I believe most people have heard the word "six relatives do not recognize", and the first reaction is a derogatory term, which is generally used to describe a person who is ruthless and unjust, without considering the feelings of his closest relatives at all. Of course, there are some special times, "six relatives do not recognize" is used to praise a person for being upright and not bending the law for personal gain.
The "six relatives" in "six relatives do not recognize", which six people do they refer to? What's behind this? Let's take a look at the old traditions.
People refer to people who are related to themselves collectively as "relatives", and according to the distance of the relationship, they can be further divided into close relatives and distant relatives. In ancient times, there has always been a saying of "three relatives and six relatives", of which the "three relatives" are clan relatives, maternal relatives and wives.
Clan relatives refer to relatives with the same surname as themselves, generally relatives on the father's side, and the spouses of these relatives, such as our parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters, etc.
Maternal relatives refer to relatives on the mother's side, who are generally different from us, such as grandparents, uncles, aunts, and so on.
Wife-related refers to the relatives on the wife's side, and specifically refers to the wife's immediate family, such as the father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law, etc., who are not related by blood and are relatives brought by marriage.
In ancient times, people generally took male relatives as the core to distinguish the relationship between relatives, so there was a distinction between clan relatives, foreign relatives and wives. Nowadays, individual choice has become more liberal, and some families will have the same surname as their mother when naming their children, so it is impossible to completely copy the ancient saying when distinguishing between the "three parents".
Judging from the historical materials that can be found so far, the following three statements are relatively common.
The first is father, mother, brother, brother, wife, son
This statement comes from the Book of Han, and it is also the closest way to modern understanding. The author of the Book of Han was the historian Ban Gu of the Eastern Han Dynasty, and this history book is known as the "First Four History" together with the "Historical Records", "Book of the Later Han" and "Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms".
According to the Book of Han, the "six relatives" in the "six relatives do not recognize" should be the closest relatives in our blood or marriage relationship, specifically referring to the father, mother, elder brother, younger brother, wife, and son. The "six relatives" in the "three relatives and six relatives" also refer to the "six relatives".
In ancient times, under the influence of the idea of "male superiority and female inferiority", the three important relatives of sister, sister and daughter were ignored among the six relatives, and the "six relatives" as understood by modern people made up for this deficiency. Judging from the widespread recognition of the current society, the "six relatives" mostly refer to the six relatives of father, mother, brother, sister, wife (husband), and children.
The second way of saying this: father, son, brother, brother, husband, wife
Lao Tzu is the founder of the Taoist school, and his hand-me-down work "Lao Tzu", also known as "Tao Te Ching", is still a classic representative of Chinese culture books. According to Lao Tzu, the "six relatives" refer to the six relatives of father, son, brother, brother, husband, and wife, which are father, son, brother, brother, husband, and wife.
In "Lao Tzu", it is said that "the six relatives are not in harmony, and there is filial piety", which means that when the relationship between the six relatives is not in harmony, people will advocate filial piety and love, which is actually a criticism of Lao Tzu's atmosphere at that time. In Lao Tzu's view, filial piety and love are the qualities that everyone should have, rather than emphasizing their importance when problems arise.
The third way of saying: father and son, brother, sister, nephew, concubine, marriage
This statement comes from the chronicle "Zuo Chuan", which is a bit difficult to understand at first glance. According to the "Zuo Biography", the "six relatives" are father and son, brother, sister, nephew, concubine, and in-law. The first 3 kinship relationships are easy to understand, so who are the nephews, concubines, and marriages?
Nephew is the relationship between nephew and uncle; Marriage is the wife's immediate family, such as the father-in-law, mother-in-law, etc.; In-law is the husband's immediate family, such as father-in-law, mother-in-law, etc.
There is an old Chinese saying that "the mother's uncle is great", from the perspective of blood relationship, the uncle is the mother's closest relative, and in ancient times it was usually the male housekeeper, so the uncle generally has a higher status in the mother's mother's family. This also explains from one side why "Zuo Chuan" includes the relationship between nephews and uncles in the "six relatives".
All in all, the ancients often said that "the six relatives do not recognize", and the "six relatives" have different references in different periods, mostly referring to the close relatives who are most closely related to us, which is also the most cherished interpersonal relationship of people. This word is borrowed from the importance of these relationships to remind people not to do things that violate their conscience and do not respect their families, but to learn to cherish them.