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Menopause is a stage of life that every woman goes through, however, a lot of changes happen to women after menopause, especially in married life, and many women lose their former enthusiasm.
Why do women not want to live a "married life" after menopause?
In this article, we'll dive in, from hormonal changes to psychological factors, to uncover the science behind it and provide effective advice on coping with postmenopausal concerns.
Ms. Liu's confusion and turn
Ms. Liu, 49 years old, is an accountant at a state-owned enterprise. She and her husband have been married for more than 20 years, the relationship between the two has always been very good, the children are adults, and life seems to be entering a stable stage.
Recently, however, Ms. Liu has gradually felt subtle changes in her body.
Recently, she has noticed that she is not as focused at work as she used to be. Always feeling tired for no reason, and the brain can't seem to handle complex numbers as quickly as it used to.
Once, when summarizing the annual financial statements, Ms. Liu checked them many times, but she always felt that something was wrong. She frowned, took off her glasses, and rubbed her temples.
Suddenly, she felt a rush of heat welling up in her heart, and beads of sweat involuntarily slipped down her forehead. Seeing this, the colleague next to him asked with concern: "Sister Liu, have you been too tired lately?" I see that your face is not very good. ”
"It's okay, maybe it's been too hot lately." Ms. Liu responded with a smile, but she secretly felt that there was something wrong with her physical state, but she didn't think much about it, she just felt that she was getting older and her body was not as relaxed as before.
Back at home, Ms. Liu also felt the change in her life. She and her husband have maintained a good relationship foundation for many years, and they often go out for walks and travel together.
However, in recent months, Ms. Liu has gradually lost interest in her married life. Whenever her husband asks for intimacy, she always subconsciously finds an excuse to avoid it, and even feels a little bored.
One night, my husband asked softly, "Have you been feeling unwell lately?" I get the feeling that you're always not interested in things between us. ”
Ms. Liu smiled awkwardly and said, "Maybe I've been busy with work lately, I'm too tired, and it should be better when I rest for a few days." ”
As much as she tries to comfort her husband, deep down, she understands that it's not just a matter of fatigue. She was vaguely aware that these changes seemed to be related to the discomfort she was experiencing after entering menopause.
Every time she was intimate with her husband, she felt a dryness in her lower body, and the process was no longer as easy and pleasant as before, but was accompanied by discomfort and pain. This made a huge shift in her attitude towards life as a couple.
As time passed, Ms. Liu began to frequently refuse her husband's requests, and the relationship between the husband and wife gradually became estranged.
At first, the husband was able to understand and be considerate, but as this situation continued, his emotions began to become dissatisfied, and the communication between the two became less and less.
Ms. Liu's eyes gradually revealed helplessness and disappointment as she looked at her husband, and she began to wonder why her body had become so unfamiliar.
In order to seek some comfort and advice, Ms. Liu decided to talk to her old friend, Aunt Zhang. Aunt Zhang is the same age as her, and she also experienced menopause a year ago, and they often drink tea together, chat, and share the bits and pieces of life.
"I've been feeling that something isn't right with my body lately, especially that I've completely lost interest in married life." Ms. Liu sighed and confided in Aunt Zhang about her recent troubles.
After listening to this, Aunt Zhang nodded and said, "I was like this back then, and when I reached menopause, my whole feeling changed. After the estrogen level drops, many functions of the body will be affected, especially in the area of married life, which is very dry and really uninteresting. Do you want to go to the hospital and hear what the doctor has to say? ”
"Is it really necessary to go? I thought it was just a normal phenomenon of old age, and it was over after a while. Ms. Liu hesitated.
"Go and see, there's nothing wrong with it, it's always good for you to find out about your physical condition." Aunt Zhang suggested.
With Aunt Zhang's encouragement, Ms. Liu decided to go to the hospital for a check-up. After learning more about her symptoms, the gynecologist arranged a series of tests for her, and the results showed that Ms. Liu's estrogen levels had dropped significantly, which is typical of postmenopausal symptoms.
Doctors explain that a drop in estrogen levels can lead to changes in various aspects of the body, including mood swings, dryness, and slowing metabolism, which are common problems in menopausal women.
After listening to this, Ms. Liu felt a little relieved. It turns out that these changes I have experienced are not abnormal, but physiological phenomena that many women face.
She realised that she needed to learn more about the changes in her body and take some appropriate steps to ease the discomfort, while also communicating better with her husband and seeking his understanding and support.
After returning home, Ms. Liu told her husband about the doctor's diagnosis and communicated with him frankly.
After hearing this, the husband finally understood his wife's recent confusion and pain, and gradually let go of the dissatisfaction and misunderstanding in his heart.
