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Of my father's three brothers, my father and second uncle both worked as farmers in their hometown, and they were born and raised farmers.
Only the third uncle, who has a flexible brain since he was a child, joined the army when he was young, although he did not promote it, but he did increase a lot of knowledge. After returning to his hometown, my uncle started to do some business, and his life was better than that of both of us.
In the years when we were all young, every year during the Chinese New Year, because my grandparents were still alive, my father's three brothers would have a reunion. But every time I spend it at the third uncle's house, we children are also very happy, because going to the third uncle's house will not only be able to eat meat, but also give our juniors a small red envelope.
The third uncle has only one child, two years younger than me, who is my cousin.
In those days, which rural family was not a few children? Grandparents are always persuading the third uncle, why not have one more? It's a girl, in the future, when you are old, the two of them will also have a helper to take care of each other.
But the third uncle insisted on his own opinion, and told his grandparents very clearly that if he only gave birth to one child, he could concentrate all his energy on cultivating him, and he must be allowed to jump out of the farm.
That's what the third uncle said, and that's what he did. After our cousins started school, my cousin's grades were indeed the best in our generation, he won the first place all the year round, he could get a certificate of merit in every exam, and there were several books, which made us envious.
Later, it turned out that we had five cousins, except for my cousin, who went all the way from elementary school to high school and then went to college, and the highest education was me, and I only got a high school diploma. As for my brother and two cousins, they didn't even finish junior high school.
Of course, these are all fates, ten fingers of one pair are not the same length, even if they are brothers of the same mother, it is impossible for each of them to achieve the same achievements, let alone cousins?
My cousin went to college in another place, and I was the youngest of those who stayed at home, and I was closer to him, so our relationship was closer.
My cousin's study journey was almost smooth sailing, and after graduating from university, he was guaranteed a master's degree and then a doctorate, so it was natural that he stayed in the province to work.
Ever since my cousin really took root in the provinces, I wanted to take my parents over. After all, he is the only child in the family, and his father has sent him to read books for decades, and he should enjoy the blessings when he is old.
The third uncle and aunt did go to live in other provinces for several years, but they still came back every year for the New Year. At that time, my grandparents had passed away for many years, and we juniors had begun to start a family.
But as long as we return to our hometown, the third uncle still maintains the practice we did when we were children, and we go to his house for Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, and even those of us who are married and have children, the third uncle will still give a red envelope.
My cousin's wife is from their provincial capital, a city girl, and she never despises us mud-legged relatives, and she is also happy to chat with a few uncles, and she also gets along with our brothers.
Rural customs, the sophistication of human feelings is the most cumbersome thing. Since ancient times, when a family has something to do, there are ten families, and if there is any happy event in a village, the neighbors will take the initiative to help.
Just like when we were building a house when we were children, I still remember clearly that when my family built a house in 85, there was almost nothing in the house, but when I told everyone that we were going to build a house, my father went to the village and walked around house to house and asked everyone to come and help.
From the next day, the villagers would take the initiative to come and help, and after eating, they would go into the mountains to cut down trees, some to help dig the foundation, and some to help dig the wall soil.
In addition to spending very little money to buy some iron nails and lime, the wages are almost useless, and the villagers take the initiative to help.
In the process of building a house, the neighbors who have a good relationship will also send some vegetables from home, such as a basket of chili peppers for the east family, a handful of beans for the west family, and a few pieces of tofu if the conditions are good.
Of course, if someone else has something to do, we have to help too.
In this way, which family in the village has a big event, it has formed a habit of helping everyone. Especially for red and white ceremonies, set up a few tables of banquets, everyone goes to have a lively meal, and of course, gift money is indispensable.
Although in recent years, the amount of gift money has indeed gotten out of control and has been increasingly criticized, but in the end, no one can escape this practice.
It stands to reason that the third uncle's family is not in his hometown, and the red and white ceremonies in the village are not asked, which seems to be reasonable.
But the doctor's cousin sees this very clearly, every year when he goes home, he will put a sum of money in my hand, and explain to me a word, if there is any happy event at home in the villagers' house, I will send as much as you want.
At first, I was also a little puzzled, after all, no one's money fell from the sky, although my cousin studied for a doctorate, it was easier than us to get money, but there was no need to sprinkle water so much.
So, in the first two years, I would call him every time I needed to give a gift.
In less than two or three times, my cousin became a little impatient and told me directly: If you need to give a gift, you can send it directly, you don't need to ask again, if the money is not enough, you can cushion it first, and I will give it to you later.
