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We perceive that there are always people in this world who are soft and kind in their hearts, and they are treated with this courtesy, so we have to have a little more hope for life.
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Text | penknife
I dealt with some troublesome things during the day, and when I was walking alone in the park at night, I wanted to find someone for a drink, so I posted a message in the group to "shake people". At this time, it was ten o'clock in the evening, and it was a very difficult invitation.
Fifteen minutes later, one of the eldest sisters in the group appeared at the agreed small wine stall before me and waited. When she saw me, she laughed and explained to her companion: "She has never drunk alcohol, and suddenly she said that if she wants to drink, I must come." ”
This eldest sister has always been known for her ancient ways. I knew she was here to drink, but she was actually worried that something was wrong with me. I was immediately struck by this kind of tenderness that played haha.
Another time, a group of people went to a friend's house to watch a movie, and they didn't stop from the moment they entered: they invited him to dinner, broke into his bedroom to tease his cat, and turned out his coffee and snacks all over the table...... I didn't say goodbye until midnight. Before going out, my friend was going to the toilet, and everyone stood at the door of the living room very tacitly, waiting for him to come out.
For me, the moment I waited before I went out was a very moving moment. It's common for friends to harass each other, but I don't remember which time, and before leaving, the host was temporarily away, and someone proposed: "Wait a minute, otherwise everyone will be gone when he returns, and it will be empty." ”
In the minds of many people, this should be regarded as a very strange insight. It amplifies a certain feeling that if you don't say it, you won't be wronged, but if you say it, you'll be hypocritical. People may not care about this kind of detail at all. But that day, through someone's mouth, this small feeling was taken seriously, and there was a kind of quiet tenderness.
There are actually many such tender moments in life, but most of them are in a very embarrassing situation. Because they are so small that it makes people feel that regurgitation is too big, and it is even more fleshy to say it.
I used to love watching Japanese anime, and I found that Japanese people love to render this gentleness, and even a special genre of "優しい (gentle)" has appeared. In many works, a certain character is set up, and the emotions are extremely delicate, always silently thinking about others, and magnifying people's secret feelings. The audience was satisfied and moved by this, which can be regarded as an earlier "industrial saccharin".
It is said that this is due to the characteristics of ancient Japan society. In Japan, which is dominated by mountains and hills, the plots suitable for survival are small and scattered, thus forming small living circles, and gentleness has become a social characteristic closely related to survival. If a person does not think about others everywhere and makes people feel a sufficient sense of security, he may be punished by the "village eight points": all the villagers will unite and impose "severance" sanctions on him, so that he will be cut off from neighborly relations and production resources, and thus lose his basic living conditions.
If "gentleness" can be used as a currency for survival or other conditions, I think many people will be quite willing to pay for it. Because it doesn't have a high threshold compared to a lot of costs. For example, the classic case on the Internet, a girl has a cold, and a boy greets him every morning and evening, and he is very distressed between his words. In the past, it was easy to impress each other with this kind of gentleness. It's just that later some women felt that the cost was too low, so they "upgraded" to the boy to fly overnight and deliver cold medicine to the girl's door.
But whether it's words or deeds, gentleness is easy to practice. There are many "emotional mentors" who teach people to fall in love, and the main focus is this trick - teaching people to apply behavioral formulas to meet the emotional needs of the other party. Even though it's a routine, it can often hit a big seven eight eight. People are sometimes emotional creatures who are hungry for food, even if the other party's gentleness is just a deliberately trained muscle habit, they will want to grasp the warmth of this moment.
Learned gentleness is just like a pre-made dish, not completely uneaten.
But it is precisely because of this that the gentleness that exists as a condition is more precious than the gentleness that exists as a condition. After all, who doesn't love something with good intentions and natural ingredients?
In 1996, writer Shi Tiesheng and a group of friends were in Sweden, and everyone ate Western food every day, and they were tired of it. It just so happened that Shi Tiesheng's old friend came to see him and brought him a bowl of braised pork. Shi Tiesheng was reluctant to eat, and waited for all the people in his company to arrive, so he took it out and divided a small piece of each person to satisfy his hunger. Famous writers may have eaten thousands of braised pork, but Shi Tiesheng's piece is really insignificant. But after nearly 30 years, Yu Hua still remembers it in his heart, precisely because it is too small and fills in the gaps that are difficult for people to know, so he irons it extraordinarily.
If we raise it a little higher, we perceive that there are always people in this world who are soft in their hearts, and they receive this courtesy, and they have to have a little more enthusiasm for life. As for the numbness after saying it, it can be ignored.
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Edited by Gan Qiongfang
Typesetting|Gan Qiongfang
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