Sister tea party
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Go home for the New Year
New Year's Eve back to the husband's home or mother's home,
How do you coordinate?
"Who to go back to this year's New Year" is a difficult problem that every couple has to face during the Spring Festival, and if the coordination is not good, the small quarrel will be quarrelsome, the heavy will be divorced, and the festive season will turn into a tragedy, which is really not worth the loss.
In fact, there is no standard answer to this question, and the applicable solution may not be the same for different couples. Today we would like to invite all the fairies to share: what do you think about the matter of "who to go back to for the New Year"? And how to coordinate with your husband? The result?
On this issue, the fairy who solved it very satisfactorily, what special experience skills do you have?
If you have accidentally caused contradictions because of this, what are the lessons of blood and tears to warn everyone?
Because of the epidemic, in addition to the traditional "homecoming for the New Year", what alternatives can everyone be happy about?
Public account dialog box reply #New Year #+ what you want to share with us, let's learn how to improve ourselves together~
*Title Source: Question 2 of this issue
Get started with new powder
Question 1
Keyword: deception
Female 31, height 162 (cm) and weight 48 (kg), annual income of 90,000, financial. Married (has had a second child), non-virgin, once talked about 5.6 boyfriends, for me are short choice, several are 12 years older than me, now think about the once very cloth, can be regarded as a bad girl. When I married my husband, I didn't explain my situation, pretended not to be in love, knew that it was a very high Pu, and now I think about it. My father went to petition when I was two years old because of career matters, and I have not returned, my mother remarried when I was a teenager, my stepfather had a son, and I had a half-sister.
Male 30, height 175 (cm) and weight 69 (kg), annual income 130,000, has an adopted sister. I have never been in a real relationship, I once visited my family home, met a girl on the train, bought gifts for people, talked online, and never met since.
Sister Doll, I accidentally followed you on Weibo in 2015, super thank God for giving me this opportunity to let me know you to become your fan, let me get better step by step, and can slowly learn from you to become better.
My question is about me cheating on my husband, making him mistakenly think that he is a simple girl, stepping on the minefield of male and female non-existence, the heart is very uneasy, you can also imagine and understand, after he knows, how angry and crazy he will be. All I have to do now is to delete everything about the past, and with this guilt it is very good and good to him, and also hold that if he leaves him, all these years with him are his own blessings, in fact, it does not belong to me.
Sister Doll, every time I think of it, I am very sad, very sad and afraid. Is there any way to make up for or be forgiven for the mistakes that girls make before marriage? Is it possible to match only one scissors? Disturb you, thank you sister for providing this platform, thank you doll sister, thank you little assistants, hard work.
answer
The woman "carries this guilt and is very good to him", everyone can intuitively feel, empathy, only when the other party has something to deceive you, will be more than usual good to you, let you feel better than all other your objects. So if a guy is nice to you, better than everyone who chases you, do you have to think about it, maybe he has something else out there?
That's what we're saying, there must be a trap under the knees.
"Is there any way to make amends or be forgiven?"
I would like to remind the person concerned not to feel that all lies can be forgiven.
If this guy has two illegitimate children out there, what do you think he can do to make up for it or be forgiven by you? You can also think about this for yourself.
You're now married and have two kids, and all I can think of is that if you have a few more kids, and if you're younger, then your PU can be pulled a little lower.
There is no other way to do it too well for the time being, this boy is still quite handsome, the choice is not low, you have not crushed him, you can only rely on low PU. Just continue to treat him well, accumulate more good feelings on weekdays, and if one day it breaks out, you may be able to leave yourself a little leeway.
Question 2
(Source of the title of this issue)
Keywords: living expenses
Female 27,165 48kg, annual income of 30w+ micro-business, long-term residence in Beijing/Canada, non-exclusive, has a younger brother
There is one child.
Male 25,170 82kg, annual income of 12w+ self-media, long-term residence in Beijing/Canada, alone.
Hello sister, I was learning your theory in high school, so I chose a mate to avoid a lot of pits, thank you very much. My husband and I are relatively weak in making money on our own, and my husband is a family reason that cannot make any big moves, so most of us rely on both sides of the family subsidy, and the husband's family makes up a little more. My family is in business and has assets of over 100 million. The husband's family is engaged in politics, and all of them are at or above the deputy department level. I think the family part is slightly higher than the husband. My husband and I know each other as a blind date, and during the contact, I felt that my husband was full of sincerity, so I flashed marriage within half a year and had a baby in one year. My husband treated me very well during pregnancy, and both parents gave me a good maternity treatment.
