Author: Xuan Xiaolei
Figure: Network, if there is infringement, please contact to delete
▼
In this era, mate selection has no specific sensitive line, and is relatively free and relaxed.
So sister and brother love or love uncle, is not a thing. As long as the parties are in agreement, others will basically not discuss or spread gossip.
This situation of large age gaps has become a common and normal thing.
In the sister-brother relationship, there used to be a lot of one year old and two years old, and now there are ten or twenty years older, and they are basically acceptable.
The little girl is in love with the uncle, as long as the uncle is single, basically they can be together smoothly, without much obstacle.
However, when the age gap is too large, there must be precautions for getting along. It's good that others don't care or are interested in discussing, but you can't ignore some details, or think clearly before making a decision.
These details are about energy, about whether the three views and temperament match.
When I watched "Please Advise Me for the Rest of My Life", I suddenly remembered this.
The male protagonist Gu Wei is about 10 years older than the female protagonist Lin Zhixue, and according to the younger love pattern of the male elderly woman, the man is ten years older than the problem.
But when I saw them in conflict, I suddenly felt that if we were about the same age as each other, would it be easier and more pleasant to talk about love?
After all, sometimes there is a gap between the ages, it is difficult to coordinate and fully understand each other, and even the living habits are far apart.
Of course, if two people are in love, these problems are not a problem.
Afraid of any problem when in love can be solved together, can be accepted, accommodating, commiscious, tolerant, spoiled, but what will happen after the love?
Just like Gu Wei, when he had a conflict with the patient's family in the hospital, his way of dealing with it was to escape, thinking that Lin Zhixue wanted to go abroad to have a dream, so he couldn't influence her to delay her, and he wanted to handle things well and then tell her. However, he did not think clearly about how to deal with it for a while, nor did he want to face it directly.
In short, it is relatively gentle, subtle, and reclusive.
This is probably also the state of many adults, the work is already very tired, suddenly encounter some grievances against themselves, they feel more tired, lazy to explain and clarify, or easy to take the opportunity to decadent and quiet and then carry themselves.
However, Lin Zhixue was like a sun that had just risen, enthusiastic, enthusiastic, as if his whole body was full of strength, so after knowing why Gu Wei was cold to himself, he would run to find him and scold him.
Her way is to face the problem, solve the problem, do not escape, do not hesitate, look brave and fearless, full of strength.
Putting aside each other's personalities, the performance of these two people is a psychological difference between a young and a mature. Young people are energetic, and they prefer to rampage in case of trouble or life, which is a state of "newborn calves are not afraid of tigers".
However, more mature people will think about things before and after, consider and worry more, and at the same time, it is easy to become absolutely rational and calm because they have seen or experienced too many dark sides of the world, so as not to rush to express their attitudes or conclusions about things, and even sometimes believe that things will pass as soon as they are put aside, just like "do not force with fate", that is, relatively "Buddhist" mentality.
To sum up, it is one fast and one slow, one moving and one static, one urgent and one fixed.
And not only psychologically, but also in life.
The younger one, most of them have more energy to play to the show, while the older one, most of them are tired of it after the cooperation, and they don't want to keep the mood all the time.
Therefore, before falling in love with people with a much larger age gap, check or adjust your state and psychology to see if the differences between the two people can be tolerated and accommodated.
For example, young people like sports, like to sleep late, like to play here and there and be happy.
And the older person may prefer to be quiet, enjoy loneliness, and have experienced life precipitation and polishing, so they are relatively introverted.
If these gaps cannot be compromised and changed by each other, they will continue to cause contradictions and conflicts. Of course, when you first get together, you don't think so much, then any difference will adapt, to cater, to understand, to respect, and even to try to change yourself to meet each other's needs.
For example, Gu Wei and Lin Zhixue, one compromised for the sake of each other and accepted spicy heavy tastes, and the other accepted the other party's proposal to ask for a light diet. In order to be together, it seems that anything different can be accepted.
But this is the period of hot love, but also a drama novel, in reality, the age gap is like a generation gap, living habits are different, a short period of time can be accommodated and tolerated, and a long time may also be bored with each other. Of course, this is not the most important, after all, people of the same age have been together for a long time, and they will have different needs to accept and tolerate.
The important thing is the difference in the three views, the difference in personality, this kind of thing is difficult to run into and change, when in love can be temporarily suppressed and ignored, but after that, you will feel that there is really no way to accept each other's way of doing things and for human nature.
Therefore, when choosing an object, you can not care about the age difference, but the difference between concept and psychology should still be paid attention to, otherwise it is also contradictory together, and eventually it may be unhappy.