Because feelings have a stage of development.
When we first got together, we were full of strangeness, and the feelings would enter the passionate period of your and my nong, fresh and sweet, and the two people had endless words to explore what kind of person the other person was. This stage does not even need to be maintained, relying on inertia, feelings can move forward.
Can enter the run-in period, the differences between each other begin to reflect, will compete for rights, the right to speak. If one is strong and one is weak, it will form a mode of getting along with "demand-obey" or "chase-escape"; if both people are very strong, they will begin to argue with each other and not give in to each other, which will form a mode of "confrontation and conflict".
At this stage, if two people can't build a harmonious mode of getting along, can't solve the conflict, the contradiction will expand, complaining, doubting, pain, struggle, disappointment, grievances and negative emotions all hit, many people can't survive this run-in period and break up.
After surviving the run-in period, the feelings will enter a flat period. Passions fade, you live a procedural life, you become speechless, and even the conversation revolves around money and children. You have no physical contact, no hugs, no kisses, and no desire to communicate.
At this time, there will be two situations, either plain love, the days will pass as usual, he works, comes home, will help raise children, or plain and plain without love, you will feel particularly lonely, do not feel a trace of his love for you.
At this stage, many couples and marriages are difficult to survive. Even if you try to build a sense of freshness, you can't beat a new person, even if that person is nothing like you, your partner may ask for it, chat with her to share the daily life, but you don't even have the desire to share. At this stage, cheating is particularly prone.
The itch of seven years, the itch is the ripples after too flat, the desire is not satisfied, want to try new possibilities. It is not that you have no love for each other, but that you have fallen asleep.
At this stage, the emotional connection between you and your partner will be particularly weak, playing their respective roles in the relationship, maintaining the operation of the family, no close emotional communication, usually no interaction, losing intimate contact, and not sharing their lives, resulting in two people not feeling each other's love.
To change this state, it is necessary to go deep into how two people communicate on a daily basis, and whether they often use negative communication methods to cause each other to close the door to communication.
You also need to see how two people interact on a daily basis, whether it is when your partner wants to do emotional interaction with you, you do not give feedback to your partner, or both parties have no sense of interaction at all, only caring about what they want to do, which causes two people to lose the flow of emotions.
Therefore, changing your own communication style, interaction style, and the other half to shape the emotional communication and interaction mode, in order to break the state of the emotional dull period, re-cultivate the love in your marriage.