The systematic, actionable way to change cowardice is:
Understand the reasons for cowardice.
Understand how the brain works and see the effects of cowardice on our mood and behavior.
Seven ways to change cowardice:
Amendments to intentions
Self-worth enhancement method
Take back the initiative of emotions
Use positive words and do self-talk
Break down self-limiting beliefs
Frame changing: Look at things from a new perspective
The Future Me: Self-Motivation
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > first we have to understand, why is a person cowardly? </h1>
Cowardice will arise after a person has encountered many pressures and setbacks in a certain environment.
For example: a child, lively and active by nature. But family discipline is very strict, and parents often criticize and scold. Gradually, the child's personality becomes rigorous, introverted, and non-committal. Because only in this way can we reduce the number of times I am taught by my parents.
A new recruit grinned. However, due to being unaccustomed to such a style by the leader, being suppressed by the workplace, and being excluded by colleagues, gradually the employee became afraid to speak easily and try to avoid letting others notice him.
He went from a cheerful new employee to a shrunken, cowardly old employee. For this veteran employee, even if he becomes a transparent person in the workplace, it is better than being a "target" for everyone.
Therefore, we must understand that cowardly people are not born not good enough. Instead, it is more pitiful, and it has encountered a bad living environment. Cowardice is a survival strategy they develop in this bad environment.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > second, cowardice, will make the brain feel the cause of stress analysis</h1>
Happy people, than unhappy people, live better. The point is that the parts of their brain functioning and activating are different. Positive emotions involve brain activity in the left part of the prefrontal cortex, and negative emotions tend to activate the right part of the prefrontal cortex.
Positive emotions increase resilience, lead us to positive thoughts, improve memory and thinking skills, and various social relationships. At the same time, positive thinking can also improve mood, memory, social relationships, and cognitive function.
But cowardly people, who only avoid temporary pain, pay the price of low self-evaluation, feeling hopeless in life, and generating self-limiting beliefs.
The reason for this phenomenon is that we collect all information by the sensory nervous system to receive and transmit information into the brain. Our central system then processes, stores, and drives the body to respond. The motor nervous system drives muscles, internal organs, and glands, putting the whole person into or out of a state of readiness for war or combat.
Cowardly people, from receiving information and then taking avoidant, self-repressive behaviors, the functioning of the entire brain nervous system has formed an inherent pattern.
You can find, even if it's like the two individuals in the case above. When children grow up, or after old employees jump ship, their cowardice is almost as ingrained as intractable as it is difficult to eliminate.
When we understand that this pattern is the result of the operation of the brain, we can "prescribe the right medicine" by changing this mode of perception, so as to achieve the manifestation of correcting cowardice.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > three, seven actionable ways to change cowardice</h1>
This is a method of creating through internal vision to achieve the purpose of correcting one's own behavior.
First, use the scoring method to choose the uncomfortable scenes you encounter in real life due to cowardice.
For example, in the workplace, it is clear that your work performance is robbed by your colleagues. But you, who are cowardly, do not dare to say a word, do not dare to defend your rights and interests.
At this point, you can rate this discomfort level on a scale of 1-10.
How to do it:
Create an image in your mind to represent that discomfort.
Create images that reduce discomfort.
The color of the scene screen becomes softer, calmer and more comfortable.
If necessary, double extraction can be created. Put yourself in a third perspective and see the scene.
Imagine the scene as a balloon shrinking and disappearing.
end.
If you have had experience with meditation, you can use this method more easily. But if not, you can also choose to find a psychologist who is good at hypnosis to deal with it for you.
Cowardly people are always easy to be bullied and dare not resist. Because his core belief is: I am worthless, I am the one who is easily bullied.
Self-worth improvement can change this irrational belief. Moreover, self-worth is the highest and most important essence of a person. It determines all our beliefs, values and rules. Therefore, for cowardly people, it is very necessary to improve their self-worth.
A. The ability to know oneself
You don't need to compare yourself to others. Because everyone has a unique, superior place.
An effective comparison is a comparison with oneself.
What makes you proud? What abilities have you previously overlooked?
There used to be a stay-at-home wife who was busy all day, doing housework and taking care of the children. But the husband has a very good opinion, thinking that other people's wives can not only do housework, manage children, but also go to work as usual and make money for the family.
The full-time wife was disliked by her husband, but the family's living expenses depended on her husband's salary, so she could only silently endure her husband's accusations and ridicule.
Later, she found that the small cookies that she brought to school for her children were very popular, and the children asked her to make more and distribute them to her friends. This mother embarked on the road to baking.
