When parents educate their children, it is very important to instill ideas in their children, which is related to the direction of children's thinking later.
If parents instill the wrong thinking in their children, then the child's future may be very bad and become boring.
Frugality is a virtue, but crying poor is not
The economic conditions of Xiao Jun's family are relatively general, and after buying a house, the economic conditions of the family are a bit stretched.
Therefore, Xiao Jun's mother vigorously controlled the family's expenses, hoping to maximize her frugality.
However, it may be that the mother may not be very clear about the way to educate her children to be frugal, in order to let Xiaojun establish the concept of frugality, often say in front of Xiaojun that the family is poor, has no money and so on.
Because Of His young age, Xiao Jun is not very clear about some economic concepts, and under the influence of his mother, Xiao Jun feels that his family is very poor, he cannot buy anything, he has become very sensitive, and even has affected Xiao Jun's daily life.
For example, in order to save the expenses of the family, Xiaojun does not eat breakfast, picks up things that others do not want, etc., not only affects his own health, but also directly destroys the normal thinking of Xiaojun, making Xiaojun become very important to money and so on.
Frugality is indeed a virtue of our Chinese nation, but when parents educate their children, they cannot use the method of "crying poor" to let their children know how to be frugal. You know, crying poverty and frugality are basically two different things, if you instill the idea of crying poverty in your child, then the child is likely to become stingy, stingy, and slamming the door, which will cause irreparable negative effects on the child's life, learning, communication, and even future marriages.
[Correct approach]: Parents should not instill the idea of "the family is very poor", but should instill in their children the idea of "taking as needed and not wasting", so as to achieve the purpose of cultivating the child's frugal virtue.
Reasonable and sensible can be there, blind obedience is not advisable
Parents like obedient children, and So does Xiaodou's mother. When my mother usually educates Xiaodou, she hopes that Xiaodou can become a good child who is obedient and sensible.
Therefore, Xiaodou is often told to listen to the words of adults, to listen to the words of teachers, to listen to the words of XX, etc., and also to emphasize that do not go to the adults to talk back.
And Xiaodou was still a bit self-thinking, but after receiving her mother's "brainwashing" education for a long time, Xiaodou lost her own ability to think independently and became without the main heart, originally it was the parents who let xiaodou do what they did, and as a result, later, it can be said that as long as others say what xiaodou does, it seems to have become a puppet without a soul.
Children are obedient, but parents can not be in the process of education to wipe out the child's independent thoughts.
In terms of obedience and understanding, parents should focus on educating their children's "understanding", that is, to be able to correctly analyze and judge many things.
And "obedience" is only to guide children to establish a good learning attitude, the real meaning of "obedience" is to learn from the experience of others and do the right thing.
Therefore, the correct purpose of obedience and understanding should be to let children learn from others to improve their correct understanding of things, so as to strengthen their own ability.
However, many parents one-sidedly believe that obedience and understanding mean that children obey their own orders, and the result is very bad.
Let's imagine that a child has always obeyed the orders of his parents, so what should he do when he is alone?
He will have no own thoughts, uncertain things, can not make decisions, then his future will eventually be "ma bao male" or "giant baby", or will become a dry "social puppet", every day will only learn others to do things, completely unaware of what they were born, completely without life ideals and goals.
[Correct approach]: When educating children, we must avoid only instilling the idea of "obedience", but focus on "understanding things", so that children can establish correct concepts is the main purpose of education, so that children will become truly sensible children.
Good grades are important, but it's not all about children
The importance of academic performance to the future of children is self-evident, so many parents pay attention to their children's academic performance, but some parents have done a little too much, and regard academic performance as the "only" of their children.
Xiao Ke mother for Xiao Ke's academic performance is very important, usually after Xiao Ke goes home, her mother will immediately unload the school bag, pour water for the small can, etc., nothing to let xiao ke dry, xiao can do homework, Xiao Ke mother immediately adjusted the home to "silent mode", to the small can adjust the light environment, to keep the small can learn without interference.
In this way, Xiao Ke's mother seems to be very good to Xiao Ke, but if Xiao Ke scored 99 points in the exam, Xiao Ke's mother could not sit still, and as soon as Xiao Ke returned home, her mother would catch Xiao Ke and say how important it was to learn, how important learning would determine the future, etc., and it was also very strict to let Xiao Ke examine the wrong questions.
In short, her mother's attitude makes Xiao Ke feel that she only needs to study in this world, and academic performance is the only purpose of her life.
And we all know that during the study period, it is normal to have wrong questions, but Xiao Ke can't accept that he can't or have wrong questions, because this will make her mother very excited.
In this state for a long time, Xiao Ke's mental pressure is very large, and even because of this, he has had international ideas such as running away from home.
The impact of academic performance on a child's future is important, but academic performance is not all for children, because in addition to learning well, children also need to cultivate good character, healthy psychology, excellent ability and so on.
If you only pay attention to learning, then the child will be nothing more than an emotionless learning machine in the future, and only comprehensive development is the correct way of education.
[Correct approach]: Parents can not instill the idea of "learning is the only one", but to instill the idea of "learning is very important", so that children know that academic performance can have an important impact on their own development, but it is not that children are useless if they do not learn well.
Now the country has also issued relevant policies, may be in the future to learn good to go all-round development, learn bad to take the specialty of the profession, everyone has their own bright spots, academic performance does not represent everything for children.
epilogue
If you want your child to have a good time, you must instill the right thoughts in your child and don't let your ignorance harm your child.
(The pictures in this article are from the Internet, if there is infringement, please contact to delete)
【Transferred from: Sohu Original — C Mama Academy】