The Story of an Old Man [Seventy-Six]
Zou Xingshu‖ one old and one young two "two"
[That touch of sunset] Photo by Li Dongchuan
I like Liao Yimei's sentence in "Softness", "Everyone is lonely." In our lives, it is not uncommon to encounter love and sex, but it is rare to encounter understanding. ”
—Editor's note
At the end of the 70s, I was an amateur drama writer for brick factory workers, and Xu Shuzi was the director of the Drama Research Office of the Municipal Bureau of Culture.
At that time, there were as many as 80 people in the city who liked to write plays. Once, he selected seven or eight authors for a meeting, and said that I have selected one of your works to prepare a collection, and from then on we will be the center of script writing in the city.
Everyone was very excited when this remark came out. Director Xu found that my face was not as excited as he expected, and asked me directly: Zou Xingshu, did you hear what I said? I said yes, I just think that the center is not set up when it wants to, but only by nature, because the creation of this thing is unknown and mysterious.
One sentence made everyone very unhappy. But Director Xu didn't care about the cold water I poured on me. Nodding and saying it makes sense. Let's talk about each of these works. We should discuss it carefully and thoroughly, and then go back and revise the final draft, and send it within the time I said so as not to delay the publication.
I don't know if everyone's discussion is not serious or embarrassed, most of the words are compliments, how can this be improved? I was disappointed, and although I made some sincere suggestions, I didn't dare to say 10 points due to the atmosphere at the time. (From that day on, I didn't want to waste my time at such a seminar.)
On the last day, we discussed Director Xu's own works, and everyone praised them, some of them were really excessive, and I just thought that there were too many hard wounds in that work. So there was no statement.
But my facial expressions betrayed my heart, which was obviously noticed by Director Xu. In the end, he looked at me and said Zou Xingshu, you haven't said your opinion yet.
I couldn't escape, I had to tell the truth, otherwise I would be sorry for him. I said that this play was not selected well from the selection of materials, and it was in vain to make small repairs and small changes, so it was better to simply give up and write another one.
As soon as these words came out, after a pause, some people couldn't hold back and criticized me and said: Xingshu, you are too absolute, I think it can still be changed. I replied, "Listen to it," and stopped talking.
Director Xu sat there, obviously a little embarrassed on his face but not annoyed, nodded a few times and said, "Then I'll think about it."
At that time, I thought that everyone should admire Director Xu's generosity, anyway, I was in full respect.
I sent the newly revised script to Director Xu on time for publication. But just as the day of printing was approaching, I received a letter from Director Xu, putting forward three opinions that needed to be rewritten. At that time, I felt that he was deliberately embarrassing me, so I unceremoniously replied with three points: I can't accept any of your opinions; Even if it's too late to accept it; I voluntarily gave up this opportunity.
The collection was published, and there was no work of mine.
After some time, Director Xu informed me to go to a meeting. I hesitated and went. As soon as I met Director Xu, I said, Zou Xingshu, you have a lot of temper, you don't want to change it, and you still take the initiative to quit? You misunderstood me! The last sentence was loud, and it was clear that he was angry.
Yes, it's my villain's heart that lives in the belly of a gentleman. Later facts proved it: Soon he allocated 800 yuan to the Cultural Center to rehearse my "Lao Jin", it was he who allocated money to let me travel for a month to broaden my horizons, he allocated money to let me and Zhao Jingzhou stay in a hotel for several months to create a new script, after Mayor Wang decided to transfer me and Zhao Jingzhou to the Cultural Affairs Bureau, the deputy director who was in charge of the work at that time did not go through the formal transfer procedures, and it was delayed until the end of the year, when a friend from the Organization Department called me and asked me if the transfer procedures had been completed? I said I don't know. He said that after December 30, the transfer of personnel of all organs will be frozen for one year. If you don't have to do it, you have to do it in the next few days.
I went to ask the new deputy director of the research office (Director Xu has retired and become a researcher without authority) what to do? The deputy director said that you should go back to the factory first and wait for the news.
Before leaving, I went to say goodbye to Mr. Xu. He said don't go, it'll be yellow if you go. You listen to me, you will go to the deputy director's house tonight to resign, you don't sit down and leave, you must say a word before leaving: "I still have to go to Mayor Wang to resign, he asked me to enter the Cultural Affairs Bureau, now I am leaving, I should go to him to resign, otherwise it will be rude." "Remember?
I went to bid farewell to the deputy director, who lay on the bed and didn't move, just said okay. Next, I will read the book according to Xu Lao's original words. When the deputy director heard this, he immediately got up from the bed and said, "Don't go yet." I'll be in the bureau tomorrow.
The next day, when I arrived at the bureau, the head of the organization section told me that he had sent the deputy director of the research office to the brick factory with an order to get your files.
Mr. Xu helped me complete the transfer at a critical moment.
