1, in the restaurant is eating happily, came a couple, the sister sat opposite me, her family is standing next to me. The two of them stared at my bowl together, like staring at the download progress bar. Seems to feel it

1, in the restaurant is eating happily, came a couple, the sister sat opposite me, her family is standing next to me. The two of them stared at my bowl together, like staring at the download progress bar. As if feeling the heat of the magnesium lamp, I consciously tripled the speed... Finally, under the baptism of two pairs of eager eyes, I rolled my eyes while choking and walked out. It seems to have given the man a stool, warm...

2, to do neon billboards, met the love enemy when chasing the first love. The past was no longer mentioned, I pretended to be okay with him to talk to him, and he did not mention the past. When I ordered the neon sign last night to light up, I noticed that the model's hat light on the light sign was actually green.

3, today when waiting for the traffic light, a great uncle almost got hit when he ran the red light, and then argued with the driver, the driver said: Uncle, you see the red light you were hit will only lose ten thousand, but if it is a green light, you may be lost tens of thousands, in order to get more than tens of thousands, you will wait more next time!

4, this TV wall that my dad is proud of, this cabinet door, this blue lantern strip like a nightclub, this pink curtain with the national color heavenly fragrance and this tulip sheet. And this crystal lamp... Typical parental features. (From netizens to share)

5, my mother these two days suspicious began to suspect that I early love, all kinds of side knocking, I explained to her that she did not listen, and then I had no way, pointed to the chandelier and said: If I really fall in love early, this lamp will be extinguished immediately. As soon as I finished speaking, the light brush went out. I'm a little confused, wouldn't it be so accurate? Just as I was about to explain the light came on again, I saw my father pressing the switch there: What, girl, is it exciting?

6. Xueba's sister-in-law was admitted to Qingda University without participating in the college entrance examination. In her junior year, she greeted new college students at the entrance. On this day, the sister-in-law encountered such a strange thing, and the boy took the middle-aged sister's arm to register at the registration office. The boy who came to the table said playfully, "Mom, you go and pay me to register." The middle-aged elder sister said: "You have already gone to college, you should do these things yourself." "There was no way, he had to go to the registration desk to register his name." The teacher asked the boy, "What is your date of birth?" The boy was very nervous, could not answer, turned to the middle-aged sister and asked: "Mom, when did I give birth?" There was laughter all around.

7, the girlfriend's birthday, Shuai Pot spent a lot of silver to buy a QQ number to send to the girlfriend, the number is 1314520, representing "a lifetime I love you". After buying it back, it can't log in at all, prompting the wrong password. The handsome man took a closer look, and it turned out that the number was 1314250. Ha ha!

8, I want to go to three weddings, dad also said before going out to go to the wedding, and don't bring my mother! Out of curiosity, I asked my father more: "Where are you going to participate?" Dad said, "Sheraton! I said, "By coincidence, I'm going to Sheraton too!" "When the two of us took out the happy post and opened it, I was dumbfounded! The groom is Dad's ex-girlfriend and the bride is my high school classmate.

9. After losing the college entrance examination three times, I did not give up and chose to go to Hengshui Middle School to continue my studies. In the end, the effort paid off, and I successfully entered the ideal university. On the first day of school, the teacher asked me to fill out a registration form and also stated that there was one for each person, and there was not much to change. I filled in when I saw the same table, and finally filled in the national "Han" in the gender column. He thought about it and added the word "zi" after "Han".

10, to the nephew to press the old money, I joked to him: "You give your uncle kowtow to your uncle to give you a red envelope, a head 100, kowtow 5 okay?" The little nephew said, "Well, talk is enough" and then he slammed 6, and I asked him, "You bumped 6, and your uncle only has 500 to do?" The little guy said with a disdainful face: "The one with the more is sent to you!" "I...

11, when I was in elementary school, the class teacher sent the class test results every time from high to low, and then sent the test results, the highest score was 98 points, and I didn't see my results?!!! until I got 78 points. The teacher then said that those who scored "100 points" would not be sent! The teacher is so naughty!

12, the New Year to visit the old man's house, the old two also gave their sons pressure money. The old man said: You kowtow to grandpa, one head 1000, you can kowtow 5. The son said: Words count. Then 6 of them were knocked out. The old man asked his son: What if you bumped 6 and your grandfather only had 5,000? The little guy said with a disdainful face: "The one who sent you more!"

13, I asked my wife: "Who chased you so much in the first place, why did you choose me?" Wife: "Because I have always rejected others, I want to talk about love practice, see that you look so obscene, want to deal with you, and then kick you off, and the result is that you are glued." ”

14, the sister is a woman. Found an object a bookish angry, small face is very white, and very weak look. Once the sisters followed the object home to eat, bought twenty pounds of rice, and the sisters ran up the stairs with their backs on their backs and carried them to the eighth floor in one breath. Then there was no then, and his mother said that his son was too weak and afraid that his sisters would bully him in the future!