Marriage is an art of management, not only to deal with the relationship between two people, but also to deal with the relationship with their respective families.
The opposition between husband and wife often starts from two things, once any one appears, it is easy to cause a marriage crisis, and even directly lead to the collapse of the marriage.
One
Always dislike the other half
Regarding marriage and family, there is a joke that is silent after laughing and laughing:
In this world, there are two most terrifying creatures, one is someone else's child, and the other is someone else's husband.
In fact, whether it is someone else's husband or someone else's wife, the lethality to marriage is direct and overwhelming. Between husband and wife, as long as there is no appreciation, as long as they are full of pickiness and dislike for each other, this relationship is destined to be difficult to last long.
Reader Zhou Zhou is a stay-at-home mother, even so, she resolutely chose to divorce. The fundamental reason behind this is that she doesn't get a little recognition and respect from men, and some are just endlessly picky and disgusted.
Before getting married, a man's income was much higher than Zhou Zhou's, and he was always full of a sense of superiority in front of Zhou Zhou.
Soon after getting married, Zhou Zhou became pregnant unexpectedly, and she wanted to work until she gave birth, but the man directly asked her to resign under the banner of being good for her.
The man said: I work overtime a few more times a month, and I will earn back your salary, you go home to take care of the baby, and then take good care of the child, just do it. I don't expect anything else from you.
After the child was born, Zhou Zhou had to take care of the child and housework, and he was often so busy that his feet did not touch the ground. Once, she was in a hurry to make supplementary food for the child in the kitchen, and as soon as she turned around, the child rolled down from the sofa and knocked a large bag on the fence on his forehead. When the man came home and saw it, he indiscriminately yelled at Zhou Zhoutong: You only take the child a day, and you can still bring the child like this, you can't be a mother.
Especially when the child accidentally gets sick, the men's pickiness and belittlement will be overwhelming, and even directly scold Zhou and Monday for being useless.
Having had enough of the suffering of being disrespected, in the end, Zhou Zhou decisively filed for divorce. She would rather go out to work by herself and earn three or four thousand yuan a month rather than be a useless "parasite" in the eyes of men.
Two
Ignore the conflicts between your partner and your parents
My friend Sister Zhao is middle-aged, but because of the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, she finally fell out with a man. On the second day after her daughter's college entrance examination ended, Sister Zhao firmly filed for divorce from the man.
Sister Zhao said that after 20 years of marriage, she has been living in a painful entanglement between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and what makes her most chilling is that no matter whether she is right or wrong, men will always be with mud, and they will always be like that:
She's my mother, what can I do? Can't you let one make her work? It's over with just one eye open and one eye closed, and it's pretentious.
But all love is mutual, and only love that goes both ways can be meaningful and establish a real intimate link.
But in the eyes of Sister Zhao's mother-in-law, Sister Zhao will always be an outsider, and she will always be a blood transfusion bag that can be used as a big wrong.
Sister Zhao was born in the city, she is an only child, and her family background is much better than her husband who was born in the countryside. And the man's family is two brothers, and the elder brother has always been more favored and more partial, so since she got married, Sister Zhao has become a tool in the eyes of her mother-in-law who can be used to supplement her eldest son.
For example, when I go home for the Chinese New Year, the chicken legs on the table will always belong to the eldest brother's son, and Sister Zhao's daughter will always eat chicken wings.
For example, Sister Zhao gives gifts to her mother-in-law during the New Year's holidays, but in the blink of an eye, the gifts she brings home will be sent to the eldest brother's house by her mother-in-law.
For example, if the mother-in-law is sick, as long as she is hospitalized, she will ask Sister Zhao to pay in full, and when the social security reimbursement ends after she is discharged from the hospital, the excess amount will go into the eldest brother's pocket.
There are too many similar facts, and when she couldn't bear it anymore, Sister Zhao also complained about her mother-in-law, but every time she had a conflict with her mother-in-law, it ended with a man's bias or silence.
Mourning is greater than heart death, so there are too many sad facts of chickens and dogs, and accumulating and accumulating has become the last straw that crushes the relationship.
There is a saying that says:
Marriage is not only a matter for two people, but also for two families.
In a marriage, whether it is a naked dislike between two people, or when the other half has a conflict with his parents, he can directly ignore it, and he can become the murderer of the marriage.
As long as one appears, the marriage will be very difficult.