My husband traveled with me everywhere, and the confinement of the maternity examination was not lost every day, almost 24 hours together. Due to the special situation of my husband's family, my mother sent us a new house worth 3kw + 300w in a first-tier city. I felt a little unbalanced at the time, and my friends around me were all husbands preparing for a new house. However, I later found that the motorhomes were all in the names of my parents and had nothing to do with my husband. My husband sent me a million diamond rings through his own savings, my in-laws treated me very well, we went abroad to protect green cards, my mother-in-law helped me take my baby for more than half a year without complaint, I will buy clothes for my mother-in-law, and send red envelopes for the holidays. Contracted all the skin care products such as double protein naked algae that my mother-in-law had.
I listen to my sister's advice to cook, I cook almost 3-4 times a week, my husband orders, since I have been abroad for many years before, most of the dishes I can make are delicious. My current problem is that I think my husband's core is scissors, don't remember me, don't remember me, don't remember me well, and most of our quarrels come from money. Most of our money is placed on my card by my disposal (among which I earned two parents to give the last 1 year of husband no income), living expenses are also my expenses by me, whenever I say no money, my husband wonders where I spent the money, the tone feels that I spent blindly, I spent a sum of money with him, he read it and felt misunderstood me.
Now that I've downloaded the bookkeeping app, I'll write it down every time I spend it, and I'll show it to him whenever he has any questions. The last quarrel was when I recently wanted to buy a ring of about 10w, and my husband was angry and thought I loved to spend money blindly, he said that I didn't make much money for both of us, and I always wanted to spend a lot. At that time, I felt very wronged, and I felt that my quality of life after marriage had dropped a lot compared with before marriage (after marriage, I rarely asked for subsidies from my mother's family, I was afraid of becoming a rich woman) Please ask my sister How can I improve my current psychological state? Thank you Sister Baby
First of all, from the photos, girls are very beautiful, and they can hold the relationship with a high degree of choice, so don't worry too much about the problem of female wealth and male appearance.
Regarding the point you mentioned about being misunderstood by your husband, in my opinion, it is actually a good thing to be misunderstood, because the process of promoting many things, including power and discourse power, is accumulated through misunderstanding.
Like when I am misunderstood, my way of dealing with it is that I will say to the other party: Today's matter, I will explain it clearly, but if you encounter this kind of similar thing next time, can you not accuse me first, and then make a judgment after I am finished. The other person will begin to feel guilty and ashamed. Then the next time he encounters something similar, he will not be very angry as soon as he rushes up.
So, when you have a similar situation, you can also remind the other party that the last time you misunderstood me, then this time, I think there is the same misunderstanding, can we listen to me first and then get angry. When the other party misunderstands you with how strong emotions, how strong the guilt he will have afterwards, then you can use these guilt to meet your own requirements, which is a virtuous circle of relationships.
This is actually one of the usual routines of scissors, the more emotions a person can bear, the more he has the right to speak.
Old powder advanced
Question 3
Keyword: lifting
Female 32, 160cm 53kg, annual income 50W, actuary + side business micro-business, non-exclusive, has a younger brother. I have had 2 boyfriends before. At present, one child has been conceived, and the second child is pregnant.
Male 33, 180cm 80kg, annual income 100w-150w, investment bank, non-exclusive, has a younger brother. Where, there have been no girlfriends before, there are girls who like .
My husband and I are college classmates, together for 11 years and married for 4 years. My family is better, my husband's family is worse. After graduating from college, I went to the United States to study, he stayed in China to study, and I got married and had children immediately after I returned home. Buying a house is a down payment that my mother and my husband jointly paid, my mother paid more, and my husband's family had no way to provide support. However, the mother-in-law has been helping to watch the baby, especially dedicated.
My husband has a good personality, never complains, is very concerned about the family and children, what I want and do will support me, and the financial power is given before marriage. In terms of appearance, he also climbed the husband high.
When I had a baby, I was just in time for my husband's career upswing, very busy, coupled with the decline in my MV during pregnancy and lactation, the emotional concentration decreased. Later, I consulted with a consultant and decided to work hard to improve myself, did more medical beauty, picked up cooking skills again, and joined the micro-business to start doing side business.
After breastfeeding, the emotional concentration has improved, I am quite satisfied, and I am not so eager to ask for emotional value after I am busy.
Now my problem is that in the second child pregnancy, the entire pregnancy and lactation period will inevitably encounter a decline in mv and a decline in earning power, while the husband's career rises very fast, the income may be further improved, and the appearance is still very handsome.