The original ability that we ignored, as long as we can explore and strengthen, can realize our own value.
The stay-at-home wife regained her confidence and no longer had to endure her husband's sneers. Interestingly, when you have self-worth, there can also be a big shift in other people's attitudes toward you.
The husband of the full-time wife, after seeing his wife's baking business started, never came home to say something that his wife was inferior to others.
B. Enhance your abilities
Take three months as a node. Evaluate what advantages you have grown in each node?
Think about what is the ability you most want to have but are not yet satisfied with?
Strengthen your practical abilities to enhance your self-worth.
Take back the initiative of emotions.
The first thing I have to do is make myself happy, and then I make others happy.
Wang Li was again informed to work overtime today, but he refused. Because today is mom's birthday, he's going home to celebrate mom's birthday.
But if Wang Li did not refuse, he would work overtime according to the requirements of his superiors. Not only is overtime inefficient, Wang Li and his mother will be in a very bad mood.
It's a lose-lose approach.
Therefore, it is better to explain the situation to the leader and tell the leader: I can come to the company half an hour in advance the next day and handle things well.
Many people have concerns about this: if I refuse to lead. The leader will be unhappy and will think of ways to straighten me out.
You know, what leaders want is the results of their work. As long as you are not subjective and malicious to refuse a certain arrangement of the leader, explain the real situation to the leader and arrange the delivery of the work content. Most leaders will understand and accept.
In this way, everyone's emotions will not be affected. A small number of leaders will target subordinates, belonging to the relatively low character, this kind of post, early to go early.
The language habits of the cowardly will be:
I can't help it
I don't want to be bullied anymore
There is no hope for that
I can't solve this problem
So now, we want to translate these language habits into positive expressions:
I'm looking for a solution
I'm taking some steps to make myself stronger
This hope is exactly what I want, and it is on my way to achieving it
I'll come up with a solution to this problem
If you feel miserable going to work because no one pays attention to you. You might have said to yourself, "They're ignoring me," but now that you understand this method, you can shift your conversation to" to say, "I'm willing to make some new friends."
The three frames of thought that we are prone to have are: It should be so/Trust mentality/No way.
As it should be: at this meeting of colleagues, they should have called me in.
Trust mentality: I would like to go to this party. See if they'll invite me.
There was no way: I couldn't attend the party without them inviting me.
From the Buddhist point of view: when something happens, it has its own reason for what happened. It's just the whole process and details, I may not be able to know.
What I'm going to do is: I know this has happened, so how do I create opportunities for myself to succeed and be happy?
People who think like this usually have the ability to turn a crisis into a new opportunity.
Most likely, the reason why your colleague didn't call you this time is because you're a new hire. But the name has not been updated to the form of the administrative secretary, so it is left out.
If you can break through the three restrictive frameworks and go to the administrative secretary to ask for information about attending the meeting, you may be able to get involved. I was also able to properly handle the things that I had left off the list.
Each of us has our own habitual perspective, which is often said: inertial thinking. In fact, our brains are very focused on fast operation. So it will give preference to angles that have been used before.
This can also lead us to get used to the same commute, to visiting familiar restaurants. However, when encountering difficult events, you may wish to try the "frame change method". Give our brain instructions to function from new neural pathways.
For example, Lao Wang is becoming more and more vulnerable in the workplace. Because he feels that he is older, the operation of many computer systems is not as skilled as that of young people. Gradually, he did not dare to express his opinions in front of his colleagues.
For Lao Wang, it is better to "change the frame" and change it to a more positive idea: think about the old age, what are the advantages over young people?
If you want to seek change, it means that you have higher demands on yourself. Not too satisfied with some of the current state.
But if you want to change, and there is a certain degree of difficulty, you will feel powerless. At this point, you can also try self-motivation.
In everyone's mind, there is a hero. This hero is likely to be a character in a novel or film or television drama, a star idol. You can imagine yourself in close contact and dialogue with this idol, and the other party will give you encouragement and advice.
This is also one of the hypnotic techniques. Because of the idol you love, there must be certain qualities that you appreciate and imagine very much, and this part of the traits will be internalized into a part of you.
Through this self-motivation method, you can let your consciousness talk to your own inner wisdom and "consciously" a part of the subconscious.
Of course, if you have the financial conditions, it will be better to ask a hypnotist to help you operate.
The seven methods provided above, you can choose to apply to your own to try. When you change your perception patterns and make your thoughts positive, you'll find that making changes is less difficult.
You will also become, the person with energy that you want to be.