Life is like chess, some people take one step at a time, and some people take one step at a time to see ten steps.
As far as the eye can see, it is the poetry of life and the distance.
As a family member, you should be long-sighted and don't always focus on the problems in front of you.
Usually, we have to get along with our relatives, but you can only manage yourself, and you can only give advice on the words and deeds of your parents, brothers and sisters, and often you can't help.
If you remain "indifferent" to the following three things, it means that you have a big pattern and can go far in silence.
01
To be "indifferent" to the partiality of one's parents is to learn to be self-reliant.
Why do parents give you less money and more money for other people, and then you are indignant? The root cause is that you are dependent on your family, thinking that if you get property from your family, you can get rich quickly.
If you gnaw at the old, then once your parents give you less benefits, they will immediately jump up.
There is a kind of person who, since he left school, rarely asks about his parents' wealth, where his parents' money is used, and who the house is for, and he is too lazy to care.
It seems that such a person is very ignorant, but in fact, he has long quit his dependence on his original family. And he survived the trough and worked hard to create a world.
In fact, the poorer the person, the more dependent on the family of origin, always staring at their proud parents, and even often reaching out to their parents to ask for money.
In the TV series "It's All Good", her daughter Su Mingyu was not favored by her mother since she was a child, she wanted to buy a homework book, but her mother didn't agree, so there was no way; She wanted to go to the university of her dreams, and her mother forced her to go to a free teacher's school.
After being treated badly by her mother many times, Su Mingyu understood that it would be good to rely on herself. Therefore, after she went to work, she finally lived as herself, and she was able to live a self-disciplined life, and she had more than one year after another.
The son of the family, Su Mingcheng, has been loved by his mother since he was a child and is known as "Ma Bao Nan".
With his mother's support behind him, Su Mingcheng showed off his might, and his attitude towards Su Mingyu was very unfriendly, and he even took action. Later, he got married, and he was also very cruel to his wife Julie, just like bullying his sister back then.
Under the pampering of his mother, he has no other ability except to be able to speak well. It wasn't until his mother died that he panicked.
In contrast, the doted on people can't go far; Those who are wronged can live a wonderful life. After seeing through this, and then looking at the partiality of your parents, you feel that it doesn't matter.
As a post-70s generation, I can think that my parents' lifetime savings have not exceeded 50,000 yuan. It's eccentricity, that's it. Instead of fighting for family wealth, it is better to go it alone.
There should be many people who are similar to me, or even more free and easy than me, even if they have hundreds of thousands of families, they are indifferent.
Life is short for decades, don't be trapped by your original family for most of your life, only you can heal yourself.
02
"Indifferent" to the behavior of not being filial enough to brothers and sisters is to insist on their own responsibility.
The poor do not blame the father, the filial piety is not better than the brother, and the bitterness does not blame the wife. This is a good character recognized by everyone.
When you blame your siblings for not being filial enough, you will find an interesting phenomenon: "Everyone thinks that you are the least filial person." The reasons are varied. ”
Everyone looks at the problem from their own point of view, so they are the most filial people, and others are not good enough. The root cause is because of everything that others do, you don't see, you don't know enough, you can't empathize.
If the parents can't walk, who is more filial than the person who goes to help the parents cook a meal, or the person who gives the parents a hundred dollars? I really can't tell.
Pushing his parents for a walk in a wheelchair, taking them to the doctor, chatting with them, and giving them living expenses...... They are all filial piety, but they cannot be compared.
Writer Bi Shumin said: "Hurry up and do your filial piety for your parents." Maybe it's a mansion, maybe it's a brick ...... Maybe it's a flowery dress, maybe it's a pair of clean old shoes. ”
Yes, everyone does their best, and filial piety is much easier.
Even if you find that other siblings are avoiding filial piety, and you are indifferent, then you will truly understand the wisdom of "not comparing", and you will manage your parents with peace of mind.
There are always people who, in the case of other siblings regardless of their parents, shoulder the task of filial piety alone. suffered a loss, but his heart is shining, and life is beautiful.
03
To complain about your brothers and sisters, "indifference" means that you have the power to show weakness.
In this society, we have many platforms to obtain knowledge, so what news comes into your life in one go.
Too many people, who have grievances against society, always say something negative energy.
In a big family, there are also grievances. No matter how well you do, you can't please everyone.
Xiao Zhang, who is from the same village as me, runs a song and dance hall in the county seat, and his younger brother is arranged to be a security guard.
Out of family affection, Xiao Zhang gave his younger brother a salary of 200 more per month.
After a few months, my brother complained: "Two hundred more yuan, but I don't see it when I do so many things." ”
Later, when the younger brother returned to the village, he said how bad Xiao Zhang was and how he exploited his family.
Xiao Zhang knows his brother's words and deeds, and it is not the same thing. Later, my younger brother went to work as a security guard in another community, and found that the salary was low and he was often angry, so he remembered Xiao Zhang's goodness.
After reading the story of "Guilty of Petitioning", we warmly praised Lin Xiang's pattern, and Lian Po, as a general, has a smaller pattern.
When relatives get along, you should learn to be like you, when you encounter contradictions, hide away by yourself, your weakness is the strength of unity.
Lend money to relatives, find jobs for relatives, help younger generations study, etc., don't care, you pay no equals, they are all weak forces, don't know.
04
Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read.
If everyone cares about small things for a long time, there will be no way for the family to live.
There are always people who should take the initiative to quiet down and let the family atmosphere change.
Educator Zhou Bingqing said: "Serve your relatives, your voice is easy to be silent, don't shout loudly because of trivial matters." ”
What can make you indignant in the family is basically a small matter of sesame seeds, pick up a thousand catties, and put it down for two or two.
When you are detached from your family and live positively, then you can embrace the world with open arms.
To be an indifferent person is not to be indifferent and ruthless, but to be wise in the housekeeper, put aside all kinds of prejudices and interests, and become the guardian of the family.
If the heart does not move, what about the wind?
If people are generous, you and I can hold the boat in our stomachs.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The source of the pictures in the article is from the Internet.