1, the sister-in-law has lived in my house for more than a month, today the wife said to the sister-in-law: Sister, I found that you came to this month a lot lighter.? The sister-in-law said: This is not the credit of the brother-in-law.? old

1, the sister-in-law has lived in my house for more than a month, today the wife said to the sister-in-law: Sister, I found that you came to this month a lot lighter.? The sister-in-law said: This is not the credit of the brother-in-law.? The wife immediately became serious, and then asked: What happened to your brother-in-law? I was not convinced, and said: You see your sister, eating with me is very delicious, and the weight has increased a lot. The sister-in-law skimmed her lips and said: That's because flowers can absorb the nutrients in cow dung, and my flowers will only be smoked by cow dung!??

2. This year, I passed the Michelin-starred chef, and I also have a kind of return for myself. I was ready to go home for a year off, and at home I had someone design a huge kitchen that cost more than $1 million, but it was also worth it. After I finished it, I called my brother and sister-in-law to come to my house to taste my craft, and the two of them were very happy. Later, the two of them quarreled frequently, and in order to make them calm, I made a big meal and called them to my house, which has recently reached three quarrels a day! You say, are these two mouths addicted to eating the food I made? Am I caught in the trap of them?

3. A relative introduced an object to Tiezhu, who was more introverted and could not speak, so he asked his brothers to accompany him. After the meeting, the girl felt that the iron pillar was not bad, so she asked him: "What do you feel about me?" Tie Zhu whispered, "I think your other conditions are not bad, that is, your figure is a little bloated, like a big vase." The girl was a little upset after hearing this, and his brother quickly apologized and said, "He can't speak, how can he be like a vase?" The girl was just a little relieved when she heard his buddy continue, "Obviously like a gas canister!" ”

4. I grew up with FC games, which taught me the truth of being a human being. Super Marie: Success is not about how high you jump, but how far you run. Contra: It's often not the enemy in front of you that stops you, but the black gun behind you! "Snake": It is not the sugar-coated shell that defeats you, but your own growing body, and you are the most powerful enemy. Tetris: Mistakes made accumulate and successes disappear.

5, recently my sister-in-law is in a bad mood, I specially contacted a friend to spend more than 100,000 yuan to buy her a Hermès bag! My sister-in-law was particularly happy after receiving the bag and went directly to the kitchen to make me a big meal. I asked my niece who watched the cartoon: Little one, did you give your mother a gift? Niece: Yes, I gave my mom a gift with my dad, and my mom was very happy! Curiously, I asked: What gift was given? Niece: I turned over my dad's private money and handed it to my mom...?

6, the other day and boyfriend broke up, my mother said a lot of down me, afraid that I will not find a boyfriend in the future. Angry, I went back to my room to sleep, but there were too many mosquitoes, and I refused to go out to get mosquito coils, so I kept slapping with my hands. At this time, I heard the little nephew shouting: Grandma, you don't have to say it, aunt she knows it's wrong. I'm punching myself in the face in the room, and the beating is loud!

7. When the second generation of the rich returned to China, he met his ex-girlfriend on the plane and found that the woman was always staring at him. Two minutes later, the girl whispered, "I think you look very familiar, very similar to my former boyfriend, and even talk like a voice!" Fu Er Dai said angrily, "You are lame! I'm your ex-boyfriend! The girl suddenly realized: "I'm sorry, it's really you!" ”

8, once the school let you buy learning materials, everyone is 7 yuan, I in order to make myself able to have some pocket money to spend a mouth to ask for 10 yuan, the result of the mother did not believe me, I ran to ask the classmates opposite the home, at that time the heart was almost the truth. I didn't expect my mother to say as soon as she came back: "I didn't listen to the teacher when I saw the class, people obviously had 12 yuan!" ”

9. The night before yesterday, I found a girl in the KTV to drink with me, and I don't know which good person photographed me. After the shooting, he actually sent the photo to my rich wife. As a result, she fought with me like crazy, and I cleverly explained: she was my distant relative! The wife calmly thought about it for a while, still a little disbelieving, and asked: Didn't spend money?

10. The sister-in-law is pregnant, and the brother-in-law deliberately asks: Whose child is it? The sister-in-law hesitated and said: Who else can it be if it is not yours? Later, my brother-in-law asked me if she had hesitated for a moment before answering me. I scratched my head and said: Maybe the sister-in-law is too happy, and if you suddenly ask this, you will definitely be a little flustered. The brother-in-law said: You seem to have a point! I should trust her! I finally showed a relaxed smile, and a stone in my heart can be counted as falling.......?

11. When I was late for class, I said to my classmates: Today the teacher is late, and it is snowing on the road, so I will come slowly, and I am not qualified to accept your salute for this class. The students were greatly moved, and they all said: Qualified, qualified class leader immediately stood up and shouted: Stand up, salute. The students shouted in unison: Hello teacher. The momentum was earth-shattering, and the teacher said in frustration: It's over, and the principal knows that I am late again.

12, when I was 25 years old, my parents added a sister to the family, and I have been very precious to her since I was a child. Just now my sister and my son had a fight, and before I did, I cried, and I stared at my son angrily and blamed him loudly. At this time, I found that after so many years, it has not changed, I am still the most distressed about my sister, there is only one woman in the world that I feel that I do not allow others to cry her, that is, my sister. Other girls crying makes people feel a kind of want to protect, but my sister is really ugly when she cries.

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