In the early years, there was a movie "Falling Leaves Return to the Roots".
Lao Zhao, who works in other places, has gone through great pains in order to let Lao Liu, a worker who has passed away, be able to go to his hometown for burial smoothly.
Halfway through, Lao Zhao was tired and hungry, so he got into a white happy event and cried in front of the old man who passed away. Everyone thinks that Lao Zhao is a relative and friend of the old man, so they arrange for him to eat and drink.
After that, everyone agreed that Lao Zhao cried the saddest.
On the other hand, why are the relatives, friends, and acquaintances of the old man not so sad as a stranger?
Back in real life, we will see a lot of funerals, which are lively and lively, and there are people singing and dancing; There are also many people who drink and fight.
There were also some people who cried, but the overall atmosphere was not affected, and it was still like laughter.
Why aren't the adults at the funeral sad at all? Observing and thinking with questions in mind, we will find the following situations.
01
The first situation: the old man who passed away has a general relationship with himself and has no true feelings.
As a rural person, you will find that the largest proportion of people who come to the funeral are people from the village, friends and colleagues of the children of the deceased.
In addition, there are relatives and friends of the deceased, old colleagues and classmates, etc.
In the city, there are some neighborhood neighbors, and the others are relatives, friends, and old acquaintances who have hurried from other places.
In some remote villages, a funeral is held, in addition to people from their own village, there are also people from neighboring villages.
There are a lot of people who come, but the relationship between people is very general, although the people in the village know each other, but they usually don't have much intersection, that is, the relationship between borrowing a hoe and buying fertilizer together.
As for relatives, in addition to brothers and sisters, they are some old watches and the like.
Friends are also people who used to have a lot of contact, and then they had very little contact. Especially when you are seventy or eighty years old, you basically don't get together with friends.
The classmates are even more estranged, they all crossed paths when they were teenagers, and later went their separate ways. It's good to be able to get together once in a while, otherwise you wouldn't be able to recognize it.
A large group of people with ordinary relationships get together, and everyone takes the opportunity to chat, find their own small circles, chat and drink, and have no thoughts to recall the emotional interaction between themselves and the deceased.
Without affection as support, then in a place, one less person is irrelevant, and sadness is unnecessary.
02
The second case: many people just come to the funeral to help, or to eat, and have fun.
In our village, whenever an elderly person dies, all the families in the village have to send people to help, the women cook, and the men are responsible for arranging the coffin, digging pits, etc.
Among them, there are some people who are unwilling, but they have to come because of the rules of the village.
When the farm is busy, the villagers have a meal at the funeral, and then they have to go to work in the fields. Only on the day of the burial did they really come to help.
As for the people from the village, most of them came and went, saluted, and simply greeted the relatives of the deceased, and then hurried back to the city to continue to work.
Now, there are concrete roads between the village and the city, and it is easy to come and go. Most of the people in the city came by car, paused for less than an hour, and then left in the dust.
Netizen "Wild Gourd Baby" went to several funerals and said with deep understanding: "It doesn't matter if it's a red thing or a white thing." Except for loved ones. Other relatives and friends only care about when the food is served. ”
Indeed, there are quite a few people who come to eat at the funeral. The old people in the village were able to take the opportunity to eat for a few days, and they also saved a sum of money. As a person who arranges the funeral, it's not strange, how can you be too careful?
After seeing clearly the goals and reasons for each person's funeral, and then looking at their smiling expressions, you can understand.
At every meal, there are dozens of people. Together, they talk about the taste of the food and about something in the village. chatting and chatting, all the sadness on his face was swept away.
Some of the men gathered together, had eaten and drunk to their heart's content, played cards, asked someone to make them tea, and had a great time.
03
The third situation: the children and grandchildren of the old man have participated in many funerals, and they have to look down on birth, old age, sickness and death, and they are busy dealing with the aftermath.
According to common sense, the children and grandchildren of the old man should be crying incessantly.
Actually, not necessarily.
The first time a person sees an elder pass away, it can be painful and have a heart-rending feeling.
But the second and third time I saw the death of my elders, I became calm, and slowly accepted the natural laws of birth, old age, sickness and death.
The more mature a person is, the more he will control his emotions and hold back his tears. The face is always calm.
Besides, if an old man dies in the family, children and grandchildren can't cry all the time. It is also necessary to actively arrange how to bury, how relatives and friends come, and how to eat. It is also necessary to ask someone to determine the location of the cemetery and agree on the day of burial.
Stop crying and arrange the aftermath, that's the most important thing at the moment. If you cry uncontrollably, it will be a big problem.
During the Warring States period, Zhuangzi's wife passed away, and instead of crying bitterly, he sang with a drum. It's not that he has mental problems, but that he lives to death and lives well, which is the respect for his wife and the satisfaction of his wife's wishes.
There is another situation, that is, in the days when I lost my loved ones, my heart was numb, and I also threw myself into the funeral; After the funeral, the children and grandchildren will remember the bits and pieces of their relatives and be truly sad.
There are also some children and grandchildren who forcibly hold back their grief and give a little smile to the people who come to help, and express their gratitude to their relatives and friends.
04
Roman · Rowland said, "There is always a lot of little drama in the hearts of children." When their parents don't get too close to them, they feel sad. However, these sorrows are like a musical rain, and the sun is laughing in the rain. ”
Yes, when we were children, we were very concerned about the changes in our relatives, and we couldn't help crying.
As I grew older, my sadness gradually subsided, and I was at ease with the changes in my family.
Finally, one day, we learned to be strong, strong with a hint of indifference.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.