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Sugar Pill: Hello Midori, I'm a college student, and I've been very distressed lately. When I was in high school, I was an excellent graduate of high school, my parents were always proud of me, and as an only child, I had great expectations for myself to have a shining college years.
When I first started college, everything was going well. I made friends with a few girls in the dormitory, and we were very active in both going to class and participating in activities. As the requirements for my studies became more and more demanding, I became more and more motivated.
Before the final exams, I had a bad cold, so severe that I wondered if I had cancer. There is no doubt that after not having the energy to study, I failed my exam. Then I started to break all the rules I had set and tossed the schedule aside.
I stayed up late every day catching up on dramas, playing games, and numbing myself with endless parties and alcohol. I started not going to class, and when I didn't go to class, I felt so happy, as if all the things I was worried about were gone. But soon, I found that I had fallen behind a lot in my studies, and it was difficult to make up for it.
The college life I had imagined was ruined by me, and I didn't dare to talk to my parents about these things, I didn't know what I should do next.
Reading Xiaolu: From your description, I can understand that you feel frustrated after failing in the exam, and you seem to be unable to motivate yourself after being hit hard, but at the same time, you also find that you can't always indulge in a free and unbridled life, and you need some way to resume your academic life. I would like to share with you Janet Hibbs's book "The High Pressure Age", which may be enlightening for the troubles you are currently facing in your academic life~ If you want, you can sit down with me and talk about it to see how this book can help you with your specific problems.
Sugar Pill: I'd love to! Let's go in and talk!
Sugar Pill: Reading Xiaolu, I feel very confused, I think I am a very good student, and I was admitted to the ideal school, but after I went to university, I failed the exam, and I couldn't keep up with my studies, am I really too bad?
Reading Xiaolu: It sounds like you have achieved good grades in your studies in the past, so "getting good grades" in college is a matter of course in your imagination.
Sugar Pill: Of course! The current results are unacceptable to me.
Reading Xiaolu: Then how many points do you think you want to score is acceptable?
Sugar Pill: I didn't say how many points I had, but according to everyone's level, at least the top three in the class should be enough.
Reading Xiaolu: Let's take a look at how the "unacceptable" thing affects us. Among college students, there is a tendency towards "destructive perfectionism" that affects students a lot. "Destructive perfectionism" is the belief that perfection is needed to be perfect, whether it's studying, extracurricular activities, or socializing. This unrealistic view leaves students feeling overwhelmed and powerless, hopeless, and spirited.
Sugar Pill: I just hope that I can try to maintain the excellence I have always been, and if I am reduced to a "bad student", it feels like a "stain" on my college career, so it is this "destructive perfectionism" that is at work.
Midori: Yes. Academic achievement has been a focus on every student in our past academic careers. Focusing on academic achievement can lead to a strong fear of failure and a deep sense of shame when they fall behind academically, or even just think they are lagging behind. This kind of "destructive perfectionism" distorts self-worth, making it impossible for us to tolerate personal flaws, take reasonable risks, and face the inevitable failures on the road to maturity.
Sugar Pill: So I want to cheer up, first of all, I have to face up to my "destructive perfectionism", failing an exam doesn't mean anything, and not being able to keep up with my learning progress doesn't mean that my learning ability is not good, and the results I have achieved so far are what I have worked hard to get, and I can still be satisfied with myself. I don't have to wait until I'm ready to get the next step, I can start now, and it makes me feel like I'm regained a little bit of energy now.
Reading Midori: It's good that you can think of accepting yourself, so let's take a look at the action part.
Sugar Pill: Since I failed the exam, I don't go to class, I just stay up late to catch up on dramas and play games, I know that if I don't read books and go to class, my studies will only get worse and worse, but I just can't control my behavior.
Reading Midori: This has to mention our brains. The brain's executive network is a command center through which individuals can consciously control their thoughts, emotions, and behavior. The more efficiently a person is able to perform the multiple tasks involved in achieving a goal, the better the person's executive function in that area. An 18-year-old person's executive function is not yet fully formed, and under normal circumstances, the development of executive function is completed around the age of 25.
Sugar Pill: So I can't control my behavior because my executive function is still developing?
Reading Xiaolu: It may be that it has not yet been developed, and on the other hand, it depends on whether we have had the opportunity to train our executive function in the past.
