Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
The biggest lie in marriage is that "women are actively leftovers, and men are passively leftovers." ”
There are three women in the community who are over 30 years old and have not yet been married, a high school teacher, a nurse, and a company white-collar worker.
Today, they are all dating each other, but the problem is that each time it ends in failure.
Blind dates are actually a very difficult thing for older men and women, and many people will walk into the cycle of high and low, and it just so happens that these three women are among them.
They can't look up to them, and they can't look up to them.
So year after year, year after year failed.
Neighbors comforted their parents and said: "Girls are actively left, they just have too high a vision, but if they lower their eyes, they will marry out a long time ago." ”
Remember, this is just a comforting word, not a fact.
Their marriage events are difficult to this point, how to take the initiative to say?
It's not that they don't want to get married, they want to get married, but they can't find a suitable partner.
In real life, many older leftover women are like this, and from this point it can be concluded that their remaining is not active, but has to be loved.
It is the "unmarried" who actively single
What is proactive? Initiative does not mean that you have been unable to find the right person and then have not been willing to do it, but that you have no intention of getting married from the beginning.
There is only one kind of person in this world who is actively single, and they are the legendary unmarried people.
This type of group of people didn't plan to get married in the first place, so they'll stay single forever.
Didn't get married in the past, didn't get married now, and won't get married in the future.
They took the initiative to choose the path of non-marriage and decided to go all the way to the end of their lives.
They will not be blind dates, let alone talk about marriage with others, and their current life is the result of independent choice.
Leaving aside the "unmarried", all the "remainders" are passive
Leftover men and leftover women and unmarried are two concepts, unmarried will not get married in this life, and leftover men and leftover women want to get married.
They want to get married but can't get married, and that's the result and the reality. Whatever the cause, whatever the process, they are passively leftover.
It's just that there is a slight gap in the passive remaining way.
No one chooses what is left.
On this point, many low-level men should be deeply aware.
Their conditions are relatively poor, such as not reading any books, so the education is relatively low, after entering the society can not find a good job, the monthly income can only barely solve the problem of food and clothing, there is no house and car under the name, in the blind date market is the lowest group of people.
It is very difficult for such people to get married, because many people are not willing to marry them at all, and they have no way to take on the responsibility of supporting their families.
This kind of group is the most pitiful group of passive singles, even if they have no requirements for the other half, they cannot enter the palace of marriage.
Most of these people are in the countryside, but there are only a small number of people in the cities.
Can't find the right one and left.
There is a group of people who cannot enter the marriage hall because they cannot find a suitable other half, and there are men and women in this group, regardless of gender.
It is not that they have never met the object of their affection, but that the object of their affection does not look at them at all.
High or low is not the root cause of what many older men and women are left with. On the one hand, they desperately want to enter the palace of marriage, on the other hand, they have not been able to find a suitable partner.
They want to have a family of their own, but they can't find a suitable partner, and this kind of person has been suffering from inner torment.
Whether no one chooses, or has not found a suitable object, they are forced to wait until they are still dating in their 30s, which is itself the ironclad evidence of passive remaining.
Xiao Meng has something to say:
"Leftover women are actively leftovers, while leftover men are passively leftovers."
At first, everyone felt that there was some truth in this statement, after all, there were tens of millions more men than women, and it was definitely easier for women than men if they wanted to get married.
But if you think about it, you feel that this logic itself is problematic, if it is really easy for them to get married, why are they still dating everywhere in their 30s?
It is undeniable that if a man marries, they are indeed very easy to marry, but the problem is that most women do not look up to the group of men selected by the appointment.
The man they want to marry is not a great fortune, but at least they must meet their inner needs.
But unfortunately, from their 20s to their 30s, after so many years, they have not found a satisfactory marriage partner.
But all the people who have been single so far because of the last resort are passively leftovers, they are a type of people, there is no high or low, and no one is better than anyone.
From this matter, everyone should understand a truth, leftover women have never been more noble than leftover men, on the contrary, they are equal themselves.
They are all a bunch of poor people who obviously yearn for marriage, but have been stopped from marriage.
Their relationship should not be antagonistic, but should be sympathetic, because they are a kind of person.
Original author of the Zhuang Di Xiaomeng/Emotional Column
May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled.