#长文创作激励计划#
As long as the family can be calm,
You can refine sweetness from hardship.
Author: Insight Leyla
In the book "Intimacy", it is written:
"Junk emotions can happen in any intimate relationship, and the closer people are, the more they will unconsciously hurt each other."
In life, those who are emotionally stable will nourish each other.
But there are also some people who will vent their anger and irritability to their family members like dumping garbage.
When these emotions spread, the whole family will be deeply poisoned.
Many times, the internal friction in the family does not stem from poverty, but from garbage emotions.
1
Writer Wang Shuo once summarized his relationship with his parents:
When I was a child, I was afraid of them, and when I was older, I began to annoy them, and then I was at the tip of the needle, and I quarreled when we met.
On the one hand, I think I should be kind to them, but I just can't pretend to be;
Later, when I thought of them, I felt sad.
Why is this so?
It turned out that Wang Shuo grew up in an indifferent family since he was a child.
His father beat him up at every turn, and his mother was always critical of him.
Even the relationship between parents is full of accusations and complaints.
Violence, whining, indifference...... The superposition of all kinds of garbage emotions makes this family have no warmth at all.
Wang Shuo, who grew up in this atmosphere, also became extremely sharp when he grew up, and often treated others like a hedgehog.
Hu Shi once said: "The most disgusting thing in the world is an angry face; The most obscene thing in the world is to show your angry face to others, which is more uncomfortable than scolding. ”
The divisions between family members all start with garbage emotions.
Hemingway also told the story of his mother.
His mother, Grace, was a piano artist with a strong and emotionally variable personality.
She often insulted her husband in front of Hemingway, "a hillbilly from a poor, ugly look who doesn't understand art."
For Hemingway himself, she was even tougher, often belittling and reprimanding.
Under the influence of his mother, Hemingway lived in fear every day.
Although he is talented in the eyes of the outside world, he is full of inferiority complex deep inside.
The shadow of this family stayed with him throughout his life, leading him to later suffer from depression.
In the end, one early morning, this literary tough guy, who was admired by countless people, chose to end his life by swallowing a gun and committing suicide.
Emotional expert Lu Qi once said:
Every time you vent your garbage emotions at home, it is actually an unplanned, unstrategic, and unannounced "blasting" operation.
The happy building that was originally built by the family brick by brick collapsed in your explosions.
In life, everyone has times when they are depressed, irritable, and bitter.
However, blindly throwing garbage at relatives will only add to the annoyance and depression of the family.
Over time, no matter how harmonious the family is, it will become disintegrated.
2
In life, many people are like this:
In front of outsiders, always show the best side.
But when he returned home and faced the people closest to him, he showed the ugliest face.
An unintentional word or an inadvertent action from a family member can sometimes touch their sensitive nerves, making them lose control of their emotions and be furious.
But home is a haven for the soul, not a battlefield for firing cannons.
Blindly venting emotions to family members will only make the family atmosphere heavy.
The host, Luo Jing, worked at CCTV when he was young and was under a lot of pressure.
Once, he was busy at home while smoking a cigarette while rushing a manuscript.
His mother was distressed when she watched from the sidelines, so she couldn't help but persuade him: "Don't smoke, it's not good for your health." ”
Luo Jing was angry after hearing this, and yelled at his mother: "Why do you care so much? ”
As soon as the words were finished, the mother, who rarely shed tears, cried on the spot.
Luo Jing was remorseful when he saw it, so he made up his mind never to lose his temper with his family again.
For families, the deadliest problem is not poverty.
But if you encounter a little problem, you can't control your emotions and hurt each other without any scruples.
Singer Pu Shu once talked about his marriage crisis in a variety show.
For a while, Pu Shu's career was in trouble, and he suffered from pressure and frustration.
Whenever he returned home, it was always difficult for him to control his emotions, and conversations with his wife often turned into arguments over trivial matters.
The originally warm family atmosphere has become tense and depressing.
After a long time, the wife finally couldn't bear it anymore and filed for divorce.
She said to Pu Shu: "You put the best energy in the record, but you left me a bunch of garbage emotions." ”
Only then did Pu Shu realize that his anxious mood had caused great harm to his wife.
So he worked hard to change, restrained all the negative emotions at home, and finally won back his wife's heart.
Many times, we always rely on the continuous blood relationship to vent our emotions to our families.
But no matter how tightly fetters are fetters, they can't withstand repeated stabbings.
Therefore, don't use the other party's tolerance of you as a reason to be unscrupulous.
Show more gentle emotions to your family, so that your home can be full of warmth and your days will be more harmonious.
3
Lu Yongfeng, a Chinese brand alchemist, was often in a state of emotional collapse in the early days of his business.
Many times, he felt the resentment in his heart, and it was about to overflow his chest.
But every time he went home, he would first adjust in the car for 5 minutes and wait until his emotions calmed down before opening the door.
No matter how difficult his work is, he always treats his wife and children with a smile.
A friend was impressed by his ability to manage his emotions and asked him how he did it.
Lu Yongfeng said with a smile: "Home is a harbor of love, not a trash can for bad moods." ”
There is a saying that the home is only a square inch, and if it is full of anger, it will not be able to spare love.
Positive emotions are the key to a family's prosperity.
Writer Lin Qingxuan once recalled his mother.
His mother was born into a family of rural gentry and was favored by his parents from an early age.
After getting married, my mother had to be responsible for the food and clothing of a family of more than 30 people, and she had to raise pigs and chickens, and she was tired all day long.
But no matter how tired she is, her mother will not vent the pressure of life on her family.
When he was a child, Lin Qingxuan and his younger brother were very naughty and often caused trouble for their mother.
Even so, the mother did not get angry, but patiently taught.
Lin Qingxuan said, "I've never heard my mother say a rude word in my life. ”
When he was a child, his family conditions were not good, but his mother brought him full of happiness.
It was also thanks to the influence of his mother that Lin Qingxuan eventually became a generation of literary masters.
In life, there are always all kinds of setbacks and tribulations.
But as long as the family can digest the anger in their hearts, they can refine the sweetness from the hardship.
As long as each family member can complain less, be less irritable, and be more understanding and tolerant.
Then the home will be filled with more laughter, and the family will get better and better.
▽
Psychologist Yuan Xin said: Families with different emotions often have different fates.
Too much emotional accumulation of garbage in a household is a disaster for every member.
Only when family members live in harmony can they bring full warmth to each member.
Always remember that the greatest blessing of a family is less resentment, less anger, and more warmth.
When we can control our emotions, our home will become a haven for nourishment.
Like it, please give the best emotions to the closest people.