They decided to face the challenges of this stage together, the husband began to be more considerate and tolerant of his wife's feelings, and Ms. Liu also tried to improve the problems in the relationship moderately by adjusting her own living habits.
Although the physiological changes brought about by menopause are unavoidable, through communication with her husband and the advice of doctors, Ms. Liu has gradually learned how to adapt to this new state of life.
She understands that married life is no longer as passionate as when she was younger, but in understanding, tolerance and love, the relationship between husband and wife can still remain warm and stable.
However, Ms. Liu still has a puzzle in her heart: why do most people not want to live a married life after menopause? Are changes in a couple's life inevitable?
There are three reasons that cannot be ignored
After menopause, there are obvious changes in the physiology and psychology of women, and many women gradually lose interest in their married life during this time, or even completely reluctant to have intimate contact.
This phenomenon is not a special case of individual women, but is closely related to changes in hormone levels in the body, psychological factors, and physical conditions.
The following is a detailed look at the top three reasons why postmenopausal women are reluctant to live as a couple, helping both men and women better understand and cope with this physiological stage change.
1. Significant decrease in estrogen levels
After menopause, estrogen production in a woman's body decreases significantly, which has a wide-ranging impact on many aspects of the body's functions.
Estrogen is an important sex hormone, which not only participates in the regulation of reproductive function, but also plays an important role in bones, skin, cardiovascular system, etc.
Estrogen plays a particularly critical role in couples' lives, maintaining the health of the female reproductive system and promoting vaginal lubrication and elasticity.
After menopause, due to a significant decrease in estrogen levels, a woman's vaginal mucosa gradually thins and secretes less lubricating fluid, resulting in vaginal dryness.
This feeling of dryness manifests itself as discomfort and even pain in the couple's life, which directly affects the woman's sexual experience.
In addition, after menopause, the levels of estrogen and androgens in a woman's body decrease, and libido naturally decreases, which makes women no longer actively seek or respond to the need for intimate contact.
2. Psychological stress and socio-cultural influences
Menopause is not only a turning point in a woman's physiology, but also often accompanied by dramatic psychological changes.
In traditional mainland culture, sex is often a sensitive topic, especially for middle-aged and elderly women, and sexual topics are considered to be ashamed to talk about.
As many women enter menopause, they begin to think that they are no longer suitable to talk or participate in married life, and that it is the exclusive domain of young people. This perception puts a lot of psychological pressure on women, making them feel repulsed by their married life.
Some women even see menopause as the end of femininity and youth, believing that they have lost their attractiveness and ability with the advent of menopause.
This self-denial makes them feel ashamed and embarrassed, and they gradually choose to withdraw from their married life. They may think that instead of continuing to be involved as a couple, they should choose to keep their distance to avoid facing physical and psychological discomfort.
In addition, mood swings during menopause can also affect a woman's psychological state. Due to the decrease in estrogen levels, many women experience mood swings, irritability, anxiety, etc., which further exacerbates their resistance to life as a couple.
3. Changes in body shape and body shape
Estrogen not only regulates reproductive function, but is also closely related to the body's metabolism. After menopause, as estrogen decreases, a woman's metabolic rate decreases, fat accumulation accelerates, and weight gain easily.
This change in posture not only affects women's appearance, but also their perception of their own image.
At the same time, postmenopausal skin changes also take a toll on women's self-confidence.
The solution: understanding and communication
Although physical changes are inevitable after menopause, this does not mean that the couple's life must be terminated because of this. Understanding these physical and psychological changes is key for couples to face this phase together.
Male partners should understand the changes women go through during menopause, avoid putting unnecessary pressure on them, and instead face them in a more inclusive and considerate manner.
At the same time, women should actively seek help and, if necessary, discuss with a doctor or professional how to cope with menopausal discomfort.
Today, many women use hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or other means to relieve the uncomfortable symptoms of menopause and improve the quality of life as a couple. Of course, any treatment regimen should be carried out under the guidance of a doctor and avoid blind medication.
In addition to medical help, communication between couples is also crucial. Through an open conversation, both parties can better understand each other's needs and confusions, which can lead to re-establishing intimacy emotionally and physically.
Married life is no longer just a physical need, it is more of an emotional and psychological connection. Through understanding, care, and tolerance, couples can work together through the challenges of menopause and maintain a healthy, harmonious relationship.
summary
Postmenopausal women no longer want to live as a couple, often as a result of multiple factors, and understanding these physical and psychological changes will not only help women better adapt to this stage of life, but also help partners better understand and support each other.
Actively facing the changes of menopause is not only responsible for health, but also for the improvement of quality of life.
Resources
In addition to not being able to have children, there is no effect on the body after menopause? Experts refute rumors" Xinhuanet
"Menopause knowledge that every woman should know! The family should also know" Shanghai Medical University Hospital