The hotel opened for the third day! Two guests fight, after the incident, the hotel owner asks the waiter: "Do you know that the customer is God?" "Know" "Why don't you stop the guest from fighting"? "Gods

The hotel opened for the third day! Two guests fight, after the incident, the hotel owner asks the waiter: "Do you know that the customer is God?" "Know" "Why don't you stop the guest from fighting"? "The battle of the gods, how dare I, a mortal, participate..."

2, the chairman's unmarried female secretary turned out to be pregnant! When the chairman learned about it, he was furious and said that he must find out who it was. Then the next day more than 30 people resigned in the company, and the chairman's son also prepared the resignation letter with trepidation! The boss saw it and said, "You don't have to resign!" "The son was overjoyed, and the father actually trusted himself so much. The chairman then said: "You are the ugliest in the whole company, and it can't be you!" ”

3, that year I was in the garment factory, talking to a girl. A boy blatantly grabbed with me, and gave me a battle book ~ ~ wrestling, who lost automatically quit. The girl knew that I had practiced, so she stood aside and watched, and did not persuade me. The boy was thrown out by me twice, and he was annoyed and did not stop. When he rushed up again, I thought to myself: It is not appropriate to hit it with a heavy hand, just let you lose people! I ripped off his pants with one hand, and the guy wasn't wearing underwear......... Now both of their children can play soy sauce

4, at night back home and quarrel with my wife, the tigress kicked me to the ground with a whirlwind leg! I got up and said in disbelief: You wait for me, tomorrow I will go to the martial arts class! The tigress flew up and kicked again, just stood up, and kicked me down again! He scolded: "Oh shit! Ready to learn martial arts to fight with me, right? I was also angry and roared: I am determined to learn martial arts, no one can stop me, I must learn martial arts to tie the "horse step" well, so that you can no longer kick me down!

5. After graduating from elementary school, my father arranged me to enter the city no. 1 middle school. In the first lesson of the school, the teacher finished the name, saying that before the class leader stood up, all of a sudden stood up 6... The deputy squad leader stood up, and stood up 78 more... When the team leader stood up, this time there was a rush, and all stood up. Looking around, only sitting by myself, quite a feeling of standing out from the crowd, I am the crane...

6, yesterday played diamond promotion, hit half of the girlfriend said that she had stomachache let me go back to accompany her, do not go back to break up, I think I did not think about it to break up, but in the end or lost, the girlfriend is gone, I stood by the window silently lit a cigarette deeply blamed myself, if only the first magic resistance is good.

7) The real reaction to drowning is not to struggle for help, but to behave very quietly. A true drowning person does not struggle violently or shout for help, and to others he seems to be a sluggish and quiet standing in the water. This is because the limbs in the water cannot touch the ground, they can only remain upright, and the difficulty of breathing makes it difficult to wave their arms or call for help, so it looks like normal play.

8, and colleagues on business, eat noodles at the train station, the boss said ten dollars a bowl. We ate two bowls, took a hundred yuan to the boss, found me sixty, I asked the boss: Isn't it ten dollars a bowl? Boss: Eat ten dollars a bowl while standing, and eat twenty dollars a bowl while sitting. The colleague was not happy and asked: I just stood at the entrance of the store to eat, why do I charge twenty yuan? Boss: You should stand inside the store, the outside of the station has damaged the image of my shop, so charge twenty yuan. Train station snack Dazai man...

9, in the back kitchen of the hotel to work, a colleague likes a girl at the front desk, the girl visually measured more than one meter seven, colleagues are estimated to only go to people's shoulders a little more. Every time the employees ate, he always tried his best to stand in front of the girls. However, every time he stood in front of people's homes, they would not eat and went straight away. He was depressed for a long time, and finally plucked up enough courage to question the goddess in his heart. The girl said sheepishly, every time you stand in front of me I see dandruff on your head and I have no appetite.

10, at night with his wife frolicking, thinking that it is snowing outside, so he said to his wife: I am heavy snow, you are green pine. Wife: No! I am the snow, you are the pine! Me: Why? The wife stood up and stood up straight! It turns out that the wife is longer!

1 We bought shoes together in the dormitory, visited a few stores and finally looked at a pair, but I still wanted the boss to reduce the price, so I said: "Boss, cheaper, we have more people." After hearing this, the boss stood up and said, "Oh, there are so many people, I'm still afraid of you!" ”

12, this look at the night laughing can not sleep ah, the funny girlfriend cold jokes, girlfriend's boyfriend is particularly wooden. During the Spring Festival, the two went home for the New Year, the girlfriend was motion sick, and when she got out of the car, she threw up, and her boyfriend stood stupidly on the side. The girlfriend said to her boyfriend, "Honey, you give me a pat." "Her boyfriend was stunned for a moment and then took the camera out of his bag...

13, a college teaching assistant, when I was about to leave work, my husband called him to say that he and a few buddies were eating out, asked me to come over, said he came to pick me up, and asked me to wait for him at the school gate. After waiting for two minutes at the bus stop in front of the school, the BMW who drove his buddies came over and stopped in front of me: "Beauty, have a cup of coffee together?" "Before I could react, a beautiful student next to me sat in at a speed that was too fast to cover the jingle of the bell...

14, the third grade son does homework, there is a math problem will not be, just ask the daughter-in-law. I didn't expect that my daughter-in-law would not be embarrassed, and my son's eyes rolled and said: I will give you the debut brain teaser problem, mother, you stand with the pig and beat an animal. My daughter-in-law couldn't guess it, so she asked me, who had just left work: What kind of animal am I standing with pigs? I laughed and said: The answer is like (like), haha! It was the worst day for my son and I!