It is said that parents are the mirrors of their children. What kind of family there is, what kind of children there are. The appearance of the child will expose the truth of the family.
When Dong Qing was a child, her father was particularly strict with her.
Every day before dawn, she was woken up by her father and had to go to the playground near her house and run at least 1,000 meters.
As a girl, if she wants to look in the mirror, she will be scolded by her father:
"Potatoes are potatoes when you dress up, and you don't have to look in the mirror every day than to read more books!"
Under such a family education model, Dong Qing, who is now a mother, once felt very confused.
She said that in the process of raising her children, she once did not know what to do in order to give her children the best education and let her children have a better future.
Until one day, a casual word from her friend woke her up in time:
"What kind of person you want your child to be, it's very simple, you want to be what kind of person."
Dong Qing suddenly realized, yes, parents are the first school of children's perception, and parents' words and deeds have a powerful subtle effect on children.
A kind and tolerant family, the children raised are naturally more sensible and more educated;
And in a violent and discordant family, it is naturally difficult for children not to be impetuous and frivolous.
The future of the child is hidden in the atmosphere of the family.
Harmonious family, children are more loving
Educator Montessori said that love is the soil for children's growth, and only when children are fully cared for can they have a sound personality, mind and morality.
In a loving family environment, the child's personality will be healthier, cheerful, optimistic, and more likely to become a kind and effective person.
When Helen Keller was 19 months old, she suffered a serious illness and unfortunately lost her hearing and vision, and became deaf and mute.
In such a situation, Helen Keller's temper became very grumpy.
Once, because she was jealous of her newborn sister, she actually shook her sister from the cradle, but fortunately it did not cause tragedy.
Despite this, Helen Keller's parents never gave up on the child.
When she made a mistake, her parents did not scold her, but gave her candy to eat and patiently educated her.
They still loved her deeply when she made rough hurtful acts and invited her to sullivan teacher who was equally patient.
With the love of her parents and the education of Sullivan, Helen Keller eventually changed her temper and mastered five languages: English, French, German, Latin, and Greek.
At the age of twenty-four, she graduated laude from Harvard University and eventually became a world-renowned female writer, speaker, and educator.
Helen Keller sighed:
"Perhaps most of the world's misfortunes have remedies, but most unfortunately there is no hope: human indifference."
Yes, if a child lives in an indifferent environment every day, it is difficult to become optimistic and positive;
And if a child is nourished by love every day, even if he is unfortunate, he can still have hope for life.
Love is the best education for children.
Israeli scholar Federman's research found that parents are able to produce a hormone called "love hormone" in the process of interacting with their children.
Under the action of this hormone, it can effectively reduce the child's anxiety, arouse the child's calm, satisfied mood and sense of security, increase trust, and reduce fear.
That is to say, the more parents interact with their children and the more harmonious and friendly the family relationship, the more secure the child will be, the less anxiety and happiness will be increased.
Whether it is a child with a sound mind or a child who is unfortunate to suffer from a disease, only family harmony and allowing children to grow up in a loving environment can children grow into better selves.
Parents are incompetent and children are affected
Conversely, if the parents are incompetent, the child will be affected.
The book Carl Witt's Education warns us:
"For children, if the family education is not good, it is the most serious education carried out by the best educators, and it will not have a good effect."
In the movie "Confessions", the daughter of the class teacher, Mr. Moriguchi, died, and the murderer turned out to be 2 students in his class.
One of the murderers, A Watanabe, has lacked maternal love since childhood.
He made a "anti-thief" wallet and won an award of merit, thinking that his mother would see it on the news.
As a result, my mother only paid attention to other news that day, but still did not pay attention to him.
In order to get his mother's attention, he did not hesitate to kill people, only hoping that her mother would return to his side.
Such a tragedy actually stems from the lack of love in family education.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong said:
"Neglect, the mom or the most critical caregiver at the beginning, has no energy, no interest or no ability to see you.
Neglect is a particularly easy thing to do.
Maybe parents don't mean it, but often they spend less time with their children because they're busy with work or something. ”
If parents always ignore their children and do not give their children enough love, their children will become more and more anxious, more and more afraid, and they will not know how to get along with this society more and more.
There is a saying: "There are no unqualified children, only incompetent parents." ”
Incompetent parents will really slowly destroy their children, and even destroy themselves.
In April last year, Wu Xieyu, a student of Peking University who was suspected of killing his mother, was arrested.
This student, who had walked all the way out of the poor villages and alleys of Xianyou County and attended schools that were famous in the province and the country, could have had a bright future, but he finally chose a path to darkness.
Such tragedies continue to play out.
Statistics from the China Juvenile Delinquency Research Association show that juvenile delinquency in China accounts for more than 70% of all crimes, and the trend of younger age is obvious, and the crime rate has risen sharply.
Behind this data, it is closely related to family education.
If parents can't give their children enough attention and love, I'm afraid that children will be farther and farther away from their parents.
The best education is to teach by example
One education expert concluded:
"Education that is too hard cannot teach smart and independent children; unruly brute force will only firmly lock the possibility of children's lives." Educating children well requires virtuous guidance and gentle companionship. ”
The best education for children is to teach by example and be a good example for children.
"Zengzi Slaughtering Pigs" records that once, Zengzi's wife went to the market to catch the market, and her children cried and had to follow.
Zengzi's wife lied to him: "You go home first, and then I will come back and kill the pigs for you to eat." ”
Unexpectedly, Zengzi's wife returned home and saw that Zengzi was really going to kill pigs.
Zengzi's wife was anxious and quickly dissuaded: "I am just joking with the child." ”
Zeng Zi replied, "This is no joke!"
Children have no ability to think and judge, and they must learn from their parents and listen to the correct teachings given by their parents.
Now you deceive him, this is to teach children to deceive people!
When a mother deceives her child, the child will no longer trust her mother, which is not the right way to educate her child. ”
So Zengzi killed the pig.
This story has been passed down to this day, and it is the best inspiration for parents.
Whether it is to cultivate children's character or cultivate children's interests, it is inseparable from parents' own words and deeds.
Parents lead by example and follow the good example, and the child will see the wisdom and wisdom of the people, and the character is both excellent.
On December 11 last year, the name "Liu Shiwen" made headlines on major news websites, and she was awarded the title of "Best Female Athlete of the Year" at the ITTF Star Awards Ceremony.
Liu Shiwen's success is inseparable from her mother, Wang Lifeng.
When she was a child, Liu Shiwen's impression of her mother was that her mother often stood in front of the table, played seriously, and sweated like rain.
Liu Shiwen was very curious, and often stood by and watched.
The mother noticed Liu Shiwen's interest and made a small racket for her.
Every day after work, the mother will accompany her daughter to play ball, which is both the companionship of the daughter and the training of the daughter.
In such an atmosphere, Liu Shiwen never felt bored playing ball, but enjoyed it.
In the end, Liu Shiwen did not disappoint her mother and developed her interest in table tennis into a skill that would affect her life.
There is a saying: "The love of a parent's son is far-reaching." ”
Parents who truly love their children will think about their children's long-term and will be responsible for their children's future.
Such parents will have love in their hearts and light in their eyes, and will follow the rules and guidance of their children, so that their children can live in a family atmosphere full of love and hope.
How can a child who grows up in such an environment not be healthy and happy?