01
My name is Li Ying and I am 38 years old.
My family is from a rural area in Henan, and there are many children in the family, so life was difficult in the early years. I barely finished high school and went out to work.
After several rounds, I finally took refuge with my second brother, who worked in Beijing, and my second sister-in-law helped me introduce me to a temporary job.
After coming to the unit, I met my husband Chen Qiang. His hometown is in a small county in the northeast, he is the only son in the family, and graduated from university.
Although they are all temporary workers, Chen Qiang has an education, high emotional intelligence, a better type of work than me, and earns more than me.
The first time I saw Chen Qiang, I fell in love with him. After discovering that he also had a crush on me, I began to take the initiative to break the veil.
Chen Qiang was ambiguous at first, but then he didn't meet a more suitable one, so he established a relationship with me.
When his mother found out about my family background, she was adamantly opposed to us dating.
She said I was short, even though she wasn't tall. In fact, I know that Chen Qiang's mother didn't fancy my family background and education.
I also know that being with Chen Qiang is a high climb, so I almost obey him.
02
After I got married, I did almost all the housework. Even when I was pregnant, I didn't want my mother-in-law to look down on me, and I never bothered her with what I could do.
But I found that no matter how hard I worked, my mother-in-law always had something to choose from me.
Take last year's Spring Festival as an example, my husband and I prepared holiday things for the elderly on both sides and bought supplements for my father and father-in-law.
My mom didn't want clothes, so I chose a pair of flats that she loved to wear, and I got 100 in time for the winter clearance.
When it was my mother-in-law's turn, I didn't bother to think about it. She is picky, she wants good things and spends less money.
Thinking about the cold weather in the northeast, my mother-in-law's down jacket was still bought by me the year before last. So I carefully selected a piece of color and style that matched her mind according to her preference, and spent 1500.
After settling the account, my husband couldn't help but tease me that he was better than his own mother-in-law.
I secretly slandered in my heart that my mother-in-law was so difficult to serve, and I spent money, but I might not be able to make her happy.
As a result, I took the clothes to my mother-in-law to try on during the Spring Festival, and she was smiling at first.
My husband saw that his mother-in-law was happy, and knew that she usually liked to stab me, so he wanted to help me say good things.
He deliberately said that I was biased, and that it was still old to buy a pair of shoes for my mother-in-law, and to buy a down jacket for my mother-in-law to see that it was all new, and it cost more than 1,000.
After hearing this, the mother-in-law instantly smiled and asked disdainfully, "Did you see that she spent a hundred?" People may have already given it behind their backs. ”
At that moment, my tears flowed uncontrollably. My husband hurriedly diverted the topic, and I turned my back and silently shed tears.
In the eyes of my mother-in-law, my mother's family is poor and a bottomless pit.
03
I can have my current home in Beijing, and my second sister-in-law has contributed a lot.
When we first got married, we moved around a lot with my second sister-in-law. My husband and I are in the same unit, and if we want to send something, we will send double copies, one for my brother and sister-in-law. My brother and sister-in-law always think about us if they want something good.
But since my mother-in-law came to help me take care of the children, my relationship with my second sister-in-law has faded.
My mother-in-law is very generous to my husband and son, but she is extremely critical of me and my family.
Usually, during the holidays, I buy something for my brother and sister-in-law, and she either asks the east or the west, for fear that I will take more for my mother's family.
Even the unit issued a welfare card during the holidays, and she left it in the supermarket that could be used, such as a movie card, which changed hands early in the morning, for fear that I would give it to my nephew.
That's not all, it's also a matter of sending something. The fruit that can't be put away is left for the child to eat, and the rest, she transferred it to the old sister she knows at a low price, in case it cheapens my brother and sister-in-law.
We don't let us take it ourselves, so we spend money to buy it, and my mother-in-law is even more unhappy. Slowly, I was embarrassed to go to my sister-in-law's house.
My sister-in-law knew what my mother-in-law did, and she laughed at me a lot in front of my brother.
Later, my husband jumped to a foreign company, and his salary rose. My mother-in-law looked down on me and my family even more.
