When I first came into contact with love in the past, because I didn't know much about such things, many business methods were completely carried out according to my own understanding.
At that time, I didn't understand so much, but I just felt that two people were together because they liked, so what was built on top of likes was love, and what men needed was love.
Therefore, we cling to each other every day, don't think about anything, only put all our time and energy on love, put it on men, and invest 100% of our energy.
But in the end, we still can't stop men from leaving their own steps, we are confused, we don't even understand what we have done wrong, only to let the other party leave themselves.
Later, when I grew up, I learned some psychological knowledge, and I also met all kinds of people, and I understood that love is far less simple than we think.
In a relationship between the sexes, sooner or later you will understand that in the hearts of men, what is most needed is never love.
In men's hearts, what they need most is actually a sense of freedom to be respected
Although the people involved in any relationship are different, they are the same way, and their essence is two intersecting circles.
Outside of the intersection of these two circles, we exist independently of each other, and we can follow our inner thoughts in this field;
Within the intersection of these two circles is the part where we overlap with each other.
Many times, we feel that since two people have established a relationship, they are very close people.
Over time, we will take it for granted that the other person is our own property, and no matter what we do, the other party must accept and tolerate, otherwise we will not love ourselves.
And every time you think you don't care about crossing the line like this, you are actually sticking a needle in the other person's body.
Because we overlooked the fact that couples get along more like two diamonds with smooth faces.
When we are together, everything is seamless, but in fact, we are not completely glued together, and apart we will be independent individuals.
Therefore, since it is an independent individual, it is necessary to maintain a certain distance, it is necessary to retain a certain sense of proportion, and it is necessary to respect the feelings of the other party, rather than being self-righteous and too self-sufficient.
Men don't want much, and the sense of freedom to be respected is enough for them to experience the comfort and ease that comes from love.
People do not have physical and mental pleasure, only then can they have the motivation to continue to operate.
In the man's heart, what is most needed is actually the sense of existence that is needed
In fact, for men, their most basic need in a relationship is the sense of existence that is needed.
They like independent women, but they don't like women who are too independent.
Because women who are too independent, they can do everything themselves, which will make men feel that their presence in this relationship is dispensable.
There is no essential difference between having or not having a self, and even if there is no self, women can still run their own lives.
Such a marginal state can make men lose confidence in continuing to run the relationship and slowly will only want to end it.
Therefore, in order to avoid such a situation, we must satisfy the sense of value that men are needed.
So, in what way should we be satisfied?
The simplest way is actually to "trouble" the other party.
The things that could have been solved by themselves were "disguised" without the power of the chicken to seek the help of men.
In this way, we can reduce our burdens, and men are happy because their sense of existence is satisfied.
This way of having the best of both worlds is the magic weapon for us to deal with our feelings.
In men's hearts, what they need most is actually the comfort of being cared for
Gu Tingye in the TV series "Do You Know It or Not" once said that if the other party marries himself, he does not need to be patient, and since then he is the oldest in the pile of men, and Sheng Minglan is the oldest in the pile of women.
In fact, Gu Tingye also did it.
He gave Minglan a blatant favoritism and asked her for a commandment that gave her supreme honor.
Of course, the feelings between their husband and wife are by no means unilaterally maintained by Gu Tingye alone.
When Gu Tingye was thrown into prison, many people advised Sheng Minglan to leave, even Gu Tingye, after all, they did not want Sheng Minglan to be involved.
But Sheng Minglan was unwilling, it was Gu Tingye who protected himself in the past, and this time, he should also let himself protect Gu Tingye's thoughtfulness.
Because of Sheng Minglan's true feelings, the seven-foot boy Gu Tingye was also moved to tears.
In fact, what men want is so simple.
The love that is remembered in the heart is far more precious than all the rare treasures in this world.
Hu Xueyan once said: "If you are willing to play umbrellas for others, others are willing to take umbrellas for you." When everyone has no umbrella on a rainy day, they can help people cover some rain. This is also the magic way that I will not get wet even if I don't have an umbrella when it rains. "No matter who you are with, only love that goes in both directions can last long."