● Guangzhou listen and speak bar marriage psychological counseling introduction
In family life, many men and women will encounter the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and when there is a contradiction and misunderstanding between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many men will feel that it is the problem of the wife, thinking that the wife as a junior is not respectful, tolerant, and tolerant of the elders, intentionally or unintentionally to protect the parents, reprimand the wife, in order to calm the contradiction.
However, this kind of treatment often cannot really resolve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but will make the wife feel hurt, accumulate more anger and grievances in her heart, and over time, she will not be able to help but erupt.
Guangzhou heard about the interpretation of marriage psychological counseling: my husband's foolish filial piety and indifference make me feel very uncomfortable, I feel that I can't go on, what to do?
●Lady Zhang
"My husband and I have been married for three years and my son has just turned one year old. We met each other on a blind date at the time, although he was not particularly good, but he was very kind and accommodating to me, and considering that his age was not small, he decided to get married after half a year of dating.
But after getting married, I found that my husband was a very foolish and filial man, who did not distinguish between right and wrong, did not distinguish between right and wrong, and favored his mother-in-law everywhere.
During pregnancy, due to different living habits and parenting concepts, my mother-in-law often contradicted me, commanded me, and asked me to listen to her.
At first I endured, once I really couldn't help it, retorted, the mother-in-law was instantly aggrieved, and my husband slapped me indiscriminately after seeing it, so we had a cold war for more than half a month.
Every day when I see my mother-in-law, my heart is very depressed, very uncomfortable, very angry, and I dare not say half a word of her, because no matter how my husband is on the side of my mother-in-law.
Later, the mother-in-law said that she could not adapt to life in the big city and offered to move back to the countryside. I thought that the good days were finally coming, but my husband was very guilty about his mother-in-law's return.
He thought that my mother-in-law had a bad attitude when she came home and forced her away, so he was very angry with me. Since my mother-in-law moved back, my husband has been very cold to me, and there is some sarcasm in his words, and he has recently slept in a separate room with me.
For the sake of this family, for the sake of the children, I silently endured all this. What I can't stand is that he lost his job a few months ago and never went looking for a job. I am very anxious, my salary is not high, my son's milk powder, diapers, etc., this income is not enough to spend.
And every time I mentioned work to him, he complained that I had destroyed family harmony and wanted me to support my family alone.
My husband's appearance made me both disappointed and helpless, and I began to sigh secretly and mentally, which affected my work. Sometimes I think that if I don't divorce my son, and I don't have the ability and courage, my family won't support me.
But my husband's attitude makes me too uncomfortable, what should I do?
●Analysis of marital psychological counseling
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem that many families need to face and deal with. Both women love the same man, they can be allies, there will be competition, always to divide and rob this man's love.
Especially when they need to live under the same roof, even if they are "conscientious", there will always be friction. Contradictions are not terrible, and how to deal with these contradictions artistically is the key.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is essentially a struggle for rights
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which superficially occurs in some living habits, concepts, and trivial matters, is a struggle for "power" from a deep level.
Many mothers put all their energy into their children, accustomed to caring, paying attention to, and guiding their children's lives, even if the children are already in love and married, mothers can't help but interfere in all the children's affairs.
But all this will be replaced by another "strange" woman after the son gets married, which often stimulates the separation anxiety of the mother, and many mothers will be very uncomfortable with the state that the son does not need himself, and unconsciously want to have a place in the son's life.
In the mother-in-law conflict, the two women fight to the end, and all they want is: this "man" loves himself more, and his position in this man's heart is more important.
The mother wants to return to the situation where the son is attached to her only one woman; the wife wants to continue the scene where her husband pampers and says nothing about her in love.
Then, a battle for love is staged.
For the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law is not related by blood and is an outsider. Moreover, many mothers-in-law feel that their generations have improved after their sons get married, their family status should be higher, and it is natural for them to decide big and small matters.
But for the daughter-in-law, she and this man to establish a family, have children, she is the real hostess of this family, the mother-in-law to her own home is only a "guest".
"One mountain does not allow two tigers", two women in such a disagreement is easy to form a hostile relationship, resulting in the deterioration of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
As an elder, the mother-in-law's values have been deeply rooted for decades, and it is difficult to change her thoughts and concepts. Moreover, after all, the husband and the mother-in-law are mother-son relations, and they have been together for twenty or thirty years, and the relationship model has long been established.
If the daughter-in-law has too many attacks on the mother-in-law, such as: posing for faces, giving emotions, speaking harshly, complaining and accusing too much, and forcing the husband to side with her, it is inevitable that the husband will be disgusted and the relationship between husband and wife will become more and more distant.
If the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are calculating and fighting, the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is very poor, even if the daughter-in-law wins, the husband will be unhappy in his heart.
Therefore, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is either win-win, or the distance is farther away and they are polite to each other, and in other cases, it is basically the daughter-in-law who loses - loses the heart of her husband.
At present, Ms. Zhang's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is not good, the husband and wife are separated, and the husband is very resentful of her, and the marriage has fallen into a bad state. To improve the relationship between husband and wife, we need to start with improving the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If you expect your husband to return to his heart, try to "love the house and Wu", accept the mother-in-law, and accept their relationship.
In the days of the mother-in-law's later years, the husband is allowed to filial piety to the mother, the mother-in-law is happy, the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is relaxed, and the husband's inner resentment and depression will naturally decrease.
Career is the pillar of men's foothold in this world, and developing a good career will make men feel their value; developing a poor career will often make men gloomy or violent. At this point, the feelings of men and women are very different.
Unemployment is a big blow to men, but many men generally do not show anxiety, frustration, depression, etc. because of self-esteem, and prefer to stay alone in the low tide period.
Moreover, although there are various jobs now, the process of job search will also be repeatedly frustrated, and it is difficult to find your favorite immediately. As a result, many men behave decadently and depressed, suffering from unspeakable anxiety, depression and loneliness.
At this time, the warmth of the family and the understanding and support of the wife are very important for men. If at this stage is constantly pressured, accused, complained, and denied by the wife, the man will be more depressed, depressed, and even broken and broken, and the relationship between husband and wife will deteriorate.
If the wife can take the initiative to reconcile with her husband, give him a certain amount of space, time, and support and accompany him out of the depressed period, and regard unemployment as an opportunity for the husband and wife to "share happiness and hardship", after experiencing these, the husband and wife's feelings will become more solid.
● Guangzhou heard about the conclusion of marriage psychological counseling
The mother-in-law contradiction seems to be a war between two women, but it is actually a tug-of-war between three people.
If the relationship between husband and wife is broken due to the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and many methods have been tried to repair the relationship, you may wish to make an appointment with a professional marriage psychologist to help you repair the relationship, learn to balance family conflicts, and better manage the marriage.