Whether your child loves you or not is hidden in these 5 details

New Oriental Family Education

2024-06-25 09:59Posted in Beijing, creators in the field of parenting

Author: The main creative group, Little Tomato

Writer Liu Jirong in the book "The Man Who Sat on the Roadside and Applauded", told a few stories about his son:

When the little one was 3 years old, he said to her immaturely:

"When I grow up, I'll buy you and Dad a plane, and you can fly wherever you want."

When she was 4 years old, her son looked at the picture of the villa and said to her:

"This building, that one, all of them will be bought for you in the future."

When he was 5 years old, Liu Jirong fell seriously ill, and his son swore solemnly:

"I will definitely develop the best medicine in the future, so that my mother will never be sick."

She has a phobia of Monday, and her son named the day "Mommy's Angry Day."

He usually saves up a lot of small things to give to his mother on Monday - a piece of candy, a picture, or a flower or a leaf blown by the wind.

When Mom was feeling down, he would hand her the gift and say loudly, "Hey, happy angry day!" ”

These warm moments can't help but move every parent.

As a parent, who doesn't want to raise a child who knows how to care for himself, is considerate of himself, and is willing to express love to you at any time.

But children are not born to give, behind every child who understands love, there is a pair of parents who understand love.

Whether the child you raise loves you or not depends entirely on these 5 details.

Major festivals

Whether or not to spend time with children

In "The Little Prince", it says:

"A sense of ritual is about making a day different from other days, making a moment different from others."

Parents must pay special attention to their children's birthdays, as well as some important holidays, or growth nodes.

Because this is a very rare moment in the child's growth, you can deeply feel and remember the love from your parents.

Station B blogger @李酥酥的酥 once posted a video recording the birthday of his son Xiao Zhou:

Her son usually adds some favorite things to his shopping cart, so she decided to give him an unforgettable ritual on this birthday - emptying his shopping cart.

After receiving the courier, she "lied" to Xiao Zhou, these couriers were all her own, and she wanted to ask her son to help dismantle it.

Who knows, Xiao Zhou actually took out the toy he had wanted for a long time.

If you dismantle another one, it will be a doll in your heart.

After dismantling four or five things in a row, Xiao Zhou finally realized that all the express delivery today was actually a birthday surprise prepared by his mother for himself.

He couldn't help but hug his mother tightly, his eyes full of happy tears.

I think his love for his mother must have reached its peak at this moment.

As the writer Lin Xuan said:

"The exploration and review of the sense of ritual again and again is about the recognition and determination of love."

Some small rituals in life will fill children's hearts with happiness, make them feel valued and cared for.

It is also the parents who are telling their children: you are the most special existence, and you are extremely important in my heart.

These little blessings will inject nourishment into the child's heart, so that the child can perceive love, believe in love, and express love.

When the child makes a mistake

You accuse him at every turn

Still firmly on his side

Another netizen recalled that when he was a child, he played football and accidentally kicked the neighbor's precious orchid to pieces.

Unexpectedly, after his father apologized to his neighbor, he actually smiled and comforted him:

"You're on your feet! Maybe you can make it to the football team in the future! ”

"Daddy knows you didn't mean to."

"Next time we can find an open place to play, what do you think?"

Then, his father took him to find a suitable place to play football and played with him for an afternoon.

When he grew up, whenever he remembered that afternoon, his heart felt very warm, and he was full of gratitude and love for his father.

After seeing it, many netizens said that they broke the defense:

"Tears, it turns out that you don't need to be blamed for doing something wrong."

"I remember once playing with a child, I accidentally hit my head against the wall, and the back of my head was broken, and my father who came not only did not comfort me, but blamed me first, which was really super sad......"

"When I was a child, I had to be scolded by my mother when the food fell to the ground, and when I grew up, I would be so nervous that I wanted to vomit if I made a little mistake."

In the growth of children, it is inevitable that there will be times when they make mistakes and perform unsatisfactorily.

When children make mistakes, they are often apprehensive, frustrated, or hesitant, and what they need is not your fuel or ridicule.

You might as well give him a hug, comfort him in time, and tell him that it's not a big deal, and if there is a problem, let's find a way to solve it together.

We want our children to know that no matter how difficult you are or how many gossips you face, Mom and Dad will always love you and stand behind you.

A child bathed in love and acceptance can give birth to infinite strength and courage, and grow into a child with love in his heart and light in his eyes.

Whether you spend time with your child

Do what he loves

Many parents feel that staying by their children's side every day, or monitoring their children's learning, is companionship.

