How can a family continue to thrive?
Zeng Guofan, a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty, left a sixteen-character family motto: "If you are thrifty, you will be prosperous, and if you are diligent, you will be healthy; Be diligent and thrifty, and never be poor. ”
There are also many people who are familiar with Zeng Guofan's family letters and look for ways to run a family.
As the saying goes, "A mother gives birth to nine sons, and a mother has ten children." ”
In a family, the most difficult thing to deal with is the relationship between siblings, everyone's three views, economic strength, status, etc., are different, and there are not many things to get the love of parents, and contradictions are inevitable.
On the whole, some people go from all over the world, and some people are in their hometowns, so these two situations are the majority.
Zeng Guofan gave it to his two younger brothers, two couplets. From the ins and outs of the couplet, we can know how brothers and sisters deal with their relationships in order to get along.
01
"Thrifty to maintain integrity, reputation with the township party; Straight and tolerant, Qingliu descendants": the brothers and sisters who stay in their hometown, keep the roots of the family.
Zeng Guohuang, the name Cheng Hou, ranked fourth in the clan, so he was the fourth brother of Zeng Guofan.
Zeng Guohuang didn't have a lot of ability, and he relied on his father Zeng Linshu to come forward to donate a prisoner.
Considering his personal skills and the needs of family development, he stayed at home for a long time, taking care of the old and the young, and managing the land and ancestral house.
Several brothers in the family are all officials outside and are very famous, so Zeng Guohuang slowly developed the habit of walking arrogantly and spending money lavishly. He also quarreled with the township over the foundation.
After Zeng Guofan knew his younger brother's behavior, he always wrote letters and repeatedly explained: "Brother Cheng, I don't want to send more silver to my home, I am always afraid that the elders will lose their luxury, the younger generations will lose their pride, and those who do not have more money and their children are not arrogant." ”
Afraid that his younger brother would not obey, Zeng Guofan wrote a letter again, moving out the family tradition of his ancestors, saying: "If my brother can abide by the eight characters of Xinggang Gong and the three unbelievers, and remember that the foolish brother is arrogant and lazy, then the children of the family will be cautious and unconscious. ”
While disciplining his younger brother, Zeng Guofan was worried that his younger brother would have a difficult life, so he often sent money home. The brotherly affection, gratitude to the younger brother, discipline, etc., are all integrated into this couplet.
Fortunately, Zeng Guohuang changed step by step and took care of everything in his hometown. For example, when the Taiping Rebellion spread to Hunan, Zeng Guohuang immediately helped his father Zeng Linshu organize a township regiment and cooperated with the Xiangxiang magistrate to suppress it.
When his parents are old, Zeng Guohuang is the most filial. He also renovated his family's house to make room for his siblings.
In order not to worry his brother who went out, he said: "My brother is quite able to appreciate the true interest of the countryside when he first learns agriculture. ”
Look at today, among many families, brothers and sisters, most of the people who stay in their hometowns are not very capable, but they are the most filial to their parents and have undertaken all the tasks of protecting their ancestral industry.
However, many people who go out think that the brothers in their hometown are greedy for the money of their ancestors and take possession of their parents' inheritance. I didn't think at all how much my brothers in my hometown had paid.
If you don't have a brother from home, will you feel at ease when you go out? Will aging parents be reassured? People who go out can often go home to see, but they can't resist the people at home and the company of their parents day and night.
Helping the brothers in my hometown more is what I should do, and it is also a filial piety to my parents.
As long as there are brothers in our hometown, our roots are there. If my brother leaves, the old house is locked up, and I can't go back to my hometown.
02
"Filial piety and loyalty, light gate; Teachers and friends, education after Kun": brothers and sisters who work hard outside, don't forget the way you came.
Zeng Guoquan, the word Yuanfu, the name Shuchun, ranked ninth in the clan. is the ninth brother of Zeng Guofan.
Zeng Guoquan is one of the leaders of the Hunan army, and he has led an army alone in the sixth year of Xianfeng, made meritorious contributions, and won the top of the ranks.
Along the way, he overcame obstacles, did show talent and courage, and gained fame, but he was arrogant.
After he won the battle, he gave the soldiers a holiday as soon as possible, and let the soldiers do evil; I also returned to my hometown to show the joy of returning home.
In response to Zeng Guoquan's situation, Zeng Guofan paid attention to it, and at the same time sounded the alarm bell and tried his best to correct his character.
For example, in September of the tenth year of Xianfeng, Zeng Guofan saw a letter written by Zeng Guoquan from a colleague, saying that he had changed his ancestral grave in his hometown and forcibly bought the land of his fellow villager Hong's family.
Zeng Guofan reprimanded his younger brother: "Thinking carefully about Yu De's thin ability, stealing a high position, and stealing a false name, it has done the taboo of creation, and the old and young in the family are accustomed to the words 'arrogance, luxury, and disgrace', which is really terrifying." ”
He also said: "Yuanfu's ninth brother or so: the words of the younger brother's persuasion are deep and confidential, and the chapter of 'Doing Something in a Position' is often used to police himself. ”
He also arranged for his younger brother to find "Ouyang Wenzhong Collection". also let his younger brother know how the celebrity Ouyang Xiu behaved.
In many families, brothers who go out to struggle will forget their former family and former selves.
People in the countryside will also become arrogant because their pockets are bulging and they settle in the city, and they will have a bad attitude when they meet the old men and women who come to sell vegetables in the countryside.
There are also some poor people who always hate the rich and the officials, and always want to watch others fall, and they don't feel that they are poor people at heart.
In some families, brothers and sisters have gone out to mix, and the parents in their hometown have gone; After the death of my parents, there was no contact.
Some people, when they become rich, are afraid that their brothers and sisters will borrow money, so they are wary of everything. Or cut off relations with everyone and fly alone.
If a person goes out and gets rich by means that violate morality and the law, it will bring shame to everyone.
But all kinds of things are forgetting the fundamentals of being a person and losing a good family style. There is no habit of remembering bittersweet memories.
No matter how far you go, don't keep in touch with your family, and think about the big family. Be a man and do things in a down-to-earth manner.
The parents are gone, the eldest brother is the father, the eldest sister-in-law is more than the mother, and the family still has to be supported.
03
In this life, people have to cross by themselves.
Ferry yourself, cross your own home. Then you go to the outsiders, don't do it the other way.
If you study Zeng Guofan's couplets, you can see how he, as the eldest brother, teaches his younger brother, guides his family style, and helps his brothers and sisters.
Whether you are in your hometown or in other places, what runs through your life is family.
Put your heart at home, put your emotions at home, and everything will be prosperous at home.
Good family, deep brotherhood, sibling matching.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.