Recently, Bai Baihe's new drama "Our Marriage" is on the air, and the marriage and workplace in the play have resonated with many people.
In this drama, Shen Yanxing, played by Bai Lily, is a highly educated full-time housewife, which is the focus of the whole drama.
However, Bai Baihe, as the heroine, was sprayed in this drama, and many people felt that she was self-righteous and unrealistic, and she did not look like a Kochi woman at all.
Many people in the barrage complained:
This woman has to leave anyone, and it is best not to get married.
The heroine is too self-righteous.
The heroine is too idealistic.
In fact, marriage itself is like a person drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge. Many times, what we try to give to each other may not be what the other party wants, and it may even be that the other party is very resistant.
Running a marriage is a science in itself. The pain and suffering that Bai Lily experienced in the play has in common with many real-life wives.
Today, on some of the truths about marriage reflected in this TV series, Xue Lejun would like to borrow the stories of the three couples in the play to share three points of thinking with everyone.
Equally matched love, one person struggles not to come
Shen Yanxing, played by Bai Baihe, and Sheng Jiangchuan, played by Tong Dawei, are a couple in the TV series. Both were former high-achieving students at top universities.
After marriage, Shen Yanxing worked as a full-time wife at home in order to take care of her children, and her husband Sheng Jiangchuan continued to work hard in the workplace.
Six years have passed, and the long-term separation from society has made Shen Comet feel more and more that his self-worth is not reflected, and his children have begun to attend primary school. She plans to re-enter the workforce and make a career.
But Shen's idea, Sheng Jiangchuan did not support.
Shen Believes that when the economy is shared, the responsibility should also be shared. The problem of picking up and dropping off children is a problem that two people need to face together.
But Sheng Jiangchuan, who has been working hard in the workplace, does not think so, he feels that even if his wife goes out to work, she should focus on the family. Balancing family and career is a woman's problem, so the responsibility of taking care of the children should also fall on the wife.
Although, later, Shen Yanxing went out to work, Sheng Jiangchuan also shared the work of picking up and dropping off the children. However, due to the inconsistent values of the two, there are more and more contradictions between the husband and wife.
Until one time, Sheng Jiang Chuan was unable to pick up the child because of his work, which led to the child being almost kidnapped. The contradiction between the two was on the verge of erupting, and Shen Yanxing proposed a divorce.
Shen Yanxing filed for divorce, and I was not surprised.
Balancing family and career is a problem that most women face in the workplace, but it's an unspoken rule of inequality.
Home is the home of the husband and wife, the child is the crystallization of the love of the two people, why does it become the wife's business to take care of the family and children.
In many traditional ways, the husband should be the master and the wife should be the secondary in a family. If the husband can earn money to support the family, the wife does not have to toss, and is at ease to take care of the children at home.
But Shen Yanxing is not a traditional woman, she is the same as her husband, she has the same level of education. She has always insisted on a rival love, she does not feel that a woman is married, she can only be a vice, even if she used to take care of the children at home for six years, she never felt inferior in the family.
It's just that the right idea sometimes requires like-minded people to realize.
In the TV series "Xiao Shede", also starring Tong Dawei, Nan Li and Xia Junshan are a couple, and the two have a pair of children.
In life, Xia Junsheng never felt that taking care of the children was his wife's responsibility. His wife was not available, he took the initiative to pick up and drop off the children; the children's grades declined, and he took leave to tutor the children himself.
Because of her husband's reasonableness, even if both of them work hard in the workplace. Nan Li also never needs to face the problem of balancing family and career alone.
The husband and wife are in step with each other, and the relationship is naturally harmonious.
Marriage, like two people dancing together, only one person works hard, it is impossible to dance a good dance.
Love that has always been equal in strength has always been mutually accomplished.
Self-sacrificing marriages cannot move others
The other wife in the play, Jiang Jing, played by Cao Xiwen, is also a full-time mother, and every day her life is around her children and husband, but the days when her palms are down, let her live a very humble life.
I want my parents to travel abroad, I don't have any money, and I don't dare to ask my husband. Just in order to let her parents have the opportunity to travel abroad, she deliberately made difficult moves in the yoga class to make her sprain herself. This allows parents to go abroad on the grounds that they are taking their sons out to play.
Jiang Jing's marriage is a one-man show
。
In her own play, she is a victim and a guest of reason.
Finding that her husband was chatting with other women, Jiang Jing was not looking for her husband to confront, nor was she questioning the woman, she just judged the situation, rationally analyzed it, and then quietly hid this matter in her heart, just like those unsatisfactory things in the past.
