In the 5,000-year history of the Chinese nation, marriage has always been solemn and unapologetic in people's hearts from ancient times to the present. In the era of the Republic of China, when the old and the new alternated, the Concept of Marriage of the Chinese People gradually changed from the "words of the matchmaker and the order of the parents" advocated in the arranged marriage for thousands of years to the "marriage without love is immoral" advocated in the new type of marriage.
As a result, in the early days of the Republic of China, there was also a "wave of retired marriages".
The wheel of history always moves forward for no reason, and those "old-fashioned women" wrapped in small feet have become "victims" in the confrontation between traditional marriage and new ideas, and Lu Xun's wife Zhu An is such a typical "victim".
The marriage contract of the door to the door
In 1878, Juan was born in Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province, to a merchant family, and her ancestors were officials, so her life was decent.
Juan's parents were also deeply influenced by the traditional society that "a woman's talentlessness is morality", and did not encourage her to read and learn, but only taught her three from four virtues, to wrap her feet for beauty, is a typical old social woman.
Zhu An's parents and Lu Xun's family are family friends, Lu Xun's grandfather once served as a Beijing official, although the Zhou family was in the middle of the road at that time, life was poor, but in the local area can still be regarded as a decent family, so the two parents made a marriage contract for him early.
At that time, Lu Xun was still studying in the Xinpai Academy, only 18 years old, and Juan was 3 years older than him, and the two were also quite matched in age.
Juan was more or less full of longing for this grand duke who went abroad to study and receive a new education, and his family also felt very decent, but he did not expect that it was such a "decent" that outsiders saw and finally caused the misfortune of marriage.
The "gift" of the mother, the beginning of misfortune
Lu Xun, who had received a new education, was quite disgusted with the marriage of his parents' orders, and he was bent on studying, and he also delayed the marriage date again and again. Later, Lu Xun's mother tricked Lu Xun, who was studying in Japan, back home with a telegram that "his mother returned quickly" and forced him to marry Juan. On the day of the wedding, the woman with the small feet knew that her husband hated the old-fashioned custom of female foot binding,
In order to please her husband, she wore a pair of embroidered shoes that were much larger than her own feet, and as a result, she showed her ugly state before she was petite, which not only did not please Lu Xun but increased her disgust.
At that time, Lu Xun was sending a letter home,
He mentioned many times that his fiancée should study and put his feet on foot, which was his minimum requirement for his wife.
The matchmaker and the twin-haired parents also agreed to be fine, but later he found that Juan was not illiterate, but also wrapped his feet.
None of the two basic requirements were met, and the previous letters were all written in vain, which disappointed him.
In order to fulfill his filial piety, he did not rebel against the wedding, but expressed his dissatisfaction with the cold Juan. Lu Xun once wrote that "
This is my mother's wife, not my wife, this is a gift from my mother, I can only provide for it well, love is something I don't know. "
In fact, in Lu Xun's heart, Juan was even older than his mother, no matter what, although Zhou's mother was also deeply influenced by traditional feudal ideas, at least she learned to read and write. And Juan only knows three from four virtues, and does not have any special hobbies, but has a habit of smoking shisha. When joan is mentioned in front of a friend,
Lu Xun satirized her "worthless" wife,
Reluctant to talk to friends about any of her topics.
He was a member of the Zhou family in his lifetime
Zhu An has always called Lu Xun "Mr. Big", and she knows that Mr. Big does not pay much attention to her, and she is not worthy of him, but she has always accompanied her mother at home to abide by women's morality and diligently manage the family, and is deeply liked by Mother Zhou.
Later, Lu Xun's students recalled this master mother, praising her for her very dedicated and frugal handling of housework, first-class needlework, and can also fry authentic hometown dishes, and when guests visit, they always make tea and burn dim sum, treat each other with courtesy, and abide by the way of being a daughter-in-law and a wife.
People can't help but guess that if Juan married not Mr. Big, but an ordinary family, he might have lived a happy life of filial piety and filial piety and full of children and grandchildren, but married to the great literary hero Lu Xun.
