Hello, I am a cool dad, although there is no baby, is a preparatory daddy, education does not distinguish between parents and parents, the child grows the most!
Every father and mother must play to their own strengths and give their children the best education where they are good at.
In ancient times, when Meng Tong first entered the private school to learn the title of the elder, the word "father" ranked first. People say that mother's love is like water, father's love is like a mountain, if mothers bring more meticulous care and love to their children, then fathers bring children as firm responsibilities and responsibilities as mountains.
For the Way of the Father
Sima Qian once said: "Parents are also the essence of man." "The father is an important person who leads the direction of the child's life, an indispensable force in family education, and an important source of the formation of the child's personality quality." As fathers, we should take responsibility for educating our children. "If you do not teach, the father's fault", the ancient admonition has it. Fathers who want to be friends with their children should pay attention to two things: one is independence, and the other is equality.
1. Independence
Independence is to see the child as an independent personality, not only to love him and hurt him, but also to give trust and respect.
2. Equality
Equality is reflected in two ways. On the one hand, there should be an atmosphere of discussion between parents and children. Whatever belongs to the child himself, neither oversteps nor interferes. On the other hand, parents and children should have a harmonious communication atmosphere, often talk to each other, and discuss issues based on common interests. Share the sorrows of the child and share the joy of both parties.
Power for the Father
"To be a father, to be merciful." In family education, the exemplary power of the father is very important. Fathers should set an example for their children in life and lead by example, because the father's mountain-like power will subtly affect the child. Fathers have the power of education and inspiration for their children, and they must establish a sense of awe for their children from an early age, set an example for their children, and let their children fear nature, society, and life.
1. Fathers are a haven for girls to rely on
People often say, "A daughter is a sweet little cotton jacket." "The father's tall and majestic shore will bring a sense of security to the daughter, which is the daughter's pride, and may also become the reference scale for the daughter's future mate selection." Daughters who have been nurtured by their father's love since childhood will grow up to be more secure and confident.
2. The father is the object of the boy's emulation
Fathers are often the embodiment of strength, prestige, and wisdom, and the father's actions affect boys, and he can learn some of the characteristics of male behavior from his father. If they grow up without their father's care, boys will be timid, vulnerable, and lack masculinity. The relationship between father and son should not be just the father's leadership, but the mutual admiration of two people.
For the Teachings of the Father
In the ancient text, it is said: "Parents are highly moral, and children are good teachers." "Fathers do not necessarily need to tell their children any big truths, as long as they start from themselves, they can act honestly, do things seriously, understand the characteristics of children at various life stages, and educate their children from the inside out." Be good at exploring the instincts of love and respect in children's nature, rather than constraining them from the outside to the inside.
1. We must pay attention to the "quality" of getting along with children
When fathers and children are together, they should not only have "quantity", but also pay attention to "quality". Fathers should deliberately deploy some "blank" time, carefully design how to spend it with their children, and fill the "love slot" between father and son.
2. Establish an equal relationship with your child
Fathers should close the distance with their children, stand at the same level with their children, and establish more sincere feelings with their children, which is more conducive to consolidating the intimate parent-child relationship.
Having a good father is an extremely fortunate thing for children, because the pattern of fathers affects their lives. I hope that every father can participate in education with heart and "force".
1
The father's pattern determines how high a child can fly
Psychologists have pointed out that before the child is 12 years old, he often regards his father as his idol. Children often have a strong admiration for their fathers, using them as a symbol of wisdom and strength. Children will subconsciously imitate the father's behavior. After the mental maturity, it will strive to reach or surpass the height of the father.
Zeng Jize, the son of Zeng Guofan, is an example, Zeng Jize took his father as an example, and learned from his father when he was a person and an official. He later became an official in the DPRK and showed no less ability in political affairs than his father. Zeng Guofan handled foreign affairs - "Tianjin Teaching Case", mishandled, reputation fell to the bottom, Zeng Guofan realized the importance of diplomacy, so he often warned Zeng Jize to open his eyes to the world. Zeng Jize learned a foreign language and was bound to get up where his father fell. Sure enough, Zeng Jize played an outstanding role in later foreign affairs and became the most famous Chinese diplomat at that time.
