When driving back to his hometown to visit the grave during the Qingming Festival, he accidentally killed a sheep. The farmer asked me to compensate him for 3,000 yuan, and I knew that I had lost money and handed him the money. He took the money, and I said money

When driving back to his hometown to visit the grave during the Qingming Festival, he accidentally killed a sheep. The farmer asked me to compensate him for 3,000 yuan, and I knew that I had lost money and handed him the money. He took the money, and I said that the money had already been lost to you, so I would take it away. The farmer said indignantly: No! I wondered: the money has already been given to you, why don't you let me take it? Farmer: So if I drive your wife to death, can I take her away after I lose the money?

2, I am a Sichuanese usually like to eat spicy, this night my wife made sour and spicy powder and sour and spicy is particularly delicious. I was sweating profusely, taking a sip of chutney and a sip of beer, sucking and sucking as I ate, and my voice was a little louder. At this time, the mother-in-law called, and the wife answered, turning on the hands-free. After chatting about some serious business, I heard my mother-in-law ask: Can you also raise pigs in your city? The wife wondered: No, Mom, why do you ask like this? Mother-in-law: I obviously heard the sound of pigs eating on your side on the phone.

3, Foxconn beauty colleagues suddenly asked me: Brother Li, are you free tonight, I booked two movie tickets! Brother Li was excited: there is time, there is time! Beauty Colleague: Great, I callEd Lili! Brother Li: Li Li? That eccentric older young woman? Beauty Colleague: Yes, she asked me to help you date, I'm sorry about it! Brother Li: Huh? I thought it was you!

4, buddy and the school's most unreasonable girl married, who persuaded useless, recently buddy suddenly divorced, since then the buddies made a vow, decided not to remarry in the future, we all asked him why? The buddy said: I now have a dog, a cat and a myna, enough is enough. "How can these replace wives?" I asked. He replied, "Absolutely!" My dog growls all day, myna swears all day, and my cat can stay home all night! ”

5, the mother all day long to think of the sister stupid, said that the sister's heart is not enough, maybe one day was abducted and sold to have to pay for the number of people... The number of times I say it is not happy: you have no end, you look at our daughter's more than 200 pounds of large body grid, can such abduction be sold? Sister: You... You two... I...... I have nothing to say! I just want to laugh: I can rest assured that such a sister will put it aside!

6. At night, the rich man and I went to Haidilao to eat, and saw the two tables next to us open. Me: Boss, the guests are fighting, don't you ask? Boss: The customer is God, the battle of the gods, how dare I and other mortals participate. Me: What if the boss runs away after they finish fighting and doesn't give money? Boss: Then I might as well show you what the twilight of the gods is.

7. The father-in-law died when he had stone surgery, and the mother-in-law remarried to a rich old man. Within a few days of their marriage, the mother-in-law became pregnant. After a few days, the mother-in-law's reaction was strong and she always threw up. So his husband comforted and said, "You must be strong, you are now our baby!" The mother-in-law said coldly: "Hmm, what I have in my belly is your family's treasure, and I am a treasure box." ”

8, my cousin is really a headache, not only poor learning, but also mischievous and often beaten by his father. This midterm exam did not do well, at home and beaten again, his father took a bamboo fence to smoke him, he hid while crying: Dad you don't fight, Dad I don't dare anymore, but his dad did not spare his men. His dad said while smoking: Whoever calls you daddy, you call me daddy, I'm going to beat you! Unless I don't have your son. The cousin cried and said: Lao Wang, don't beat me, I will never call you daddy again, I call you Lao Wang, you don't beat me anyway...

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #