#长文创作激励计划#
Huang Zhizhong said in "Wonderful Sayings":
"Nine times out of ten, the troubles of life come from interpersonal relationships;
Nine times out of ten, the trouble in interpersonal relationships is due to communication problems;
The problem with communication is likely to be that you chose the wrong person in the first place. ”
It's like this cartoon.
Chickens have chicken words, ducks have duck words, the two are not on the same channel, no matter how much you say, it's useless.
The same is true between people.
Guo Degang once said: "If you go to debate with the ruffians and hooligans, the hooligans will beat you if they don't understand, it's not his problem, it's your problem." ”
Trying to argue with low-level people is a drain on oneself.
In the face of their entanglement, turning around in time and being at peace with each other is the real sobriety.
01
- Argue with the bar, you will always be the loser.
Writer Su Qin said: Don't follow the bar, you can't win, because in his narrow world, you are the absolute truth.
Even if you put the facts in front of you, he can say that what is white is black and what is right is wrong.
They think they are sharp and eloquent, but in the eyes of others, they are only mean and angry.
In the face of this group of people, if you respond with even one word, you have already lost.
Wang Meng once portrayed a man with "eloquence" in the novel:
When he went to the hospital, the doctor politely asked him to be seated.
He asked rhetorically: Why sit? Are you going to deprive me of my right not to sit?
The doctor didn't mind, poured him a glass of water, and said, "Please drink water." ”
The man continued to raise the bar: "It's one-sided, ridiculous, not all water can be drunk. For example, if you mix potassium cyanide in your water, you should never drink it. ”
The doctor explained, "I didn't put poison." You can rest assured! ”
The man grabbed the handle and said, "Who said you put poison?" Did I falsely accuse you of poison? ”
Seeing this, the doctor reluctantly changed the subject and said, "The weather is good today." ”
The man was even more energetic: "Pure nonsense! Just because the weather is good doesn't mean it's good all over the world. In the Arctic, for example, the weather is very bad today, with strong winds, long nights, and icebergs crashing. ”
The doctor was speechless and had no choice but to stop the treatment and let the patient go back.
The bar spirit regards lifting the bar as a maverick, and there is a feeling that everyone is drunk and I am sober.
Arguing with the bar will only exhaust you.
Just as the entrepreneur Yin Mingshan once said: Whenever you encounter something, you have to argue whether you win or lose, if you are not bitter, who is bitter?
Let others raise the bar, follow others to find fault, if the heart is not moving, other people's tongues and swords will not hurt themselves.
always understand that no matter how many words you say, you can't beat a sentence of "whatever you want"; No matter how much truth there is, it is better to say "let it go".
02
- To fight against a fool is to fight against yourself.
Guo Degang has such a paragraph in cross talk:
"Insiders don't argue with laymen.
For example, I said to a rocket scientist, your rocket fuel is not good, I think you have to burn firewood, preferably coal, coal has to be selected coal, washing coal is not good.
If a scientist looks at me squarely, then he loses. ”
So, don't fight with stupid people, or outsiders will think that stupid people are you.
I have followed a writer named Zhang Hongjie before.
One day, he complained on Weibo: He invited his uncle to eat fat cattle at noon, and he had another battle with his uncle.
At the dinner table, the uncle questioned Zhang Hongjie: You study history is nonsense, and history has no truth; You always say that North Korea hit South Korea first, and you watched? Did you participate?
Zhang Hongjie hurriedly explained: Uncle, there are all kinds of archives here!
For example, what we ate at noon today, you may not remember it in a month, and then talk about it, it is obviously a fat cow, but you have to say that you eat stewed stew.
But if the menu is left and the receipt is left, this matter can be explained clearly, how can it be called that there is no truth in history?
The basis for the study of history is these things that have been left behind.
The old uncle said angrily, "Sure enough, the more knowledge you have, the more crooked reasoning you have!" ”
Zhang Hongjie is a postdoctoral fellow in the Department of History of Tsinghua University, and has published more than ten monographs such as "The Seven Faces of the Ming Dynasty" and "The Prosperous Age of Hunger".
Even so, Zhang Hongjie spent half a day explaining and popularizing science with his uncle, but it was still useless.
For a while, the comments were enthusiastic.
One comment was glaring: "You have time to compete with your elderly uncle, you might as well spend more time writing a few more manuscripts!" ”
A person's cognitive radius determines his perception of things.
The well frog cannot speak of the sea, because it is completely out of its field of vision;
The summer worm is not able to speak of ice, because it is completely beyond its life;
Competing with an ignorant person is undoubtedly playing the piano to a cow and a chicken and a duck, and it will only make you look stupid.
No one can untie the shackles in his mind that are trapped by his own mind.
Oscar Wilde once said that it is always futile to talk to someone about something he does not understand.
The best way to engage with them is:
It's good that you keep your opinion, I won't change you, and you don't want to influence me.
03
- When you get along with giant babies, it's useless to talk too much.
Have you ever seen a bear child lose his temper?
They splashed and rolled, and cried and cried.
If you leave them alone, they will get tired and stop.
But if you ignore them, they will become more and more violent, and even cause harm to those around them.
The same is true for giant babies, and entanglement with them will only make you physically and mentally exhausted.
Netizen @Nunu has told about one of his experiences.
When she just graduated and joined the workforce, she found that there was an isolated woman in the company, and an old employee reminded her to try not to intersect with that woman.
Nunu didn't know why, but felt that the woman looked quiet and lonely, so he took the initiative to add her through the group of colleagues.
The two encouraged each other, helped each other, and gradually became friends.
But after a long time, she found that women often complained, and they were very self-conscious.
During work hours, the woman didn't care about whether Nunu was busy with work or not, and WeChat messages were one after another, either complaining about the intensity of KPIs, or complaining about colleagues watching people put down dishes......
When off work, women often make cold voice calls, and they don't care whether Nunu is convenient or not, they keep calling if they don't answer, and they chatter for more than half an hour.
Nunu spends a lot of energy every day comforting and persuading women, but women don't listen to them at all.
On the contrary, it is myself, and I am also mired in negative energy under its influence, and I don't like to see anything.
I often lose my temper with my family, have conflicts, and even have various problems at work.
When you get along with giant babies, it's useless to talk too much.
Because they never want to draw energy from others, and they don't care if you're dead or alive.
No matter how much you say, they won't change.
Writer Bai Luomei said in "Lovesickness":
"Human emotions are an infectious disease, and when you can't infect a person, you must be infected by it."
What kind of emotions others have is his freedom and cannot be controlled.
But not to be trapped in other people's emotions, not to pay for other people's emotions, is something we can choose independently.
Learn to adjust your mindset and focus away from focusing on the emotions of others and focusing on improving and strengthening yourself.
Be brave and draw a line with the emotional giants and protect your energy magnetic field.
▽
The philosopher Schopenhauer once said:
"There is only one way we can deal with those fools and stupid people: don't talk to such people."
Don't compete with the bar, don't talk about right and wrong with stupid people, and talk about cause and effect with different giant babies.
When you meet people on different channels, silently staying away is the best fulfillment for each other.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.