As we move towards independent living, we do need some parental supervision, but we also need more opportunities to practice executive functioning. Some students who have been meticulously cared for by their well-intentioned parents since childhood have long been accustomed to the care and arrangement of their own people, who do not make their own time plans and to-do lists, cannot adjust their sleep schedule according to the needs of the university environment, and cannot prepare in advance for long-term tasks and exams.
Sugar Pill: So, my mom used to help me arrange everything in the past, but I didn't have the opportunity to exercise. My mom always said, "You just need to concentrate on your studies, you don't have to worry about anything else".
Reading Xiaolu: Yes, the more supervision we have, the less opportunities we have to develop executive function. We don't have the opportunity to learn to plan our activities, set schedules, prioritize them, and allocate our energy and attention to the ever-increasing number of tasks. However, in addition to studying in college, there are various tasks waiting for us to allocate time to complete.
Neuropsychologist Muriel Lezak defines executive function as "the ability to enable an individual to successfully engage in independent, intentional, self-interested behavior." Those with weaker executive functions have a hard time putting their intentions into action, or rather, failing to do what they know they should do. As you said, I knew it was time to rest, but I still didn't turn off my computer and phone, and continued to immerse myself in watching dramas and playing games.
Sugar Pill: What would happen if my executive function had always been like this, and I wasn't adequately trained and developed?
Reading Xiaolu: Our executive function has always been relatively weak, and we always fail to complete tasks, which can lead to all kinds of bad situations: poor academic performance, poor work performance, long-term discord in interpersonal relationships, low self-esteem, etc.
Sugar Pill: It still sounds a little scary, but what the hell can I do to strengthen my executive function?
Reading Midori: Don't worry, if you want to help yourself make some changes, you can try an intervention called Implementing Imagery Strategy (IIS). The essence of this strategy is a decision in advance: what steps need to be taken in order to complete the task, and when. Implementing the Imagery Strategy (IIS) shifts the focus of attention from the mission goal to the completion mechanic.
Assuming that the goal of the task is to read a specialized book that is as thick as a brick, many students will feel "What? I'm going to know so much overnight? "The moment everyone saw the goal of the mission, they were suddenly knocked down by the seemingly difficult task.
If we refer to the Implementation Imagery Strategy (IIS), we find that the first step is that you need to sit at your desk and read continuously for 10 minutes. Imagine if you were asked to open a book and read it for 10 minutes, wouldn't you be willing to do it right away?
Sugar Pill: As soon as you say that, I feel like I can do it, and I understand that the way to do it is to let me start simple.
Midori: Yes, implementing an imagery strategy (IIS) allows people to make a precise plan for how to deal with distractions or interruptions by consciously pre-positioning key points that are most likely to help the task start or continue.
Then let's note that the details are key: the implementation of the Imagery Strategy (IIS) is written by the students themselves, and for this they have to face up to and answer detailed questions, such as:
1. Based on what you know about yourself, what will help you get started?
2. What kind of disruptions could derail the plan after getting on track?
3. How do you plan to get back on track if you are interrupted?
Sugar Pill: Let me think about it, if I want to start studying, first of all, a quiet learning environment can get me into the learning mode quickly, and I can quickly focus on the content of the book after I sit in the library. As for what kind of distractions might derail the plan, I think it's easy for a friend to want to play and learn again whenever a friend asks me if I want to score points together.
Reading Midori: As far as playing games is concerned, if a friend who plays a game with sends an invitation, it is likely to interfere with what you want to do at the moment, and when we find this external temptation, we can set an immune script for ourselves: if a friend comes to invite me to join their game, I will say that I will not be able to participate, but as soon as I finish the day's work, I will go to them. Implementing the Imagery Strategy (IIS) allows us to build a framework for solving the problem in advance, i.e., if X appears, I will execute Y.
Sugar Pill: It's just to imagine all the possible scenarios, set up all kinds of reminders for yourself, and pull yourself back to the original path in time, right?
Reading Xiaolu: This is the way to make decisions in advance, and you can flexibly use this strategy according to your actual situation.
Sugar Pill: I see, I'm going to take a good look at the first step of the action, anticipate the possible distractions, refine the content of the imagery strategy, and be wary of the influence of some of my "perfectionist" tendencies. Thank you very much for reading Xiaolu, I want to read the book "High Pressure Age" carefully when I go back, I believe there will be a deeper understanding and harvest~
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