In her eyes, the economic foundation determines the status of the family, and I have average ability and can only obey.
Last summer, my mother celebrated her 70th birthday, and my husband and I were going back, but he had something to do temporarily, so he discussed with me if he could not go back.
As a result, before I could say anything, my mother-in-law became anxious. She said that she had a pension, she didn't have a big birthday, and my mother didn't have the money to show off.
She also counted me down one by one, and if she didn't make money, she would forget it, and she would drag her husband back, and in the end I could only take the children back in disgrace.
At the birthday banquet, my second sister-in-law mocked me in front of her relatives, saying that my husband had money, but he had no relatives in his eyes, and now he didn't even recognize his parents.
Since then, she hasn't been associated with me again. I have a word of suffering.
04
In May this year, my mother-in-law told my husband that the demolition money for the house in my hometown would come down immediately, and asked us to hurry up and see the house.
My husband and I have calculated that now that the economy is down, with this money, plus the savings in our hands, we can pay more down payment, so that the pressure to repay the loan is small.
My mother-in-law agreed with her when she found out, she said that she made a big effort, and my mother's family didn't have the money to make a small effort. He also said that when my nephew bought a house, our family took more than 100,000 yuan. Now I'm buying a house, and I'm not making up 100,000 yuan.
It's okay not to talk about this, but when I talk about it, my stomach is full of bitterness.
My parents were farmers and didn't have much money, and when they got older, they lived on their eldest brother.
When the eldest nephew bought the house, his parents said that the eldest brother had been taking care of them and hoped that the second brother and I could get some money to help make up the down payment.
The second brother and the second sister-in-law didn't say a word, and transferred 100,000.
Although I am a daughter, my parents also provided me to high school, so I have to add some more.
As a result, when my mother-in-law heard about it, she immediately raised her eyebrows coldly, saying that the girl I married out spilled the water. Which family is not a son who adopts parents, when will it be my turn.
She also scolded me for wanting to fill the poverty hole of my mother's family, I didn't have a house to live in, and I wanted to buy a house for the next generation.
My mother-in-law's words gave me a headache. Fortunately, the husband was quite reasonable, he told his mother-in-law that his son-in-law was also half a son, and he didn't want to be called unfilial, and finally his mother-in-law reluctantly agreed to take 20,000 yuan.
Now that we are buying a house, let's not talk about whether our parents can take it or not, my mother-in-law came up and opened her mouth.
I rejected my mother-in-law, and she immediately turned her face with me, saying that she had given 50,000 yuan as a bride price, and how difficult it would be for a large family to make up another 50,000 yuan.
I said that my parents are old, and they are usually taken care of by my eldest brother, and I don't contribute money, even if I contribute, I will go back to gnaw at the old age.
My mother-in-law listened to my words and snorted coldly, saying that my parents sold their daughter to make up for their son, and said that if I don't return the bride price, she won't get a penny.
Seeing my mother-in-law so unreasonable, I was completely enraged.
05
I suddenly realized that no matter how hard I tried in this life, I would never be able to break my mother-in-law's prejudice against me.
I thought about it, we can live in as big a house as we can, and the demolition fee is my mother-in-law's, and she can spend it as much as she wants.
If my mother-in-law pays the money, with her character, I am afraid that I will be even more sad in the future.
In previous years, on the National Day, we had time to go back to our in-laws' house for the holiday, and if we didn't have time, we would buy something and send it back. Usually when I send something, I think of my mother's house.
Even if I buy something, in order not to let my mother-in-law pick on it, I try my best to satisfy my mother-in-law's family, and my mother's family can get by.
But over the years, I have blindly belittled myself and neglected my mother's family, not only did I not get the approval of my mother-in-law. On the contrary, because of my low profile, she felt that I was weak and uncomfortable, and she also thought that I was not worthy of my mother's family from the bottom of my heart.
On this year's National Day, I don't want to pretend anymore, so I treat everyone equally from the gifts.
As for my mother-in-law, I don't bother to care about her mood, and I don't care about her attitude, so it's a big deal not to meet in the future.