Since ancient times, Chinese have paid attention to courtesy, and through courtesy, people can often maintain good interpersonal relationships.
However, we get to know a lot of people, and not all of them are genuinely friendly to us.
As the saying goes, people's hearts are separated from their bellies, and not all the people who let you give gifts are worth maintaining, and some people are not worth spending this money at all.
When people are old, they should learn to say "no" to their friends, especially these 3 types of people, no matter what reason they have, don't follow the courtesy, it's just a waste of money!
The first type of person: an old classmate who hasn't been in touch for many years
Each of us has classmates, but after graduation, because we all have our own lives and are far away from each other, people will find that their contact with their former classmates is gradually decreasing.
When an old classmate who hasn't been in touch for many years suddenly sends a wedding or birthday invitation to a banquet, do you also wonder whether to take the money with it?
Not long ago, Yang Chunhua, who lives in Shanxi, experienced the same thing.
In the second year of Yang Chunhua's retirement, a classmate who had a good relationship in high school didn't know where to get her WeChat.
Yang Chunhua is still very impressed by this classmate, the two of them talked about things a long time ago, and just when they were about to end the chat, the other party suddenly said that the end of this month is her son's wedding, and I hope Yang Chunhua can come to attend.
In the face of this sudden invitation, Yang Chunhua was very entangled, she hesitated again and again, whether she wanted to go, how much courtesy she should take if she went, and even if she didn't go, she had to give some money to show it.
After some thought, Yang Chunhua decided to attend the wedding and prepared a red envelope of 1,000 yuan.
However, the atmosphere of the wedding scene made Yang Chunhua feel embarrassed, except for a few greetings, this high school classmate almost ignored Yang Chunhua.
What disappointed Yang Chunhua even more was that after the wedding, the classmate never contacted her again, as if the previous acquaintance was just a foreshadowing for her to attend the wedding.
This experience made Yang Chunhua deeply realize that for old classmates who have not been in touch for a long time, the gift is often just a form of communication, and it is difficult to truly maintain the friendship between each other.
In real life, there are many people like Yang Chunhua, who choose to be polite out of face or out of politeness.
Of course, there are also people who can clearly realize that this kind of classmates who often do not contact you to attend the banquet are not to maintain a friendly relationship with you, their purpose is very simple, just to ask you for money.
For such students, you must be brave enough to say "no" to them.
Of course, a straightforward refusal is not an easy task, you can tactfully express your attitude and inform the other party that your time is inconvenient and you will not be able to attend the banquet on time.
If the other person is estranged or dissatisfied with you because of this, then the relationship may not be as important as you think.
Of course, everyone's situation is different, and you need to judge how to handle this relationship according to your actual situation.
Sometimes, proper communication and explanation can help ease the conflict, but if the other person is just asking for money unilaterally without taking into account your feelings, then perhaps it is a better option to give up the relationship.
The second type of person: a colleague with a general relationship
Uncle Deng, who has entered the age of sixtieth year, received an invitation from Lao Zhang at the beginning of the year.
Lao Zhang was Uncle Deng's former colleague, and when the two of them worked, they only had some intersections, and the relationship was very average.
Uncle Deng never thought that he would be able to contact Lao Zhang after he was retired.
It turned out that Lao Zhang's grandson was full moon, and he wanted to invite Uncle Deng to celebrate.
For Lao Zhang, the birth of his grandson is undoubtedly a great joy in his later life, but for Uncle Deng, he has little interest in attending the full moon banquet.
Uncle Deng felt from the bottom of his heart that his friendship with Lao Zhang was not deep, and he had been retired for many years, so he didn't have much enthusiasm for this kind of occasion.
However, Uncle Deng didn't want to reject Lao Zhang directly, after all, everyone used to be colleagues, and there was some affection.
After some struggle, Uncle Deng finally decided to follow his heart. He sent a congratulatory message to Lao Zhang, saying that he had been out of town recently and couldn't take time to attend the banquet.
However, what Uncle Deng didn't expect was that Lao Zhang didn't reply to him.
It wasn't until some time ago that Uncle Deng found out that Lao Zhang had already blocked his WeChat.
Uncle Deng thought to himself, such a colleague, even if he really went, he would not necessarily get his approval, and he might dislike his share of the money he followed.
In fact, it is not uncommon for colleagues in the workplace to invite us to a banquet and participate in the ceremony, but everyone will be concerned about each other's affection and go to the ceremony.
But when people get old, are those colleagues you once knew in the workplace really worth your money to maintain? You have to think about that.
