Reducing internal friction and relieving anxiety, these 10 little things are really useful

Good news: the holiday is only 2 days away;

Bad news: it's Sunday, but it's a weekday.

However, I don't know when it seems that taking a vacation will not completely relax us. In this age of anxiety:

Looking at people in the circle of friends who have started to travel, they will be anxious;

Combing your hair in the morning and seeing the hair falling all over the ground will make you anxious;

Looking at the bunch of things that are not done at hand, I will be anxious;

When I think about going home to see my parents, I feel anxious;

Anxiety manifests and feels complex: anger, disappointment, hopelessness, powerlessness, frustration, and even confusion...... They all tell our bodies:

I'm anxious

I'm dying of anxiety

Constant anxiety can bring a strong sense of internal friction: feeling like you're no longer working, your brain can't function at all, you can't eat or sleep—every bodily sensation seems to be dragging you down the abyss.

Today we want to talk to you about how to deal with "anxiety", the article is a bit long, it may take you a long time to digest, it is recommended to collect it before reading.

Don't panic, it's normal to feel anxious

When faced with potential danger or uneasiness, our nerves automatically go into a state of alertness: an instant rush of adrenaline causes the heart to beat faster, the palms of our hands to sweat, and our reactions to react faster, ready for "fight or flight" when a threat arrives. That's anxiety.

From an evolutionary perspective, the physical response to anxiety is to help us focus and improve our physical skills.

Unfortunately, many people ignore the warning behind anxiety, and only deeply feel the discomfort caused by anxiety, and see it as a harmful emotion that needs to be completely avoided or eliminated.

This resistance causes the brain to perceive anxiety as a threat, triggering more anxiety and discomfort.

Image source: Picture Worm Creative

When anxiety returns, try saying to yourself:

It's okay, I can be anxious, although it's a little uncomfortable, it's normal.

Tell yourself: it's not that bad

Our brains are like a fountain, producing all kinds of thoughts all the time.

When we feel anxious, the brain's attention is biased. The ideas it focuses on are more likely to be constantly telling the story of "how real the danger is" or "how bad the situation is".

In the vortex of anxiety, we will often take these deviated thoughts as all the facts without thinking.

Image source: Picture Worm Creative

The next time you think about "it's over," "it's terrible," or "it's hopeless," think again:

What specific thoughts/images are playing in my brain? What is the more realistic situation? How different is it from the worst case scenario in my head? How can I be more thorough and objective?

There are levels of anxiety, so judge your anxiety level

Anxiety is an emotion, a subjective feeling.

There is no right or wrong in anxiety, everyone feels it differently, what we need more is to feel our own state, judge how anxious we are, and then take measures.

If we ignore the discomfort caused by anxiety, it will eventually explode and break us down.

No need to worry about anxiety

If the discomfort caused by anxiety is distracting and affects thinking or action, consider taking a 3~5 minute break and doing something relaxing.

Anxiety that deserves attention

If anxiety doesn't interfere with thinking or acting, but you feel mild discomfort (e.g., rapid heartbeat, tightness in your throat), focus on what's most important in the moment and it will heal on its own.

Anxiety that requires active regulation

If the discomfort caused by anxiety makes you feel like you're "about to exceed your tolerance", to prevent it from getting worse, stop what you're doing and do some exercises that help you relax and unwind.

Anxiety must be taken into account

If the discomfort caused by anxiety is unbearable and the whole person is "overwhelmed", please stop what you are doing, try to interrupt the emotions (such as blowing a cold breeze, washing your face with cold water, eating lemons, etc.), and then adjust your relaxation in other ways that work for you.

Think back, how much time have you been in these states in the last week?

If more than half of the time is the third or fourth experience, then your anxiety level may be high, and it may be worth seeking professional help to adjust.

Breathe, breathe deeply, exhale ~ inhale ~

That's right! No matter what level of anxiety you're in, the Breathing Dafa can help alleviate it.

The physiological response to anxiety is actually the result of muscle tension, and calm breathing is the easiest way to relax.

Focus on your breath and count for each inhale.

Image source: Zhan Kuhailuo

You can follow these steps to feel your breathing:

Gently close your eyes, focus on the physical sensations brought by breathing, and carefully experience: for example, when you inhale, the air flow slides through the nose, flows into the nasal passages and throat, fills the lungs, gradually expands the ribcage, and feels the abdomen slightly bulge; When you exhale, your abdomen slowly retreats, your chest contractes, and hot and moist air gushes out of your nasal passages......

You may find yourself wandering from time to time, and that's normal, you just need to gently bring your attention back to the physical sensations of breathing.

If you continue to focus on the physical sensations brought about by the breathing, you will find that the time spent focusing on the physical sensations gradually increases, and the inner restlessness gradually decreases.

Write down "things that can be done".

When we are anxious, we have a lot of questions: What should we do? What's the problem? How can I eradicate it? The more questions you have, the more anxious you are, because these thoughts are part of the anxiety.

In addition to doubts, many people have not thought about it: At this moment, can I do something?

In fact, as long as we start to think seriously and exactly about what to do, anxiety can be calmed down to a great extent.

The easiest way to do this is to try writing down "what I can do right now."

Even if you are faced with something that you can't solve for the time being, and you don't know what to do, it doesn't matter. Writing down this anxiety-inducing event can also ease anxiety.

That's right, what anxiety fears most is - concrete.

Try to make everything, every detail, concrete.

Find those things that you can "control".

Most people are anxious about uncertainty and things they can't control. The opposite of anxiety is calm, a sense of control, certainty, and security.

A basic fact that we have to face: in this world, we can only control part of ourselves.

We can't control what others think or how we are treated;

Nor can they control the weather or the crop harvest;

You can't control how things go or how wages go up.

We can only control what decisions we make and what actions we don't want to take.

We can't control whether it will rain tomorrow, but we can put an umbrella in our bag;

We can't control the boss to lose his temper, but we can use a calm and persistent attitude to reduce the damage we suffer.

Try taking out a piece of paper, dividing it into three areas, and writing "what I can control," "what I can influence," and "what I can't control."

This process is actually helping oneself to find a sense of security that can be controlled in the anxiety of uncertainty.

Concentrate and pick one thing to do

Unconsciously, we focus on uncomfortable feelings. This uncomfortable feeling is like a magnifying glass, which becomes more and more intense, and it is easy for us to fall into a state of "I don't want to do anything".

Then choose one thing to do, just one, no matter how small it is.

When it starts, you'll find that even if you're feeling very uncomfortable, you can still decide where you want to focus – even if it's staring at the clouds floating in the sky, memorizing ten words, and building a building block toy......

Image source: Picture Worm Creative

Some might say that the discomfort can draw attention back to anxiety.

This is normal, so let's focus on the one thing you want to do again.

When we keep gently returning our attention to things, we can make our focus longer and longer, and the brain's misjudgment of "danger" will gradually subside, and finally calm down again.

The next time the thought of "I can't do anything" pops into your head, try asking yourself:

What's the most important thing for me at this moment? And then focus on it again and again. When you start focusing, your anxiety will naturally disappear.

Give yourself a little challenge to make it happen

Sometimes, intense anxiety comes from judgments like "I can't do it," "It's too hard," or "I won't."

These judgments may be based on facts, and people will always be challenged beyond their current capabilities – and it is normal to say "no, can't do".

But don't deny yourself just yet, try to take that small step on the basis of not being able to do it at all.

Here are some ways you may help:

Split tasks: We can split tasks according to the length of time, task steps, or steps until it's small enough for you to say to yourself, "No problem, I can do this";

Do one thing at a time: put aside the more to-dos that pop up in your head for a while, and write them down if they're important but don't need to be done right now;

Start by holding on for 10 minutes: Tell yourself, "I just need to do 10 minutes", and if you can do it longer, continue naturally; If you can't hold on after 10 minutes, tell yourself that "at least some progress" and try again after a five-minute break.

Reschedule: If you realize that you need extra time to prepare, count it into your task time to give yourself plenty of time.

Abandon perfectionism: Keep reminding yourself to give up the idea that you have to learn it all or that you have to master it thoroughly.

Ask for help from the right people: Find someone who is willing to help you and can give you the right advice, and if you can't find such a person, find someone who can help you find TA.

Either way, cheer for yourself.

Remember: anxiety will pass

Persistent anxiety is often due to our repeated checks to see if the anxiety has passed, which in turn traps us in a vicious circle of anxiety.

Anxiety is actually a feeling that will eventually pass, even if you don't do anything, and actively choosing not to solve it is also a solution.

I'm feeling a little sick right now, but this feeling is not dangerous, I don't need to run away, I don't need to deal with it, I can gently allow it to exist while focusing more on what matters most at the moment, and my feelings will gradually get better.

Remember, any emotion passes, and anxiety is no exception.

Give yourself a good night's sleep

Rebooting solves 90% of problems, as does sleeping.

When you are anxious, hormones in your body spike to high levels for a short period of time, motivating your brain to respond faster, your muscles to strengthen, and your cardiovascular transport to your heart faster...... These activities consume the energy stored by the body.

The more anxious you are, the more you need to pay attention to the quality of sleep. If we don't sleep well, our bodies are tired, our abilities decrease, and it will be more difficult for us to actively regulate our emotions.

Studies have found that not getting a good night's sleep can increase anxiety by up to 30%, and deep sleep is a natural remedy for anxiety and can reduce anxiety levels.

Maybe when you lie in bed, anxiety can still make it difficult to sleep, so you might as well suggest to yourself:

Now I need to rest, and I can wake up tomorrow and think about these things; It's especially important that I can write down the things I am afraid of forgetting / write down on my phone, and I will think about them seriously when I wake up tomorrow.

And, if necessary, you can seek help from a psychologist or ask a doctor to prescribe some medicine.

Hopefully, everyone will have a good night's sleep tonight

After restarting, you will be a new version of yourself

(Don't worry, we still have dry goods)

If you've mastered these tips to combat anxiety

I also want to find something to make myself happy

So here are 10 ways to make yourself happy

It's really for you (hurry up)

10 ways to make yourself happy

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[1] Eti Ben Simon, Aubrey Rossi, Allison G. Harvey, Matthew P. Walker. Overanxious and underslept. Nature Human Behaviour, 2019; DOI: 10.1038/s41562-019-0754-8

[2] Edmund ·Bonn, Lorna· Galano, translated by Zhang Yibei, Coping with Anxiety: Nine Simple Ways to Eliminate Anxiety, Fear and Anxiety, September 2017, Beijing Machinery Industry Press

[3] Luz · Harris, translated by Zhang Dingqi, The Trap of Happiness, January 2018, Machinery Industry Press