After sneaking around my mother-in-law's mobile phone and finding that her Alipay spending quota was as high as 1.2 million, I immediately cashed out 1.2 million to my mobile phone and got on the train and ran. Encountered a non on the train

After sneaking around my mother-in-law's mobile phone and finding that her Alipay spending quota was as high as 1.2 million, I immediately cashed out 1.2 million to my mobile phone and got on the train and ran. Met a very beautiful girl on the train. I pretended to stare at her inadvertently for a moment, and who knew that the girl suddenly said to me: The phone is under me. I gave her the phone and she made a call directly with her own phone and returned it to me. I was immediately happy, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? After a while I received a text from her: You zipper is not pulled.

2. Smoking is harmful to health, so I recently planned to stop smoking. Today Dad gave me a cigarette, and Dad said tightly: This cigarette will not be smoked for a month, buy you a tablet. And then I really put up with it for a month. Yesterday, when Dad brought the computer, I asked: Dad, why do you believe that I did not smoke? Dad laughed and said, "Your dad and I put a cannon fight inside, and you dare to blow you up."

3. When I first graduated from college, I entered a company full of ambition. Not counting the boss six people, the boss made me vice president, and her wife was the director. The four sales managers are East China, South China, Central China and West China. A few of our bosses ate steamed buns and instant noodles together for half a year. I had a full and happy life, but unfortunately it ended up going out of business!

4. My brother-in-law often invites me to the barbecue stall downstairs in the community to eat barbecue, and when I ask, I know that my brother-in-law has taken a fancy to the daughter of the owner of the barbecue shop. It didn't take long for us to mingle with our boss to the point where we could take credit. As a result, the two of us ate 2500 a month, and when it was time to pay off the debt, the brother-in-law pretended to have no money and said: Otherwise, I will work for you for a month to offset our accounts. A year later, the brother-in-law opened a new couple's barbecue on the road opposite the barbecue stall. The brother-in-law has no one's emotional intelligence.

5. On weekends, I use my newly purchased Huawei computer to fight the king. At this moment, my phone suddenly rang. After connecting, I found that it was a phone call selling insurance, and the other party encouraged me to insure my child. I felt that it was impolite to hang up directly, so I said: I can't sit in the Lord, you talk to the person concerned. Then I gave the phone to my 5-year-old daughter and continued to play the game myself. After a few minutes, I heard Pig Man bald and strong over here, and what was being said over there, and the two of them chatted happily...

6. After getting married to her husband, I drove directly to my honeymoon by car. This day on the road, bored in the car to look at the scenery on the side of the road. At this time, I suddenly saw a truck pulling pigs, and the car was full of piglets. So I pulled my husband aside and said, "Look, you relative!" My husband gave me a blank look and said: If I don't marry you, can I be related to them??

7. When I was working summer vacation, I found that the little girl we came with was running a big hotel at home, and the part-time job was because his father let her experience life. After knowing that, I struggled for 20 years to be less, and I frantically pursued the little girl. On Sunday, we watched a movie together, and when I came out of the movie theater I asked her how she was impressed with me. The girl replied frankly, "No feelings! "The next night, I invited her to eat Western food, and we talked very happily during the meal, and after eating, we sent her home. On the way I asked, "I must have felt a little bit today, right?" The girl thought for a moment and said, "Yes, I have eaten very well!" ”

8. I accidentally lost my Prada wallet on my way home from work today, and I was dying. At this time, the uncle of the security guard informed me that someone had picked it up and handed it over to him. So I was ecstatic to claim it, and the security uncle said to me with a regretful face: THE ID card and bank card are there, that is, the money is gone. I smiled and said indifferently: It's okay, the id certificate has not fallen! When I got home, my tears came down, I wouldn't tell anyone that I didn't have any money in my wallet.......

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #