Do you really praise children? Why do some children boast more and more great, while others have no effect?
Why do some children boast more and more great, while others have no effect? An exaggerated formula is easily solved
Now many parents know that children should boast more, can not always criticize, so the rainbow farts flying all over the sky, but some work, some are useless, and even some children kick their noses in the face, becoming only able to listen to good words, and can't stand a word of criticism.
Why is it that the same praise for children, but your children are not good?
Praise the child don't step on these 3 pits
1, always like to use "but".
For example, son, it's great that you finished your homework on time today, but it would be even better if you could write your homework a little better.
The phrase "praise + but" is best not used.
The first half of the sentence makes the child very happy, and a "but" will directly clear his good mood.
Because the subtext of "but" is that you're not good enough, I'm not particularly happy with you.
But you may say that children do have all kinds of problems, and I can't always open my eyes and talk nonsense, just praise and not criticize.
If you really need to point out your child's problems, you may wish to use the sentence pattern backwards, first degrading and then praising.
In other words: Son, if you can write a little bit better, but today you completed your homework on time, compared to usual, a lot of progress, mom is very happy!
2. Praise is general and empty.
Give everyone a multiple choice question.
The child completed the roller coaster manual assignment assigned by the science teacher. How do you compliment your child when you ask you to look at his homework?
A : Wow, you're awesome!
B: I am so proud of you that you have completed such a difficult homework independently without the help of your mother!
C : Your roller coaster tracks are so well designed, you are very talented in design, I really want to ride on the roller coaster you designed!
Which way would you choose to compliment your child?
Wow, you're awesome!
But such praise for the child is very empty, and the child cannot get accurate feedback.
The child only knows that you approve of him, but does not know which specific point he is doing well, so it is impossible to continue to work the specific point.
Relatively speaking, options B and C are more specific.
B praised the child's independence.
C praised the child's design talent.
The next time your child does his homework, he will naturally reinforce the point you praise, and get better and better in terms of independence or design ideas.
3. Praise is the same.
It is common for people to like to listen to good words, whether it is an adult or a child.
But if you always praise people from the same point of view, no matter how good it sounds, it will also make people aesthetically tired.
If you want to praise the idea, you must see the child first.
To see the uniqueness of the child, to see the shining points that the child himself has not found.
In the field of education, there is a very famous teacher named Wei Shusheng.
He had led one of the worst classes in the school, and the children in this class all felt that they were bad and had no strengths. But as soon as this Teacher Wei went to the class, he praised everyone.
He first asked the students, our Class 8 students go to school every day, sit there, can they understand mathematics?
The students replied: I don't understand!
Teacher Wei asked again, what about physics?
The students replied: I don't understand!
Teacher Wei continued: Physics does not understand chemistry, do not understand English, students, we can't understand anything, but our Class 8 students sit here every day to listen to the lessons, what a tenacious will honed over time!
Seeing what children can't see, helping them to discover their own strengths and redefine themselves is the praise of the high rank.
A formula teaches you to boast your child to take off
This formula can be used not only in parenting, but also in the workplace and in our intimate relationships.
This formula is, evaluation + detail + comparison.
For example, a child's essay has improved a lot.
Well, according to this formula is.
Evaluate first, it is best to be a shining point that the child has not found.
You can say: Wow, son, your essay is very literary and has made great progress.
Next, add details, the more detailed the better.
You can say: I especially like this sentence you quote in this begonia: Begonia does not hesitate to carmine, independent in the drizzle. Not a lot of words, not a lot of words, just the right amount!
Finally, make a comparison: when your mother is as old as you, she is far less well written than you.
Moms and Dads use this formula more often in the parenting process, which will make your child more and more awesome.
Hello everyone, I am a worm mother, a multi-platform original parenting blogger, a middle-aged girl who fights wits and courage with an 8-year-old naughty child every day, focusing on sharing dry parenting goods, and an ordinary mother's social life observation. Pay attention to [bug mother parenting], I am not alone on the road to parenting.