Talk to your mother on the phone and listen to your mother talk about the parents in your hometown.
Speaking of the neighbor Mei Jie, after three months of remarriage, she began to divorce, and after half a year, she went through the divorce procedures and returned to her mother's house with her children. The mother's family feels that Sister Mei's second marriage has also broken down, it must be the daughter's own problem, a person with a child to live in the mother's home, older and divorced twice, the future life is sad.
The mother and daughter did not talk less about this, and Sister Mei later moved out of her mother's house with her children and rented a house in the town alone.
Speaking of the reasons for Mei Jie's divorce, it is similar to the first marriage, the husband has some mother-in-law male characteristics, the mother-in-law does not like her, she is not accustomed to the mother-in-law, every time the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrel with the husband, she will count her.
In addition, the couple often quarreled over trivial matters. When the child disobeys the husband and yells twice, Sister Mei feels that her husband does not treat her child as her own child; occasionally the husband goes to see his ex-wife and children, and it costs a little more money to buy things, and it takes half a day; the husband's salary card is not handed in, and Sister Mei is rolling around for this.
In short, the second marriage is not much better than the first marriage, and even new problems arise one after another.
In fact, like Mei Jie, there are not a few women who remarry and divorce not long ago.
Women who have been divorced once, when faced with new feelings, although their insecurity increases and they are afraid of being hurt, they are more looking forward to meeting Ruyi Langjun than those who are first married.
Therefore, once you meet a man who is good to her and makes her feel excited, it is easy to lose reason and fall into the vortex of love.
If you want to have a long-term, stable intimate relationship, give remarried women a piece of advice: Before getting married, think clearly about three things.
First thing: You have to understand that it's hard for the other person to treat your child as if they were biological
The biggest conflict between remarried couples is the question of children – can you treat my children like biological children? Can you treat your children and my children fairly? Can you do the role of father or mother?
People who have watched the TV series "Family with Children" should know that Liu Mei is a qualified stepmother, and from the moment she became husband and wife with Xia Donghai, Liu Mei was actively adjusting her relationship with Xiaoxue and playing the role of a mother.
In the face of Xiao Xue's hostility, Liu Mei has always been a good-tempered persuasion, washing and cooking to appease, even if Xiao Xue has a cold attitude towards Liu Mei and constantly picks up on the food, Liu Mei also smiles and greets each other, and never shows impatience.
In the treatment of biological children and non-biological children, Liu Mei has always been biased towards "other people's" children, how to count Down Liu Xing is no problem, but Xiaoxue and Xiaoyu have to boast.
It is also Liu Mei's good attitude and high emotional intelligence that has brought her relationship with Xiaoxue closer, allowing Xiaoxue to slowly accept this stepmother, during this period, Liu Mei's painstaking efforts may be beyond the reach of ordinary people.
In real life, most people can't be as patient, patient, and emotionally intelligent as Liu Mei, and the stepmother can't do it, and the stepfather can't do it.
Talking about treating your child as if it were your own child, it really happened, your child is yours, my child is mine, and it is clearly distinguished.
The first thing you must think clearly about is that you are looking for your future partner, and this person is going to spend the rest of your life hand in hand with you.
Don't fantasize about finding a qualified father for your child, because it is difficult for the other party to treat your child as a biological child. Moreover, children have their own biological fathers.
There is a selfish side to the weaknesses of human nature, and if you don't understand this, once you find that your other half is impatient with your children and can't accept it, then the marriage is bound to go on.
Second thing: You may have the same problems as your last marriage
The other thing that divorced women choose to remarry is that they encounter similar problems to the previous marriage and end up divorcing in the end, so they are cautious and bold in choosing who to remarry.
Caution is because they dare not easily agree to men's pursuit, in the face of men who take the initiative to confess, their first reaction may be to escape, if men persist in pursuing, slowly, they will open the door of their hearts.
The boldness is because they tend to choose men who are completely different from their predecessors in choosing who to marry, thinking that this will avoid marriage tragedies.
Caution is not excessive, bold but prone to error.
A person's growth environment, personality, hobbies, etc., determine who you will attract and fall in love with, which is actually doomed.
So, it's almost impossible to choose a man who is completely different from your ex, and if you go through marriage, you'll always find similarities between your current and ex.
Even if you really choose someone who is the complete opposite of your ex, you may be able to live a chicken life in your marriage. Because you didn't figure out why your last marriage failed, but instead learned the wrong lessons from it.
The failure of marriage is not that you have chosen the wrong person, nor that you are inappropriate, but that you do not know how to deal with problems in marriage and do not know how to resolve contradictions.
Without understanding this, you will still have the same problems as your last marriage.
Just like the aforementioned sister Mei of the neighbor's family, the trigger for the divorce of the first marriage was the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the second marriage was already like this. In the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, men are the key, and women must also know how to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in order to grasp men's hearts.
Before a woman remarries, she must think clearly about this matter - when you encounter similar problems to the previous marriage again, can you properly handle it without affecting the relationship between husband and wife?
The third thing: Building stable intimacy requires more effort
I often tell readers that when two people have problems in their marriages, from love to non-love, from you and me to each other, it must not be the problem of one person, but two people in marriage have problems.
Chinese people generally lack the ability to deal with intimate relationships, love to death and live when they love, wait until the passion fades, but they do not know how to face the feelings of plain water, let alone how to maintain the freshness of feelings.
The third thing a woman must think clearly before remarrying is – what is the difference between love and marriage? How can you build and maintain stable and long-lasting intimate relationships?
If you just want to live your life with your initial passion, you will be disappointed.
Because in the long river of life, no one is unchanged, and seeking stability in change is the most important thing to do.
Life is flowing, feelings are also flowing, maintaining intimate relationships is a lifelong learning course, and couples make no less effort than raising children.
Communication is a bridge, expressing love is everyday, knowing how to praise is a surprise, and inclusive understanding is a skill... More importantly, be sure to update your "love map" in a timely manner, such as: how your partner's interests and hobbies are different from before, what things the other party has paid more attention to recently, what new changes have emerged in the marriage, and so on.
The more couples know each other, the easier it is to become intimate. These are not something that can be done by saying a few words "I love you", but we need to pay more attention to our partners in our daily life and give them love and support.
Any couple who supports each other to the old, the feelings are not achieved overnight, they will quarrel when they are young, only by constantly running in and tolerating each other can they spend a long life together.
Before remarrying, the above three things women must think clearly, otherwise they may regret it.
When you feel that your marriage is unhappy, when you constantly ask why you can't meet the right person, you may wish to think about what efforts you have made for marital happiness, and whether you have figured out what marriage is and what happiness is.
Today's Topic:
What do you think women need to think clearly before they remarry?
Flowers say emotions: Focus on interpreting the emotional problems of marriage, and give you comfort and warmth in the hustle and bustle of the world