1, see a big uncle to pay the electricity bill, the staff to see the uncle cost is very low, curiously asked: why are you so little home appliances? Uncle said triumphantly: Because I have a trick! The staff was puzzled:

1, see a big uncle to pay the electricity bill, the staff to see the uncle cost is very low, curiously asked: why are you so little home appliances? Uncle said triumphantly: Because I have a trick! The staff wondered: you don't watch TV? Don't boil water without air conditioning? Uncle shook his head and whispered: "Visit the door at night!" After watching TV and drinking tea, I also saved air conditioning, and I was lucky enough to drink a few cups! The staff laughed: Then you can't go to people's homes every day? Uncle said mysteriously: Relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbors, take turns to line up the number cycle again and again...

2, in Shun f hard five years, yesterday after work directly to pick up the car. Pay it all out, not to show off anything, but to feel that you have worked hard for so many years, just give yourself a birthday gift. It is also a treat to treat yourself, think about these years is not easy, everything has survived! The performance of the car is very good, pure black, and the front basket can also put some food!

3. I am a university teacher. When I was about to leave work, my husband called to say that he was having dinner with a few buddies, called me over, said he had come to pick me up, and asked me to wait for him at the school gate. After waiting for two minutes at the bus stop in front of the school, I saw my husband drive his buddy's Mercedes-Benz E300 over and stop in front of me: Beauty, appreciate your face, go to dinner together? Before I could react, a beautiful student next to me sat in at a speed that could not cover the jingle of the bell...

4. The brother-in-law's credit card owes more than 1 million yuan to the female anchor in order to tip the female anchor, and the daughter-in-law hides from me to mortgage the house to help him repay the money. I was particularly angry and immediately divorced this sister-in-law. Within a few days, I married the widow of the village who had been widowed for many years. After I got home from work last night, my wife scolded me with a split face, and I was confused. Then asked why, she said that because she was in a bad mood, she wanted to train me to relieve my anger. After listening to her explanation, I feel that this reason is too far-fetched. Feeling irritable, he went to a friend for a drink and talked about it. The friend sighed and said, "You are content, your wife scolded you and you can say a reason." ”?

5, my brother's girlfriend ran away with a rich man, and my brother was very devastated. After I told my wife about this, I asked her, "Honey, do you like me?" Or do you like a lot of money? The wife smiled and said, "I like that you make a lot of money." "Yes, it was obviously a multiple-choice question, but it was turned into a fill-in-the-blank question by her."

6. On Mother's Day, I gritted my teeth and bought some 99 yuan a pound of yellow cherries in the Wanda mall. When I got home and pulled out the key to open the door, there was a phone call. I left the bag at the door and forgot to take it. After a while, I remembered that the door was empty and depressed. Little Lori came out of the door and shouted, "Uncle, I'm not good, your garbage I helped you throw it into the garbage truck downstairs!!! ”

7, I am quite dink, but unexpectedly still pregnant, my husband and I agree that I bought fake drugs, helpless to give birth to the child. Now that my son is four years old, he is particularly naughty, and that time my son was beaten by me, and he wanted to find an old announcement to accuse me of bullying him. Just when my husband went to the toilet, he didn't find him, asked me I ignored him. Finally, the son said loudly, "Where has your husband gone?" I reckon he doesn't want you anymore and went to the supermarket to buy a wife! ”

8. The WiFi password of the sister-in-law's house is very special: 3.14159265. That day my parents were not at home, and my boyfriend came to my house to play and asked me for my WiFi password. Sister-in-law said: Pi. Boyfriend input: 3.141592. The results showed that it was not right, and the sister-in-law said: How can you be so stupid, you have said Pi! I directly slapped the past: when I forced you to memorize it so many times in junior high school, you still forgot it for me!

9, the brothers went to play in the Shangshan Park, in front of a beautiful girl, in order to get her two ways, the brothers took out a hundred yuan from their pockets and rushed to catch up and said: Girl, you dropped the money. The girl took over and said: Obviously I lost 200 yuan, how can it be only a hundred yuan? Dude hurriedly said: Then I will pay you a hundred yuan in V letter! The girl took out her mobile phone and said: Forget it, the 200 yuan lost last month, you can come back 100 yuan, satisfied, that hundred you buy cigarettes!

10, I am a soft rice eater, my wife works in Foxconn icon, this month's performance is good, paid 25,000 wages. My wife was very happy and drove after work to take me to a full-time cardon to eat roast duck. The two of us were eating happily, and suddenly the leader called, and my wife did not dare to answer, saying that she was going back to work overtime. Soft rice is not for free, so I will translate, the phone you dialed has been turned off, please dial later, she will let the lead listen. At this time, there was a roar from the other end of the phone: You are stupid when I ??? I'm calling you V-letter, hurry back and work overtime!!!

11 When I was in college, I had a roommate who was particularly miserable, and often bad luck would happen to him. Once this buddy of mine was leaning on the balcony on the phone, and my roommate came over and took a picture of it, and he was so frightened that his hand slipped and fell off for 6 seconds. At that time, we were living on the tenth floor of the dormitory, and he looked down, and there was someone on the eighth floor to dry the quilt, and the mobile phone just fell into the quilt! My brother's mood was instantly extremely excited, the speech was all vibrato, rushing downstairs to collect the quilt the man shouted: Hello! My phone dropped in your quilt and helped me pick it up! As a result, the 1+1 goods downstairs shook the quilt and looked up: What do you say? You can never understand this mood.

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