescent Family Education)" and "Internet Age and Family Education" for free.
At present, "Chunhui" has covered 100% of public primary and secondary schools and some kindergartens in the district, and the attendance rate of parents in the beginning grade is more than 95%.
In 2005, in order to extend the classroom to the extracurricular, the Futian District Youth Psychological Development Center (hereinafter referred to as the "Center") came into being. Lu Yi mentioned that the center is staffed by outstanding psychology teachers in the district on a rotational basis, providing individual psychological counseling and psychological support for parents and students in Futian District who are confused or in difficulty in family education. "When your child is depressed and doesn't know what to do, or if there is a problem with the parent-child relationship, you can call the hotline to make an appointment."
In addition, Futian District has also attracted a large number of outstanding talents who graduated from Beijing Normal University, Northeast Normal University, South China Normal University and other universities majoring in psychology, and Zhang Kunfeng is one of them.
"On the one hand, Futian District hopes to use professional strength to serve various schools; On the other hand, it will also provide us with corresponding growth opportunities, including teaching and training, student psychological crisis management, etc., to help the school's mental health work. ”
Data map.
Zhang Kunfeng mentioned that for many years, Futian District has used professional tools to assess the psychological state of children of all ages, and carried out targeted psychological interventions in a timely manner based on this.
At present, every school in Futian District is equipped with a psychological counseling room, professional psychological teachers, social workers and special education. "We will hold 'online + offline' parent salons on a regular basis, some of which are of a class or even a whole school, and some are specially customized for a certain family."
Data map.
"We will also enrich the school's curriculum, combine school, family, and society, and hope to create a comprehensive support system for school, family, and society to escort our children's mental health."
More discussion of "Adolescent Depression".
Please tune in to the new issue of "Shinchishima"
Ladies and gentlemen, please take a seat!
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Futian District Adolescent Psychological Development Center
Psychological Hotline: 83582700
Psychological hotline: Monday to Friday 16:00-20:30
Saturday 9:00-11:30
(Closed during winter and summer vacations and public holidays)
Psychological consultation: Monday to Saturday
(Hotline reservation required, closed during winter and summer vacations and statutory holidays)
At present, Futian District Youth Psychological Development Center has hotline consultation room, group counseling room, psychological relaxation room, psychological catharsis room, individual counseling room and other functional rooms.
The future of the world belongs to the younger generation
They have shining stars in their eyes, and they have hills and valleys in their hearts
If only we could
Pay attention to and respect your child's inner world
"Seeing" the "real needs" of their emotions in time
Believe that children can be better
Rejuvenate your own life
What are your thoughts on #TeenMental Health#
Come and share it in the comment area~
-END-
Edit | Zhang Biyin
Proofreading | Cai Shiyan, Liao Jingwen, Guo Xuejia, Wei Shijin
Proofreading | Dong Fangjun, Zeng Chuyuan
Executive Producer | Weekly
Source of information | Futian Media