Just like that, the third uncle and the third aunt lived in the province for fifteen years, and in the fifteen years, the red and white ceremonies in the village were accompanied by the ceremony, and the cousin never fell behind, and the name of the third uncle was still written in the gift book of each family.
Over the years, every time it is the New Year, my cousin will still accompany my parents back to my hometown. Like him, who is still a bit of an identity when he is away all the year round, returning to his hometown is like a different person.
He also wears the same "provincial clothes" as everyone else, and he doesn't smoke himself, and he always carries a pack of cigarettes in his pocket, and when he sees someone who smokes, he will send one, and the older one will go up to light a fire.
And my cousin also had a good relationship with several of our cousins. In the eyes of others, the identity of our generation is really far away, but my cousin never seems to feel anything.
Every time I came back, my cousin would go to my cousin's house and give me some small gifts. Of course, it was my house that came the most.
After all, since I was a child, I have the most harmonious relationship with him. The two brothers sat together, reminiscing about the troubles of their childhood, and talking about the gains and losses over the years. I often motivate my cousin to try to open up my horizons, especially in the cultivation of future generations, and to see further.
In fact, there is no need for him to say more at this time, the third uncle and his pearl jade are in front, aren't they also imperceptibly influencing us over the years?
It can be said that after so many years, in the eyes of the villagers, the cousin seems to have never gone far, and if there is something in the family, the person who arranged it will still think of the third uncle's family.
In 2017, the third uncle fell ill, and the old man lay on the hospital bed for more than half a year, and finally when the oil ran out and the lamp dried up, he refused to close his eyes.
Those of us who rushed to see each other for the last time were all in front of the bed, and in the end, my father took his hand and asked him if he had any wishes that he couldn't let go.
The third uncle said how much he wished he could rest in peace on the mountain in his hometown.
In order to fulfill the old man's last wish, the cousin took a long leave and drove the third uncle back by himself. After more than 1,000 kilometers of travel, the third uncle miraculously survived to his home and continued to hold on at home for another three days.
In those three days, almost all the villagers came to visit the sick, some caught an old hen, and some went to the river to catch some small fish and send them over.
Although it is not an unusual thing, they are trying their best to satisfy the last wish of the third uncle.
Four or five days later, the third uncle left in his hometown, and he walked very peacefully.
Hearing the firecrackers at the third uncle's house, the villagers took the initiative to come again, in full accordance with our local custom of "red things are not invited, white things are uninvited" rules.
The 76-year-old father also took the initiative to take on the responsibility of the principal, in fact, over the years, after Father Ming got older, there was rarely a chance for him to come out.
In recent years, great changes have taken place in rural red and white ceremonies, and almost every village has a set of teams that specialize in holding banquets. To put it simply, it means that the main family pays for everything, and everything is left to them to deal with.
But about the third uncle's funeral, Ming's father told his cousin very accurately that the villagers have long reached a consensus on your father's funeral, and they will definitely handle it in accordance with the traditional method.
As a result, the set of traditions that have not been seen for many years came out again, the east family borrowed tables, chairs and benches, and the west family borrowed big pots, dishes and chopsticks, etc. The people who work are also arranged by Ming's father, and whoever names them are called, there is no shirk at all, and there is no need to say any kind words.
The third uncle's funeral was handled at home for three days, and all the cousin had to do was to pay the money to Ming's father, and he went to arrange for someone to buy food to come back, and the whole village was lively and finished dealing with the third uncle's funeral.
On the first night after the third uncle's burial, my cousin still held a thank-you banquet in accordance with local customs, kowtowing to Ming's father and other people who helped slowly. Daddy Ming just said lightly:
Old nephew, don't talk about it, since you went to college, you have been away from the village for nearly 30 years, and in the past few decades, which family in the village has you been absent from the table? Although it's all written in your father's name, everyone knows that it's actually your arrangement.
The so-called courtesy exchanges, you, a promising person, are in the field, and you can't use the place of us villagers, your old father can't give up his homeland and return to his hometown for burial, which just gives everyone a chance to return their affection.
Yes, for a high-level intellectual like his cousin, his hometown and hometown are more of a thought in his heart, and the chance of really coming back to trouble everyone is very small.
But from the beginning, he seemed to have seen what was a long time later, and I had to admire that my cousin's books for so many years had indeed not been read in vain.
If he had ignored the affairs of his hometown over the years, would the third uncle's future affairs still be so smooth and beautiful?