Some parents advocate free-range with children, do not put pressure on children, let children grow naturally, they feel that dead reading will stifle children's creativity, do not approve of winning at the starting line, do not approve of cram school advanced education, only tell children: learn, you try your best.
But what about the factual results? Children are not interested in anything, let alone learning. The whole day is play, there is no planning for the future, no goals, no motivation to learn.
In fact, no matter how the child behaves, it is a complicity with the parents, and it is also caused by the potential desires of the parents, even if the children ultimately achieve nothing. The parents of the free-range baby are not really asking for nothing, his real wish is: he hopes that the child will not be bound by external reasons, can have his own unique personality, and does not need the best learning, as long as it is not at the bottom. However, when parents hope that their children will grow up naturally, they do not tell them which direction they can go, that is because the parents themselves have not thought well, and the parents are also very conflicted.
If in the environment in which the child lives, no one restricts him or pushes him, it is not actually free growth, but putting the child into a vacuum environment, and the child is always floating aimlessly in it, which does not allow him to grow normally.
Parents will interfere with their children's lives no matter what they do, so parents themselves must think about what they expect from their children, and what do you want their children to do? Instead of proving that I am an enlightened parent, I tell others: I have no high requirements for my children, no requirements for my children's grades, and I can accept whatever he wants. This makes the child feel the meaning of their own efforts, there is no sense of need, they will also feel very confused, parents have no freedom when they are young, so they hope that the child is more free, so they do not say anything, let the child go, resulting in the child has no direction, confused, this is actually still interfering in the child's life, but the parents do not realize it.
One is that parents make decisions for their children and do not allow them to resist, and the other is that parents give their children absolute freedom to do what they want and do, and parents give up their right to speak.
And the real freedom is relative, it is necessary to win through hard work and resistance, that is to say, parents can have expectations and requirements for their children, but they cannot impose their own expectations on their children, parents are free, children can also be free to choose, can go to resist, at this time the child is really free.