Upstairs lived a widow, a beautiful thief, three years older than me. One day my relatives in the countryside sent two native chickens over, and I thought I couldn't finish eating alone, so I went upstairs and knocked on the door. widow

Upstairs lived a widow, a beautiful thief, three years older than me. One day my relatives in the countryside sent two native chickens over, and I thought I couldn't finish eating alone, so I went upstairs and knocked on the door. Widow Zhang Li saw that it was me, smiled and said, come in and sit down, have a cup of tea? I shook my head and said, I won't go in and sit down today, I'm here to invite you to my house for dinner. She said in surprise, how can I remember to invite me to dinner? Is there something asking me? I sighed and said, You know I've been single for many years, and since my divorce, I've been alone and lonely, and I want to invite you to dinner today. Eating chicken, drinking chicken soup, drinking white wine, both of her and I were red in the face, our eyes were intoxicated, and we were already drunk for a long time. I couldn't help but hold her hands, she shyly lowered her head, her face was even redder, someone knocked on the door, opened the door to see, is the door of the widow Li Xia, she smiled and said to me: Yesterday I bought the lottery ticket actually won more than twenty million. You promised me that as long as I have five million, you will marry me, and now you can't deny it, can you? Li Xia looked at zhang li and zhang li with a flushed face and snorted, I already knew that you two must have an inside story, and now it is indeed exposed. Alas, forget it, this stinky man is given to you, and as a gift, I will give you five million! I was overjoyed, smiled and said to Li Xia, that is really thank you. Zhang Li also smiled happily, put her arms around Li Xia and said, You are my good sister, and we will be a family in the future. Zhang Li and I finally got married, bought a villa with the five million that Li Xia gave, and then moved in. Li Xia also joined in the fun and moved into the villa to be neighbors with us. The three of us are together every day, but it is lively and happy, and such a day is really beautiful.

2, the first time I went to the old man's house to drink, drank a lot, the old man gave me 1,000 yuan from the dead and alive fortress. The next day the old man did not remember this incident, I had a clever move, often went to the old man to drink, and gave me money every time. Later, the old man drank more and more, and generally rarely got drunk. Until one day, the old man found that the wine treasured in the family was only empty bottles. Thought I had stolen the drink, and then beat me up hard.?

3. The old man has a serious cold, afraid of infection, the brother-in-law who was just born went to buy a mask. As a result, when the pharmacy was gone, the old man came to the hardware store and asked: "Boss, do you have a mask?" The clerk said, "No!! The next day, the old man came and asked, "Boss, do you have a mask?" The clerk said, "No!! On the third day, the old man came and asked again: "Boss, do you have a mask?" The clerk said, "If you ask me if I have a mask again, I'll nail your mouth with a screwdriver!" On the fourth day, the old man came and asked again: "Boss, do you have a screwdriver?" The clerk said, "No!! The old man said, "That boss, do you have a mask?" ”?

4. My sister-in-law has become a team leader in a foreign company, and her salary is usually very busy. Dragging his tired body home last night, the little nephew ran over and asked his sister-in-law to help with the toys. After the sister-in-law played with the toys, the little nephew said: "Mom, you can play with me!" The sister-in-law was a little annoyed, so she said angrily: "Don't call mom anymore, or I will ignore you!" After a while, the little nephew who couldn't hold back said timidly: "Mrs. Zhang, trouble you..."

5. I am a postdoctoral graduate from a prestigious university, and now I am uprooted and going to work in an enterprise in the northeast. Recently, the owner of the breakfast shop downstairs offended one of my colleagues. The next morning, colleagues gathered a few people to go to the store to make trouble, just in time for the queue at the door to buy buns. The colleague could not move, and patted the big brother in front of him with his hand: Hello, please let me, I want to go inside and make trouble. The eldest brother narrowed his eyes and roared: You can't do it, go to the back and queue up! The colleague was momentarily provoked: Oh...

6. Once I was on a business trip with a female manager, and after I finished my business, we went back to the hotel together. Since I was more introverted and did not take the initiative to talk to her, we both looked at each other and did not say a word. But the atmosphere was a little awkward, so I was the first to say, "Hungry?" Do you want food? As a result, the female manager suddenly lost her temper and said, "You just want to eat, I am eating, remember that I am eating." ”?

7, a few days ago a foot-washing sister confessed to me, I thought about it, I went to wash my feet once for 200 yuan, 2 times a month, a year, can spend about 5,000 yuan. After I agreed to his confession, I soon got married. After getting married, I realized that I was losing money. When I came home in the evening, I heard my wife shouting: Hurry up and wash my feet...

8, a long time, and girlfriends often quarrel, helpless to face a breakup. On the day of the breakup, we said yes to each other and calmed each other down for a while. Two months on, yesterday, she finally called me, so happy, she: I'm getting married next month, you're coming! I instantly felt like the whole person was not good. On the wedding day, I found out that the groom was actually my brother! At the wine table, my brother smiled and explained to me: I just proved to you that this woman is unreliable!

9. During the university period, I used weekends to earn extra money by working part-time outside the campus. Studying medicine, there was a Chinese medicine teacher nearby who was short of people to go. One day I met a couple who brought their daughter to see a doctor, and I grabbed the soup medicine and instructed: boil once per pack of 100 grams, three packs a day. The man said to me: You give me 120 grams per bag! I asked: Why? The man leaned over and whispered: The child's mother is a foodie, and she will definitely steal some medicine for the child!

10. My sister has been busy at work lately, so she gave me the task of picking up and dropping off her niece. On the way, I had a good conversation with my niece, and when she reached the school gate, she suddenly stopped. Then the mysterious ear said to me: Auntie, I have mastered 18 kinds of baby coaxing skills, and now I will send you to give me a baby. Hearing this, I immediately burst into tears: Your aunt and I have mastered 18 kinds of skills for giving birth to babies, and now I am a bad man!

#Funny Scene of the Year # #搞笑一刻 #