Text/Xia Mo
01, frontispiece
Managing love is like planting flowers and grasses, which need to be moistened by rain, dew and sunshine, and need to be carefully cared for.
Too much drought or too much waterlogging will make the life of love wither in advance, and the relationship between them will come to an end.
The same is true for loving someone. You can't be too detached from it, but you can't love too much.
Women, this is the best way to love a man: to give yourself a sense of security.
02. Maintaining self-improvement is the best investment
A while ago, I attended a class reunion.
There are a few female classmates who are very dissatisfied with the current situation of their marriage.
They said that when their husbands came home, they collapsed on the couch and did not care about anything.
There are only three states at home, playing with the phone, sleeping, and going to the toilet, as if the wife is transparent.
Among them, there is a female classmate who said that she and her husband have a good relationship.
In the past few years, she has continued to learn new things, generate income for her family, and earn more money than men, so that men dare not look down on her.
Her career is developing well, and many connections are also helpful to her husband's career. My husband now treats her as a baby, very considerate and gentle, and her life is more romantic than when she was in love.
A woman, the best way to love someone is not to give everything for him.
Don't put all your attention on him, but let yourself metamorphize, grow, and become better and better.
Improving oneself is the best investment for a woman.
Liang Wendao once said: "It is very important for a woman to have the ability to live a good life by herself, and to have things that others cannot take away." ”
Only an evenly matched love can make two people grow and progress together, love each other better, and the future will become more and more promising.
03. Don't overestimate your lover, don't have too high expectations for him
Sheng Minglan in "Do You Know", when she first married Gu Tingye, she was very polite to him.
She was not angry when relatives inside and outside the house and those with bad intentions stuffed concubines into her house.
Knowing that Gu Tingye gave birth to a son and a daughter for him before getting married, Manniang came to the door, and she was not jealous.
In that era when it was not uncommon for large families to have groups of wives and concubines, it seemed more difficult to expect men to be single-minded than to ascend to the sky.
She did not overestimate his love, prepared for the best and prepared for the worst.
Women, never overestimate your lover's love for you, and don't expect anything from him.
The higher the expectation, the more likely you are to be hurt and lost.
Sanmao said: "If you look forward to it too much, it won't be good!" What you have to bear is your own future and mood, and who can really share it? ”
When you don't look forward to it, you can calmly accept the various trials in your marriage and solve them with your heart.
When he loves you more, you will be pleasantly surprised, you will be grateful, and the relationship between you will be better managed.
Lower your expectations of your lover and rely on yourself for everything.
Not being overly dependent and remaining independent will allow you to manage your marriage better.
04. If you love too much, you will be hurt, learn to love yourself
If a woman loves a man in this life, loves herself to the point of losing herself, and lives only for him, this is not pious love, but a kind of sorrow.
It is a terrible thing to let one's independence and subjectivity die out because of love.
Oscar Wilde said, "Self-love is the beginning of a long romantic history." ”
Loving someone too much and giving everything you have to him is not called love at all.
If there is a problem in the relationship, the woman will find that she has no way out. Because, she doesn't know what path she can take.
At any time, women should not love too much, and do not allow themselves to live as a shadow of men.
Because, if you love too much, it will only make you gradually lose yourself, and let yourself live without faith, purpose, and motivation.
In this life, you must learn to love yourself. You can only live for yourself with determination if you love yourself.
Love depends on the mutual attraction between two people.
When you maintain an independent personality and have your own life plan, you will shine and men will appreciate you more and love you more.
05. Summary
How you love yourself is actually teaching men how to love you.
Women, making yourself feel secure is the best way to love someone.
Make yourself independent and strong, take care of your own life, pursue your dreams bravely, and let yourself live a brilliant and chic life, which will attract excellent men to love you.
Love is a part of life, not the whole of life.
A woman loves someone sensually, but also to remain sensible. Let love flow for a long time, and it will operate longer.
-END-
Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the whole network, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotion, sexes, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.