And relative to mothers, fathers generally do not spoil their children, they often point out a direction for their children to reach with their own strength. Children have more space to play, but also exercise the ability to stand on their own. Therefore, the best education given by fathers to their children is not considerate care of everything, but a determined education that guides the direction.
A good father must set a good example for his child in terms of pattern and determination, which will determine the upper limit of what the child can reach in the future.
2
The abundance of fatherly love ensures the child's sense of security
With the increasing cost of education today, fathers, as the financial pillar of the family, often bear great financial pressure. In order to work, there is often little time to spend with the family, which causes a huge lack of education for children. Children who lack father's love in their early years often lack a sense of security, saying that fatherly love is like a mountain, and when the child does not have a solid dependence around him, he will become inferior and anxious.
When you grow up, even if you become a strong adult, the child cannot get rid of this insecurity. Such children are easily stuck to the rules in their careers, afraid of failure, afraid of breaking through innovation, and dare not make new attempts. This often makes his career limited, unable to break through the inherent situation and open up new horizons, which seriously restricts the height that his personal career can reach.
So no matter how busy you are, as a father, you must also take time to accompany your children, and your father's care will make your children feel that they have a strong enough backing, a sense of security, and they will be confident in doing things, rather than being afraid of their hands and feet.
In family education, the mother is also a pivotal role, and the mother's unique gentleness and tolerance can make the child develop a generous character. The mother's own cultivation often affects the child's character and personality throughout life.
3
The mother's cultivation determines the character of the child
An Austrian association for caring for girls has a very famous question:
If a family has a pair of children, but only one education fund, who do you vote for?
Their answer: vote for the girl.
Because you educate a boy, you educate only one individual, and by educating a girl you educate a family. This is not a lie, in a family, the mother's cultivation determines the character of the child. In infancy, people's consciousness is extremely simple, their behavior habits are not fixed, and they have a unique attachment to their mother psychologically.
Mothers' behavior, ideological character, and morality are easy to leave a deep imprint on the hearts of their children, and gradually form the initial concepts of good and evil, true and false, good and bad, right and wrong, and how well the foundation of this period is played will determine what kind of person they become.
As the famous educationalist Sukhomlinsky said in his book "Family Pedagogy":
"The source of a child's moral development lies in the wisdom, emotions and inner passion of the mother, and how a person becomes in his own moral development determines what kind of mother he has."
How a person's character determines whether he can gain a foothold in society. Whether we can get along well with people and whether we can avoid making mistakes of principle in the face of major issues of right and wrong. Such a person may not have a very amazing performance, but the victory lies in solid stability, long endurance, and the road of life can naturally go further.
4
Mother's love is as gentle and generous as water
We often say that strict fathers and mothers, mothers tend to be more gentle and generous to their children, fathers are often more severe, and feminine characteristics determine that mothers are often more tolerant and understanding and more patient in education. Therefore, children who grow up in single-parent families, if they are brought up by their fathers, girls are generally more like boys, and their temper is often more direct.
Boys brought up by their mothers are generally gentler, more inclusive, and do not like to be aggressive. Lao Tzu said that soft energy can overcome rigidity, and understanding tolerance is often more powerful than blindly being strong.
The mother's unique gentleness and tolerance can allow children to develop a generous way of dealing with others, such children are not sharp, and after stepping into society, they often have a strong ability to adapt. Children affected by mothers, the degree of mental health after adulthood is also much higher than the average, career development, interpersonal relationships are relatively stable, not easy to appear violent changes.
Nowadays, the education of children is not enough to rely on school education alone, and fathers and mothers are the ones who affect the child's life. In family education, both the father and the mother are indispensable, and which side is missing may cause an imbalance in the development of the child.
Therefore, every father and mother must give full play to their own strengths and give their children the best education where they are good at. Only in this way can children develop in an all-round way, so that children can fly high or far, and have a successful and happy life.
(This article is transferred from the classic guide, the copyright belongs to the original author, if there is infringement, please contact us to deal with)
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