Blindly comparing yourself with others is just an emotional product.
To say that one of the major characteristics of Chinese is that they like "comparison", I believe that no one has objections;
When I was young, I thought that the "problem" of love was owned by a small number of people;
As I grew older and more experienced, I found that the habit of love comparison is common to most people;
If you just compare it and find yourself behind others, and you see the wisdom of the people, catch up, or cooperate with each other, I won't say anything, because this is a good phenomenon;
The problem is that I found that the logic of many people's comparisons makes people laugh and cry, and the comparison only brings negative emotional products, except for torturing themselves, basically does not bring any positive changes.
For example, when I see others getting promoted and raising, buying a big house, settling in a big city, and increasing their savings, I feel very anxious and jealous.
When I found that people were beautiful and in good shape, my husband loved them, my family was harmonious, and my children were promising, I was angry and unhappy.
Seeing that people are unlucky, climbing high and falling heavy, failing to start a business, and being unemployed in middle age, I feel comfortable and hatefully think that this is the rotation of feng shui;
But in fact, his life has not improved, and it is only because others have suffered that he seems to be not very miserable;
I think people who often have this mentality are really speechless.
I always want to compete with others, others are worse than myself, so I feel at ease and happy, others are better than myself, I am upset, I am really not tired!
When you compare yourself to others, the question is, how do you compare?
The cards in everyone's hands are not the same, the original family from a young age and the experience of growing up are different, how do you know for sure, you are moving forward or lagging behind?
How do you know all about a person?
A well-dressed white-collar worker who deals with the upper echelons may be suffering from depression;
An employee with outstanding performance and outstanding ability may be experiencing workplace bullying;
A friend or classmate who is studying at a prestigious school may be going in the wrong direction;
A man who is counting on gilding abroad may have a very bad family of origin;
Anything you see, something that sparkles on someone else, may be temporary, or fake, or even a talisman;
And any other person's downfall, lovelorn, debt, and trough that you think may be a reminder and opportunity for them to become better and stronger.
As the saying goes, impermanence is the normal state of life.
People who are destitute today may rise to prominence in a year or two, and those who made money yesterday may go bankrupt overnight.
You always pay attention to other people's dynamics, focus on others, and then let yourself have internal friction and emotions, you are not able to get along with yourself.
Moreover, life is about subjective feelings, not the eyes of others;
What we can compare is only what can be specifically quantified, and what really affects a person's happiness is often the unquantifiable or unquantifiable things that cannot be seen or touched;
For example, you work 12 hours a day and earn 30,000 yuan a month;
Compared with people who work 8 hours a day and earn 10,000 yuan a month, who is stronger and who is more powerful?
If everyone has two days off and other benefits are similar, your hourly wage is 114 yuan, and others' hourly wage is 57 yuan;
It looks like you're way ahead;
But you work overtime for a long time, resulting in your cervical spine is very bad, your eyesight is very bad, and you don't have much time to develop your side hustle or hobbies;
People who don't work overtime, although they earn less than you, have better health, less internal friction, and more freedom;
Which of you do you say is better?
How to compare?
If you add that people are engaged in a job that they like and are suitable for, they have development prospects, a good team atmosphere, a positive corporate culture, and people have time to spend with their families;
And your workplace environment is intrigued, requires more emotional labor, and the industry has begun to show signs of decline, so the happiness of others is something you can't compare.
In fact, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses;
If you compare your own strengths with the shortcomings of others, you will become more and more proud;
If you compare your own shortcomings with the strengths of others, you will become more and more anxious.
In fact, we can only compare the results, but these results are all for a reason, and the reasons are different, and it really doesn't make sense to compare them.
END