I once saw a mother accompanying her son to a bookstore, watching her child pick up a comic book and immediately start chattering:

"What's the use of you reading these books every day, I pick out all the good books for you, and you never read them!"

After hearing this, the boy impatiently threw down the book and left, presumably he did not want to let his mother accompany him to the bookstore in the future.

In fact, the real companionship is to have a heart with the child and accompany the child to do what he likes.

Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang's daughter Qian Ying has been a special and considerate child since she was a child.

Usually, even if she is busy at work, Qian Ying will always rush home to sew pajamas for her shallow mother and peel candy paper for her sugar-loving father.

When her father left home on a business trip, because she knew that her mother was afraid of touching cat feces, she was alone in the snow and used her delicate fingers to clean up the cat feces covered with snow.

The reason why Qian Ying is so caring and grateful is actually because of the love and companionship of her parents since she was a child.

Father Qian Zhongshu usually plays all kinds of bizarre games with his daughter whenever he is free, and uses an ink pen to draw a beard on his daughter Qian Yuan's face and a grimace on her belly, giving her a carefree childhood.

If you want to give your child high-quality companionship, you must do what you like.

Parents respect their children's preferences and take the time to explore with their children and devote themselves to them, so that they can give their children the nourishment of love and enter their children's world.

When the child did not do well in the exam

Are you disappointed or warm-hearted and comforting

I saw a news that a boy scored 630 points, fourth in his class, and ranked in the top 20 in his grade, but he was scolded by his parents when he went home.

Parents feel that the boy does not study hard enough, and it will be better if he works hard.

The boy was particularly aggrieved, and after a big quarrel with his parents, he ran away from home, squatting on the side of the road and crying bitterly.

One can imagine how aggrieved and sad the boy was in his heart.

In his heart, he must feel that grades are the only criterion for his parents to love him, and he can't help but be disappointed and chilled by his parents.

In comparison, the girl's first midterm exam was not ideal.

Dad picked her up and took her home and smiled as he sat his daughter down at the table.

Afterwards, the mother brought out her daughter's favorite dessert plate by plate to comfort and encourage her.

No scolding, no criticism, just warmth and acceptance.

The daughter looked at a table of her favorite desserts, couldn't hold back any longer, smiled and laughed and cried.

I think she should be able to feel the love of her parents in her heart at this moment.

We need to firmly tell our children, "No matter what, I love you." ”

This will let the child know that we love him as a person, regardless of whether he is good or not, and we will not love him because of a poor test result, nor will we love him more because of his excellent grades.

Only in this way can parents truly win the hearts of their children.

Exile

It was to let him carry his school bag by himself

Or take the schoolbag for him

Many parents have experience picking up their children from school.

You will definitely find that the parents who are waiting for their children to get out of school at the school gate, a large part of the first time they see their children, they smile and come forward, take their children's schoolbags and help carry them.

And those children seem to be used to it.

can't help but wonder how such a spoiled child can know how to feel sorry for his parents, and how can he be grateful to his parents.

Wei Shusheng, who used to be the director of the Panjin Municipal Education Bureau, mentioned one thing in his speech:

On weekdays, when Wei Shusheng and his son go out, if there is only one bag, it must be the son who rushes to carry it;

If it is two bags, the son will carry one in each hand.

Until one time, there were three bags in total, Wei Shusheng thought that his son would definitely not be able to carry it this time, and was planning to carry one himself.

As a result, the son snatched it, carried one on his back, carried one in each of his left and right hands, and strode in front.

Looking at his son's back, Wei Shusheng felt extremely gratified: "I was empty-handed in the back, admiring the maturity of the child, and also tasting the fruits of my own education." ”

It turned out that Wei Shusheng was willing to use his children since he was a child, and he also gave his son an order: what he can do, he must do it himself.

When his son was three or four years old, he coerced and coaxed his son to wash his feet.

Teacher Yu Minhong also said in a speech:

"I now live with my mother, and as long as the child is present, I will feed her and wash her feet, and I want the children to know that gratitude to their parents is the most important thing."

Children are not born with a feeling for their parents and know how to love their parents.

Only by teaching children how to love and guiding children to give, can children learn to love and be grateful subtly.

Mr. Yang Jiang said:

"All relationships in this world are mutual. You give me a piece of candy, I'll give you a little cake, you pull me to see the little stars, and I'll take you to bask in the sun. ”

Any relationship is mutual, and love between parents and children is no exception.

Parents do not hesitate to accompany their children, encourage and love them, so that they can form a flowing river of love between parents and children over time.

I hope that every parent can create a family full of warmth and love, so that children have enough confidence and confidence to create a sky of their own.

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