Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, once put forward a point of view, saying that the main part of the personality is basically formed when the superego appears around the age of 6.
Has your life been smoother or more bumpy? Romance, market, war or literary films? Probably already had a basic vein at the age of six.
Coincidentally, Eric · Byrne, the founder of the theory of interpersonal communication analysis, also put forward a similar view, he believes that a person's life plan begins before the age of 6, that is, how we spend this life, and a child before the age of 6 basically writes the outline.
So, today we elaborate from the perspective of interpersonal communication analysis (TA):
- Why is the script of life formed before the age of 6?
- Is it impossible to change the script of life after it is formed?
- How can a consultant help a client from a script analysis perspective?
01
How is the script of life formed?
The concept of life script is actually based on the concept of script in computer theory, that is, it is like a program, which we pre-order.
Byrne, the founder of the Theory of Communication Analysis (TA), said that the life script is a childhood plan for a lifetime, which is formed in childhood, reinforced by parents, confirmed by life events, and culminated by individual choices, and realized step by step in life planning.
The script of life is to open the password of your own life:
- What kind of person am I?
- What choices will I make?
- How do I relate to others?
- What kind of life will I live?
- What will happen to me?
It can be said that the script of life is the ultimate guiding principle for your choices, and you don't know why you do it, but you do it every time. Your life is your own autobiography written over and over again using your life script.
Here's an example:
There was a lady whose father had domestic violence and often beat her. When she grew up, the first boyfriend she found broke up because he beat her. found a second boyfriend, also beat her, and broke up again. found a third boyfriend, very honest and gentle, and now it finally got better, so they got married. As a result, less than three years after marriage, the man beat her again.
Later, someone else asked the man: Seeing that you are usually so honest, how can you beat your wife? He said: My wife really forced me too hard that time, and I usually quarrel and forget it, but that time she scolded me and said, "You beat, you beat me, if you don't beat you, you're not a man." I really couldn't get off the stage at that time, so I couldn't hold back...... This is the "always" script.
In the above case, this is script 1: the "always" script.
People who have "always" scripts often say "why does this happen to me".
图源/pexels
Script 2: "Eternity" screenplay.
People who have this script, don't believe in their own power, don't believe that they can solve the problem. At the same time, they don't trust others to help them, so they don't really ask for help.
The long-term manifestation of the "never" script is that it has been very passive, withdrawn, and dissatisfied with life, but has never taken its life seriously. Instead of being an adult, I am in a state of being a child and expecting others to solve my own problems, and at the same time I keep complaining that others do not value me and do not solve problems for me.
For example:
One of the clients in the consultation room complained: I changed jobs again, and this is my fifth job in two years. I don't know what's wrong, I'm a villain, and people are against me everywhere. When I say east, he wants to say west. I knew he was wrong, but he didn't listen to me!
Counselor: Why do you think that's why?
Visitor: They're so stubborn, it's hard to work together. I'm not happy doing it, maybe I should change jobs!
The difference between an "always" script and a "never" script is:
"Always" script: similar troubles, similar difficulties, happen to the same person over and over again. "Never" script: a person's trouble, a difficulty, as if it can never be solved.
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02
After the life script is formed, can't it be changed?
When it comes to scripting, the Theory of Communication Analysis (TA) divides it into 4 levels.
One level is the cultural script, such as the Chinese culture, which is a big culture.
In our culture, we have different expectations of gender, and despite the fact that we have entered the developing world and are doing well in many places, the preference for sons over women is still there.
When a woman is too successful in her career, society will criticize her for neglecting her family. Including herself, if she is not going well emotionally and in marriage, it is not easy for her to identify with herself.
In our culture, it is not easy to identify with oneself, and it is more difficult to gain the approval of others or society as a whole, unless the person is in a very small circle.
The second level is called subculture scripting, which refers to the different, small, and aforementioned circles.
For example, the actor group will have its own subculture; The military community, with its own subculture; Teacher groups, and even different ethnic minorities, each ethnic group will have its own subculture. Even in terms of general classification, there will be some subcultures in the south and north.
The third level is the influence of the family and the family, and the last level is our personal script, that is, some of the choices that individuals make in the process of growing up.
When talking about family and family scripts, Byrne, the founder of Communication Analysis Theory (TA), mentioned that one is the direct nurturing parent, but there are many people who were raised by grandparents and grandparents, which has a cross-generational influence.