For Jiang Jing's understanding and virtuousness, her husband did not appreciate it. For him, the wife is just a mother who needs to take care of the children, and is a free nanny.
Jiang Jing's living state is the epitome of many full-time wives. If you don't understand your husband's work, you can't enter your husband's circle.
Without a job, the purpose of life is to treat their husbands as bosses and serve carefully.
However, unlike ordinary employees, ordinary employees have the opportunity to jump ship, but they are always worried about being fired by their bosses.
In the program "Spring Day Is Late and Departure Again", Wu Yating talked about her previous marriage and cried. That long-gone marriage made her full of reluctance and memories.
A woman who has two children in five years for a man has also miscarried once. Even if the husband goes out to shoot a scene the day after he gives birth, even if he has postpartum depression, he is still determined to be the woman behind his husband.
This is not something that can be interpreted by a simple word of love.
But even if you sacrifice yourself in this way, in exchange for your good, we are not suitable.
"You have worked hard all these years, you are a competent good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, thank you for bringing my life to no light, thank you for letting me have the two most lovely babies in the world..."
Such a high degree of praise, however, occurred in the divorce declaration.
Self-sacrificing marriage, in addition to touching yourself, can not move others.
A woman's composure can never be exchanged for "fulfillment".
Men may marry a woman because she is gentle and considerate, but they will never fall in love with her because she is sensible and stoic.
Many times, we always think that it is the scumbag who makes us have no way to go, in fact, the one who makes us suffer and has no way out may be ourselves.
Putting all her chips on a man is a risky thing in itself.
We're just getting married, there's no need to make ourselves cheap because we're married. You must know that when you don't care about yourself and blindly give everything you have, how can others love you?
The sense of identification with the other party is the most important cornerstone of marriage
In "Our Marriage", there is also the couple of Dong Sijia and Li Yuwen, who are the marriage model outside the female protagonist and the male protagonist.
They were originally dual-career families, because the nanny they hired was unreliable and hurt the children. The two discussed, personally took the child, considering the problem of economic income, Li Yuwen returned to the family and became a full-time father.
Li Yuwen did not resist being a stay-at-home father. He felt that being able to take care of the children and share the burden for his wife was a two-pronged approach.
But Dong Sijia, she wants her husband to take care of the children and avoid her own worries. But from the bottom of my heart, I can't agree with my husband's job as a full-time father.
When we say that women are independent, we can't always jump out of the circle of male-dominated and female-supplemented.
Dong Sijia, who is a successful woman in the workplace, is the same.
Dong Sijia never talked about family affairs in the company, she did not want her colleagues to know about her husband, she thought that her husband did not work at home with children, which made her very humiliated.
So when the boss suggested that she take her husband to the venture capital sword festival, although she happily agreed, she decided to participate alone at the last moment.
Li Yuwen inadvertently saw the invitation letter that Dong Sijia had placed next to the bed, and he was a little unhappy with his wife's approach.
Many people see that one party in a family does not go out to work, and if there is a conflict between husband and wife, they feel that the full-time party cannot keep up with the pace.
In fact, mom full-time, dad full-time is not the source of marital conflict. The root of the contradiction is the lack of identity.
The party who goes out to work does not see the other half giving up their careers and returning to the family to become a full-time mom (dad).
A good marriage requires mutual respect and understanding. I can see your sadness in the middle of the night, and you know the bitterness of my laughter and laughter with my wine glass.
Lee Seung-hyun used to be a full-time dad, and during his time with his children, he was also depressed, but he quickly adjusted. He said that he could come out of this way, and his wife's credit was great.
For her husband to be a full-time father, Qi Wei has never looked down on her, but she feels that it is precisely because of her husband's efforts that she can continue to pursue her dreams.
She confessed her gratitude to her husband. His wife's sense of identity gave Li Chengxuan a lot of motivation.
In every marriage, between every couple, there is never anyone who should pay a little more than anyone. For the party that has been silently giving, we should know how to be grateful.
Between husband and wife, the sense of identification with each other is the most important cornerstone of marriage
"Our Marriage" presents various marital states of the moment.
An inclusive society allows all kinds of marital states to exist, whether it is the female protagonist, the male protagonist outside, or the female protagonist outside, the male protagonist, or the male and female are both inside the male and female.
It doesn't say which marriage is more long-lasting, and the fit is most important.
Sticking to a career and giving up work to temporarily return to the family is not the one that seems more noble.
There are many things in marriage that do not need to be argued, just need to be understood.
In fact, in real life, those who live happily in marriage are often those who see the truth of marriage and still work hard to run the marriage.
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