It was destined that even if she was virtuous in the eyes of others, she would not fade in her husband's heart after all
Old
Women's labels
。
Later, the voices of resistance to the old-style arranged marriages in society were very high, and divorce became a common practice, and those who advocated that "marriage without love is immoral" dissolved the old-style marriage contract at the cost of breaking with the family and abandoned the chaff wife. Lu Xun was well aware of the tragic situation of women being divorced in old-style marriages.
Having compassion for the "old-fashioned lady" position, he could not bear to hurt the hearts of the two parents and Juan
And Juan himself insisted that "Mr. Big wants to marry a wife and a concubine, all by himself; but I was born a member of the Zhou family, and died a ghost of the Zhou family." This woman with her little feet wrapped, deeply influenced by traditional feudal ideas, would rather live a life of coldness and neglect by her husband than divorce.
"No matter how good I treat him, it is useless"
Maybe Juan has always had hope for Mr. Big's change of heart, always feeling that as long as she serves him and his family wholeheartedly, she will one day move him, and she compares herself to a snail, firmly believing that although she climbs slowly, she can one day climb from the wall low to the top of the wall.
But later learned that Lu Xun married Xu Guangping, Zhu An was finally crushed by this last straw, she no longer had the strength to climb up, and finally understood that "no matter how good I treat him, it is useless."
It is worth mentioning that although Juan was difficult to accept at that time, xu Guangping later gave birth to a son Zhou Hainian for the Zhou family, and her mood also became clear, and the Zhou family finally had a queen. Juan was also very kind to their mother and son, and had always exchanged letters and cared for them. Perhaps in her heart, Lu Xun's son was also her own son, washing away the shame of not having children in her life, and also had high hopes for Zhou Haiying, a son.
Although Xu Guangping did not quite approve of Lu Xun's original wife in the old-style marriage, he also treated Zhu An with respect. After Lu Xun's death, she had been sending living expenses to Juan in her later years, even when she and her son were living on a tight budget. The kindness of Xu Guangping and Zhou Haiying may be a bright light in Juan's unfortunate life.
"Accompanied by the sacrifice of a lifetime, the old account of four thousand years was completed."
In his whole life, Lu Xun never said a kind word to Juan, and Zhu An waited for him all his life and read him all his life, but he still did not touch him, nor did he ever exchange a trace of his concern. Juan should still have a grudge in his heart,
When Mr. Big died, she was reluctant to attend her husband's funeral, believing herself to be just his "relic"
。 Yes, she waited for herself from a yellow flower girl to an old woman, but in the end she never had a really normal communication with Mr. Big, she was just an object he put at home.
But Juan finally chose to forgive and relieved herself, and in her later years, she lamented her tragic life, mentioning Lu Xun,
She still felt that Mr. Big did not treat her badly, but had their own lives.
And told Xu Guangping that he hoped that when she died, he could be buried next to Mr. Da's tomb, but in the end he did not succeed.
Her name was Juan, and she had never been safe in her life.
During the Republic of China period, the marriage of Zhu An and Mr. Lu Xun was a completely failed old-fashioned marriage, and the traditional feudal etiquette bound the two for a lifetime, but achieved a cold husband and a miserable wife.
Juan is innocent,
Married to a husband who is a door-to-door person, who has been diligent in running the family, filial piety to the in-laws, and abiding by the way of women, but has not enjoyed the treatment that a husband deserves to be treated by his wife for a day, she deserves sympathy, because she was born in this era of alternating old and new, and made a lifetime of sacrifices.
So is Mr. Lu Xun at fault? No, he wasn't wrong. Mr. Lu Xun, as a literary hero who was deeply baptized by the new style of etiquette, pinpointed the shortcomings of the times, and vigorously advocated breaking the feudal traditional thinking and pursuing his own marriage, there is nothing worth arguing. Their marriage is a tragedy created by the change of times.
Juan represents the "old-fashioned women" with their feet wrapped in small feet in that era, who came trembling from the feudal traditional society and used their failed marriages to end the old account of four thousand years.
?