Some intergenerational influences are direct, with children living with the elderly or growing up with them; But there are also some children who may never see them, and when the child is born, they are no longer there, but this kind of cross-generational influence is still there.
And in the research of TA communication analysts, they found that these cross-generational influences are actually not easy to tease out.
So if we look at the intergenerational script, we will find that it is through a family system, through some beliefs, thoughts, emotional expressions, emotions, characteristics, behaviors, and even physical conditions, physical symptoms or diseases, in the family to repeat the life history of an ancestor in the family.
For example, during counseling, some clients may experience death anxiety at a certain age.
When we look for the source of death anxiety, we see that many men in his family died at a similar age, such as between the ages of 40 and 50. So as the visitor gets closer and closer to this age group, his death anxiety will grow.
In the clinical practice of counseling, when an analyst interviews a client, an important part of it is to trace the influence of the grandparents.
Probably in addition to the influence of our parents, we also have to look at the influence of our grandparents.
One of the most effective and easy ways to ask your grandparents about the impact is to ask what kind of life your grandparents lived.
For example, my grandfather and my maternal grandfather were both farmers, but it is very interesting that my grandmother and my maternal grandmother were not farmers, and their original families were both engaged in the business of medicinal herbs. So it's interesting to find that in my personal development and upbringing, because I'm a woman, I'm actually more influenced by my grandmothers on both sides, even though I haven't lived with them for as long.
So you can also think about what kind of situation you are in, what kind of life your grandparents have, and that's also a very important part of exploring your life script.
Many people will think: can't the script be changed? How can I change that?
The first step is to become aware of our own script, and when we are aware of it, we have the power to change.
But many times we don't realize our script and unintentionally make a lot of major life decisions. Under the influence of the subconscious, we inadvertently distort objective facts, a way of "confirming" the script.
So that's why everyone keeps learning, constantly exploring themselves, doing psychological counseling, etc., no matter what way they do, they are actually aware of their own scripts through different dimensions, and form their own decisions in the moment.
Interpersonal communication analysis is a course that is very suitable for learning and becoming aware of the script of life, and the founder Byrne wrote in his book "The Script of Life" that this course may become a discipline that can help you change your destiny.
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03
What are some of the technical life-changing scripts in TA?
Life script is an important concept in the psychology of interpersonal communication analysis (also known as Transactional Analysis, referred to as TA), founded by Eric · Byrne in the 60s of the 20th century and developed a complete system.
You may wonder how human beings, with their abundant wisdom, great self-awareness, desire for truth, and self-pursuit, allow ourselves to live in such a mechanical life full of pain and self-deception, completely dependent on the scripts we built up as children?
Reason 1: We love our parents and are unconsciously loyal to them; Reason 2: Living according to the established script, feeling more relaxed, forming a self-comfort zone; Reason 3: Lack of awareness. Due to the distractions of the outside world, we are increasingly unconscious, resulting in many people not realizing what they are doing to themselves and others in the present, and thus falling into the established script.
While we all have scripts, this can be changed.
A very important reason is that we all have fluid selves. The ego is not static, but changes with your self-awareness, with your environment and the way you behave. Although "three years old looks at the young and six years old looks old" is a general rule, the realization of "life transformation" will also happen.
In interpersonal communication psychology, students will learn to use their "self-state" to change the way they communicate, thus changing the direction of the script, and in the long run, changing the outcome of the original script.
In clinical practice, TA Communication Analysts require a great deal of learning and training, including:
- Read the biography;
- Carefully record and analyze the communication process of important people around you;
- Meet a large number of clients with a wide variety of programs that are programmed in early childhood;
- In addition, it is necessary to make predictions and predictions about the past life and future life of the long-term counseling visitor.
The purpose of this is to obtain the script information at a faster speed, and the faster and more accurate the information obtained, the faster and more effective the counselor will be able to obtain the relevant information related to the script in the client's consultation, so as to improve the efficiency of the consultation, save the time of case conceptualization, and focus on solving the problem of the case consultation.
Through professional observation and listening, the counselor will find that each person has unique postures, gestures, quirks, knee-jerk movements or disorders that indicate that he is living in his or her own script, or has "entered" the script, which are the unique "script signals" of each person.
As long as the "script signal" still appears, no matter how much "progress" he makes, the individual's problems remain unresolved.