We will meet many colleagues in this life, but not everyone will become a close partner in our lives.
For those colleagues who have a mediocre relationship, they may just be passers-by at your work, and you don't have a deep emotional foundation between you.
When they invite you to do so, you need to consider the actual relationship between you.
If you don't plan to have a deeper relationship with them, you can politely refuse, even if you lose the relationship, there is nothing to lose for you.
On the contrary, maintaining a relationship that is not deep for the sake of face will only make you cocooned yourself.
The third type: those who do not return the gift
Zhao Yali and Qian Lili are sisters in the same village, the two grew up together, and after going to work, they worked together in a factory, and the relationship was very good.
A few years ago, Qian Lili's little daughter got married, which was the happiest thing for her.
Qian Lili was full of joy to prepare for her daughter's wedding, and invited relatives and friends in the village to witness this happy moment.
After receiving the invitation, Zhao Yali decided to attend the wedding without hesitation, and planned to give a generous gift money to express her blessings to her good sister and daughter.
On the day of the wedding, Zhao Yali came to Qian Lili's house early and handed over the gift money of 2,000 yuan to Qian Lili.
Qian Lili was very happy, she held Zhao Yali's hand tightly, thanked her repeatedly, and said: "Just let people come, follow this big red envelope, it's really powerful." ”
Zhao Yali looked at the happy smile of her good sister, and she also felt extremely satisfied and happy in her heart.
Time flies, a few years have passed in a blink of an eye, and Zhao Yali's granddaughter has also reached the age of holding a birthday party.
Zhao Yali thought about the heavy gift she gave when Qian Lili's daughter got married, so she decided to invite Qian Lili to her granddaughter's birthday banquet, and also looked forward to her returning a gift.
However, when Zhao Yali called Qian Lili to invite her, there was a busy sound of "doo" on the other end of the phone.
Zhao Yali didn't give up and sent another WeChat invitation, but Qian Lili never replied.
On the day of the birthday banquet, Zhao Yali waited for Qian Lili's arrival, but she was not seen until the banquet ended.
What made Zhao Yali even more disappointed was that Qian Lili didn't even have a gift money.
Zhao Yali had mixed feelings in her heart, she remembered that she was so generous with a gift of 2,000 yuan to Qian Lili, and now her granddaughter is holding a birthday party, and the good sisters not only didn't even return the gift, but also didn't send a word of blessing, and she was very sad.
Although 2,000 yuan is not much, this makes Zhao Yali see the true face of a person.
She understood a truth: those who do not return the gift are not worthy of their own salute at all.
Although there are relatively few people who don't return the gift in life, there are also some people, for such people, we must also keep our eyes open, don't be deceived by their usual performance.
The relationship between people is not a one-sided giving and taking, but needs to be cherished and maintained by both parties.
Exchanges of gifts are a fine tradition left by our ancestors, but not everyone can do it.
For those who forget to salute or deliberately don't return the salute, they don't take us seriously at all.
Those who deliberately do not return the gift must decisively refuse if they invite themselves to the banquet, otherwise they will not only spend money in vain, but also put themselves in a situation of exhaustion.
In stark contrast to this type of person, those who know how to be grateful and reciprocate, they will not only express their gratitude to you for your share of money, but also give you back at the right time, such a relationship is worthy of our maintenance and cherishment.
Therefore, when we are confronted with an invitation from someone who deliberately does not return the gift, we should not hesitate to choose to decline. Such a rejection not only protects our wallets, but also allows us to reject an unhealthy relationship.
Of course, rejection does not mean severing all contact, and we can also build a relationship with them in other ways.
Of course, if the other party doesn't want to have a relationship with us other than money, then there is no need for us to be too entangled and obsessed.
After all, life is too short to devote our time and energy to the people and things that are truly worthwhile.
In short, in the face of those who deliberately do not return gifts, we should resolutely safeguard our dignity and rights.
For those who do not respect us, we must dare to refuse.
Only in this way can we maintain our independence and autonomy in this complex society, and can we truly live our own wonderful and worthy.
Write at the end
In interpersonal communication, as a traditional custom, Sui Li carries the dual meaning of emotion and etiquette.
However, with the rapid development of society, the phenomenon of courtesy has gradually evolved into a kind of "face project".
In order to maintain the so-called face, many people do not hesitate to spend a lot of money to give gifts, and the result is often a waste of money and no real recognition from others.
True friendships and relationships should not be based on money and material things.
We must also learn to refuse the invitation of these four types of people and stick to our principles and bottom line.
Only in this way can we truly be old and clear and avoid financial losses.