Love needs creativity and design, and marriage needs to be run and managed.
However, the specific way of management is different from each other.
However, the road is simple, and the general logic also exists, if a woman wants to have a happier marriage, it is enough to have two practical tricks.
One
Fulfill the man's like
There is a saying about the truth about a happy marriage that is very accurate:
A happy marriage is the effort of two people, the two words that a man can give a woman the warmest are "I am", and the two words that a woman can give a man the warmest are "I understand"
For a man, a woman's "understanding" is the greatest temptation and lethality for him.
Best friend Wang Fen, her husband is a typical straight man of steel, who speaks straightforwardly, and is even more incomprehensible to women, and his two hobbies of life, in addition to his work, is to grow flowers and raise fish, and he is a typical social phobia man who eats by technology.
When the two of them were together, the women in the girlfriend group were not very optimistic, spoke too straight, and it was easy to offend people. A man, without any social interaction, estimates that the space for career advancement is also limited. And he planted flowers and raised fish at a young age, living like a retired old man, which is really not interesting.
But the two have been working hand in hand for 20 years since they met, a pair of children are well-behaved and sensible, the relationship between the two people is the same, and the life is plain but stable. And those couples around me who looked like a good match at the beginning, looking at it, divorced, divorced and remarried, and the chickens and dogs jumping in their lives, abound.
Later, we asked Wang Fen how to get along, and Wang Fen said simply and bluntly:
It's to fulfill his like!
When he goes to work, he goes to work, and when he gets off work, he raises fish and grows flowers, and he wants to live a little like this. He knows that his emotional intelligence is not high, and he is a little afraid of society, so he just wants to do his job honestly, and then An An will share a little bit of a small life with his wife and children. It sounds a bit unenterprising and unmotivated, but he is such a person, he still knows himself very clearly, and if you think about it this way, you can accept it.
Accepting him as who he is is the best appreciation for a man.
In "Seeing Emotional Value", it says:
Everyone has emotions, but not everyone can provide emotional value. In an intimate relationship, whether a person can provide high emotional value to their partner can largely determine the success or failure of a relationship.
A woman, as long as she catches the man's emotional needs to be her own, this relationship is not bad.
Two
Make yourself better
Writer Su Qin once wrote:
The best way to love someone is to manage yourself well and give each other a high-quality lover. It's not that if you try to be nice to someone, that person will love you desperately. Worldly feelings inevitably have a realistic side: you are valuable, and your contribution is valued.
Making yourself better and more valuable, and then exchanging value with each other is the foundation of marital happiness.
The neighbor's little sister Xiao Zhang, who has been married for more than ten years, is still held by her husband as a princess in the palm of her hand.
In fact, Xiao Zhang has an average appearance and an average figure, and she is not the kind of woman who can tempt men. But the biggest attraction of her body is that she is always in good spirits and sunny. From marriage to now, I have never given up on self-growth, and I have been getting better, stronger, and more beautiful, so I always give people a sense of vitality and charm.
Xiao Zhang was originally just an ordinary company clerk, and the most he did was upload and distribute documents and organize documents. After she became pregnant and gave birth, she had to work full-time for a while, but during this time, with the opportunity to record her parenting experience, she learned photography, learned self-media operations, and then when she returned to the workplace, she successfully entered a media company. Later, he began to learn to shoot videos, learn operation management, and become the main force in his own right. Now, with two like-minded friends, she has established her own cultural media company, and her career is booming.
Because she has been getting better, men always have a proud face when they mention her, and they share more in family affairs than ordinary men.
When a woman has a man's appreciation in her bones, her status in the man's heart is also full of charm and stability.
A psalmist said,
Love is not an assimilant, turning you into my appearance and integrating me into your flesh and blood. Rather, you can be you, and I can be me.
This is the most beautiful and happiest look like worldly love and marriage.