In this case, should I focus on cultivating stone nature and doing a good job of cooking and child-rearing, or should I cultivate cloth nature and strive to improve my earning power? In addition, what are my attributes with my husband? Thank you Sister Baby.
The woman's annual income is 500,000, the man's is 1 million to 1.5 million, the woman's earning power is declining, the man will further improve, in this case, I think the woman can make a trade-off.
When the man's rise in the rise, you give half of the increase can offset your original salary, this time the girl can choose to be a full-time wife. But why are so many people afraid to be a full-time wife now? This is because they can't accept that they treat their husbands as husbands and husbands as bosses. They can't have both love and respect for their husbands, and obey the image of such stone scissors.
But you said that so many girls are full-time wives, and people are doing very well. And if the proportion of full-time wives in a place is large, there will be corresponding laws to protect women's interests. In this transitional stage, when the fa law is not very clear and perfectly protected, it must be divided into two parts.
One part is those who have a particularly low PU, and they can get a lot of benefits as full-time wives, and these benefits are not mentioned in the fa law; the other part is that people with particularly high PU will get nothing when there is no guarantee by law, relying only on the ability to get along with people's sophistication. This is a relatively common situation, and in areas where moral constraints are relatively high and the fa law has not yet kept up, there will be polarization. Some people have everything, some people don't have anything.
So under what circumstances can the woman strive to improve her earning ability and cultivate cloth sex?
I think if the girl's annual income is 5 million, your husband is 1.5 million, and it is in the ascending stage, then in this case you should try to improve the cloth sex.
But if you are the opposite of your husband's earning power, it will be better for you to withdraw from him in this piece of cloth sex. For example, crosstalk always has a tease and a hug, a family always has to have a helmsman and a helmsman, you can't reach the level of the helm now, if you are not willing to be a collaborator, then in the future on this boat, it is likely to lose your position.
Moreover, you are still pregnant, and the things you can do are also very limited, it is recommended to calm your mind, do some easy work to wait for childbirth, give birth to the child smoothly and smoothly, and then think about other things.
Question 4
Keywords: second child
Female 32, 169 52.5, annual income: 30w, state-owned enterprise finance, alone, junior high school began to fall in love, there are 8 ex-boyfriends, but they are more spiritual, only one (known at the graduate level, is the husband before the previous one) has had a relationship. And her husband is the first marriage.
Male, 32,180 84, single parent with mother, father has remarried and has another son in different cities. Annual income: 80w + their own family to open a medical device company, alone, the husband began to fall in love in elementary school, rich in emotional experience, in the beautiful country when he was an undergraduate and his girlfriend at the time for the first time, there are many girlfriends who have had relationships.
I used to be classmates with my husband, and after graduating from graduate school, he chased me. Love for a year to see the parents, see the parents a year later to get married, the bride price of 200,000, after marriage the two families jointly funded to buy a house in the city center. He has been married for 4 years and has a daughter who is almost 3 years old.
My husband runs his own company, there is no fixed salary, the company's finances are taken care of by me, and I know the personal bank password and can check it at any time. Knowing gao pan, my husband has said more than once that I am good at everything, that is, I have too much temper, I love me very much when I don't lose my temper, and he doesn't want to pay attention to this woman when he loses his temper.
After one child, I lived in my parents' house for more than a year because of my own decoration, and I was seriously depressed after childbirth, and I lost my temper with my mother-in-law and had a tense relationship with my husband. After moving to a small family, the feelings gradually warmed up, the attention returned to the husband, and also actively repaired the relationship with the mother-in-law, and now get along well, the mother-in-law and my parents take turns to take the baby.
Because I want to have a second child as soon as I am older, my husband began to refuse, and then bluntly said that if I want to give birth, I have to pick the main force, he will certainly not be as attentive as a fetus, and he will definitely love his daughter more (I think he just wants to dissuade me). This year's anger lost 25 pounds, xsh frequency and emotional concentration increased significantly, but I feel that my husband is full of fear for the second child, he once said that if I am still like the postpartum state of the first child after the second child, he will definitely divorce, he does not want to divorce, so he wants to delay it for a year or two.
At present, I am still actively losing weight and want to control my weight within 100 years. After having children, I feel that I have become particularly clothed, and the choice right is seriously slippery. Emotionally unstable, with children often can not control their anger, sometimes affect the husband. I want to ask my sister to give me a little advice in terms of MV and PU, how can I get my husband to take the initiative to have a second child?
