A student with depression asked me, "Teacher, did I follow what you said, don't you care about depression, and my depression will be cured?" ”
Obviously, this question has already revealed the "fox tail" - trying to achieve the so-called "cure" by ignoring it.
I thought about it for a moment and replied "no".
The depressed student was not right when she heard it, she said, "Didn't you say that last time? Obviously, the real cure is to leave it alone. Isn't it just a cure for me if I don't care? ”
I smiled a little and replied, "You remember my words well." But there are some misunderstandings in your understanding. I'm saying this to break your obsession. As a result, you didn't break this idea, but added another one. ”
The student frowned and said, "Then I don't understand." What the hell does it matter? Isn't it curable no matter what? ”
"Well, I'll reframe that sentence." I say.
The student looked at me hesitantly.
I said, "It's not that it's okay to leave it alone, but to say, 'Even if it's not good, then I don't care.'" - This is the real healing. ”
I think this should be able to block her heart that wants to heal to a certain extent.
The student said, "You mean, it doesn't matter if the cure doesn't get better. ”
"Hmm," I nodded, "your understanding is correct, that's what it means." It's not like you don't care about it and heal. But even if it's not good, it doesn't matter, this is the real healing. ”
The student sighed and said, "Then I understand, I don't care what it means." It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it doesn't matter. ”
"Hmm", I said, "That's it for psychological problems." You were depressed before, but after you took care of it, did you get better? ”
"No", the trainee replied: "More and more depressed." ”
"So, then leave it alone. When you don't care, it's fine. There is a saying in Zen Buddhism that says, 'Let go of the precipice, take it upon yourself'. This cliff is like our symptoms, and we must dare to let go in the face of symptoms. It is the one who refuses to let go, but makes us miserable.
And Mr. Wu Zhihong also talked about his own experience of depression. He suffered from depression while he was in college. Most people with depression want to climb up the well. And he simply let go, fell directly to the bottom of the well, and stayed at the bottom of the well for a few years. When he came out, he found that he was different, spoke differently, and treated life differently. This is the experience shared by Mr. Wu Zhihong. It can be said that it coincides with what I said earlier, 'let go of the cliff and bear it'. ”
The student asked, "Then since I don't care about it, what am I going to do?" ”
I smiled and said, "What are you doing!" Do whatever you have to do. Is there only depression in your life? If you don't dwell on depression, will you have nothing to do? Life is so exciting, why not go to life to experience and play, but to get entangled with that illusory and unreal thing? It's like a person who is always scolding with the shadow, do you think it's funny? ”
The student said, "Then I understand, it's to live." What to do in life. Then there is another question, teacher, is it necessary for me to practice the methods in the book "Depression Check-in Self-Help"? ”
I said, "Is there a conflict here?" These exercises are designed so that you can live a better life. Because our habits are relatively strong, it is not enough to understand a truth. There is a saying that 'get on the horse and give it a ride'. It's that you also need some tools to help you get back into life. If it doesn't conflict, practice well.
But at the core, you have to understand that whether it's practice or life, don't get entangled with symptoms, in other words, allow everything to happen. Do this, and your depression is almost cured......"
At the end of the article, I recommend a good self-healing book "Depression Check-in Self-Help" to a depressed friend, I believe that the methods in the book will be of good help to you.