Visual script signals
For example, a well-dressed woman with very torn shoes, her script requires her to suffer "rejection", such as posture and mannerisms, and head tilt is the most common script signal in the "martyr" and "street child" scripts.
Sound script signal
In addition to visual and acoustic signals, an experienced TA communication analyst, even if he has never met the client and knows nothing about his experience, can get a lot of information about the patient after listening to a tape from a counseling group for ten or twenty minutes. Such as his family background, favorite games, and his eventual fate.
In Interpersonal Communication Analytics, you will be taught how to listen. How you listen depends on what's going on in the listener's head, not what's going on outside.
If you have an appeal to building a relationship and want to change your own destiny by changing the way you communicate or help others analyze and change your destiny, it is recommended to study the "Introduction to Interpersonal Communication Analysis TA" jointly launched by Simple Psychology Uni & China Communication Analysis Association.
The original price is 2980 yuan, and the group purchase price is 2780 yuan
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04
What can you expect from this course?
Highlight 1: The practical value is extremely high, and it is highly recommended by psychological masters
Master Owen · Yaron, in "Existential Psychological Counseling", focuses on interpersonal communication analysis as an existential-oriented psychological counseling school; John · MacLeod opens an entire chapter in Introduction to Psychological Counseling (4th Edition) to introduce "interpersonal communication analysis"!
Since its inception for more than 60 years, TA has become a credit course at the University of Oxford, United Kingdom has established professional associations or research institutes in 66 countries and regions around the world, and is widely used in psychological counseling, education and organizational development.
TA's discourse gives easy-to-understand material, is highly actionable, and provides an easy-to-learn framework.
It can be directly applied to counseling, business organizations, school education and psychological counseling, and has become a "sharp tool" for counselors to be competent in various work scenarios. It is also a practical tool for psychological counselors to generate income and expand their popularity.
This is also the reason why TA, as a theory, is scrambling to be learned by the presidents of Fortune 500 districts and White House think tanks.
- Benjamin Spock, author of "Spock Parenting" and United States "Father of Parenting" Ben·jamin Spock
- · Donald, CEO of the RAND Corporation and Assistant Secretary of State of United States Donald B. Rice
- Hugh Crean, President of Citigroup, a Fortune 50·0 company, Hugh Crean
- 世界500强福特汽车总裁苏珊·西施克(SusanCischke)
- 世界500强波音公司副总裁罗伯特· J.帕斯特里克（RobertJ.Pasterick）
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Highlight 2: The master is live face-to-face, refusing to read hard behind closed doors
The International Association for Communication Analysis (ITAA) and the European Association for Analysis of Communication (EATA) have set a special standard for the introductory course on the theory of interpersonal communication analysis, called TA101.
According to the TA101 curriculum standards recognized by the International Association for Communication Analysis (ITAA), we have created an exclusive TA101 course for Chinese students. Trainees who complete the training will receive the "TA101 Certification" certificate issued by ITAA and the "TA101 Certification" certificate issued by CTAA. In the future, they can continue to participate in continuous training programs such as TA Application Consultant and International Communication Analyst (CTA) tailored for Chinese students.
Simple Psychology cooperated with famous teachers from the China Association for Communication Analysis (CTAA) to record a 9-hour video course to introduce TA theories and tools under the framework of the 101 course recognized by the International TA Association.
There is also a 9-hour live interactive course by CTAA famous teachers, which will take you to experience and use TA, and you can apply it to your own consultation, training, classroom and life after learning.
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Highlight 3: Three international authoritative certifications
This course helps you take your first steps towards becoming a communications analyst.
Students who complete the training will receive the certificate of academic hours issued by the "TA Association × Simple Psychology", the TA101 certification certificate, and can apply for continuing education credits from the Chinese Psychological Society, and at the same time obtain the "Hour Certificate issued by the Chinese TA Association".
Introduction to Interpersonal Communication Analysis (TA)
Authoritative certification: International Certificate + Chinese Psychological Society Continuing Education Credit Immersion Teaching: 7 major themes + 9 hours of intensive lectures + 9 hours of live broadcast experience High-quality service: supporting homework + 1-to-1 review + accompanying community + live Q&A + HD video + key summary + transcript assisted learning
The original price is 2980 yuan, and the group purchase price is 2780 yuan
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