As soon as I arrived at the Cultural Affairs Bureau, someone told me about Mr. Xu's temperament: at an early meeting, the director of the bureau got up late and arrived late. Lao Xu actually said to the director: "In the past, the emperor would not let the ministers wait until the early dynasty. ”
But how do I repay this kindness?
The first thing was that not long after I officially went to work, he told me that the bureau had comfortingly transferred money to allow him to go on a trip, and approved that he could choose someone to accompany and take care of him. He said I chose you. Next week I'll take you on a trip to "Around the World!" ”。 I was so happy to hear it.
But what I didn't expect was that a newly promoted leader told me that you can't go, the reason is that you have to devote yourself to creation, and it will cost a lot of state funds to go out.
Can I still go now? I didn't dare to tell Mr. Xu the truth, I thought about it until the next day, so I had to say that my lover was not in good health and I couldn't go. When Xu Lao heard this, he was immediately furious, and he was so angry that he even said, "You see that I have no power when I step down, right?" You're a villain! Such words were shouted out.
Another thing is that he has an opinion about the bureau leader who is temporarily in charge of the work, and he wants to report it to the above, but he is afraid that it will be misunderstood because of factionalism, and I am a newcomer who has just been transferred, and there is no factional problem. asked me to write this "letter from the people". However, my personality really couldn't accept this approach, and I said that I came to the Cultural Affairs Bureau to engage in creation, and I would not participate in such things as writing letters from the people. He really didn't expect to refuse me directly, and in a fit of anger, he said something more embarrassing than the last time he slapped his face.
I ran away from him with my head down.
After this incident, Xu Lao was very hurt, and within a few days, Xu Lao was transferred back to his hometown in Linzi.
After waiting for a while, I felt that Xu Lao's anger should also be gone, so I cheekily went to Linzi to see him with gifts. He was resolutely turned away.
Two years later, I went again, broke into his office, and was seen, but the gift was refused.
It wasn't until a few years later that I asked a few colleagues to go to his house to see him, after all, after many years and guarding the others, he just pretended not to see me, and finally didn't kick me out.
Through this time, his anger also disappeared. When I looked at him again, he was starting to smile.
Once I went to see him again, he took out my "There Was Once a Little Temple Here" and said three times in a row: "How many times do you guess I have read this script?" Five times. That's great! With this one play, you have lived up to my expectations for you. "I almost burst into tears.
Suddenly one day he called me and asked me to go. I went right away. As soon as he entered the door, he said that he called you to come to "rehabilitate" Zou Xingshu. I was blinded for a while, and what did I say and "rehabilitated?" He laughed and said, "Yesterday I met so-and-so." Speaking of that trip. So-and-so said that you wronged Zou Xingshu, and I didn't allow him to go at that time. He reasoned that his lover was sick because he was afraid that you would have an opinion on me. Oh, Zou Xingshu, Zou Xingshu, I have wronged you for decades, why didn't you explain it to me earlier! ”
Actually, I forgot about it a long time ago. I thought about it for a moment before I remembered it again.
It has been many years since Xu Lao died. Today, I miss Mr. Xu Shuzi's old-timers, and suddenly I think of Gao Xiaosheng (an old writer in the 50s, who took off his rightist hat in the 80s, and whose works were once called almost like Lu Xun) read the novel "Tidbits Presented to the Heavens" written by me in a letter to me in 85 years:
"It seems that we are both unlikable people".
Mr. Xu and I, the old and the young, are not very similar.
【Dance】 Li Dongchuan
After reading the world and the vicissitudes of the world, I realized that I was fortunate to meet someone who understood you in this life, and I didn't come to this world in vain.
- Editor's note
Zou Xingshu
Born in 1946 on the bank of the Black Tiger Spring in the ancient county of Jinan, he likes to be clear and turbid but not tolerant of turbidity. He has gone to the countryside and entered the factory for many years, and has created more than 20 major plays that have been published in national central journals and provincial professional journals or performed in theaters, and have been moved to the teaching stage of the Central Academy of Drama and Beijing Film Academy three times; "Green Hat" was performed in Beijing by the famous director Zhang Qihong in the 50s, and artists from Beijing Renyi, Chinese Opera and the National Theatre. His short stories were scattered in literary journals such as Zhongshan, Yuhua, Qingming, and Baihuazhou, and he devoted himself to essays and poetry exploration in his later years. Filming dozens of episodes of TV series. What the author deliberately pursues is to try his best to get rid of the mindset of class struggle or ideological differences, and strive to explore the profession of love and goodness and the criticism of evil and hatred in common human nature, as well as the universal values of human dignity and the right to life, and is still committed to the spiritual and spiritual exploration of human beings.
【Sweeping Map of Rivers and Lakes】 Yu Shouwan painting
Editor: Li Dongchuan
June 25, 2024