In the impression of ordinary people, my mother likes to nag, has a soft heart, and does not distinguish between right and wrong.
If you are such a mother, then your family will not be at peace, and your children will not be able to grow up.
Loving family is a beautiful feeling, but love without scale has become a shackle in life.
As a woman, don't always expect men to be far-sighted, but also to look into the distance, running a house is like playing chess, taking one step to see three steps and thinking ten steps.
It is recommended that mothers insist on "three don't say, three don't help, and three don't get used to".
01
Don't say three, learn to encourage.
Good words are warm in three winters, and bad words are hurtful and cold in June.
When we are at home, we can't stop talking, but we have to learn to choose, we have to adjust our tone, and we must not open our mouths.
If you look at the family as a whole, you will find that everyone has their own personality and goals, and they need encouragement. However, we always "habitually refute", and invisibly suppress people.
It's still used to "three don't say", shutting up is cultivation, and silence is gold.
First, not to talk about the father's ugliness in front of the child, so as to prevent the father from losing his majesty.
In the TV series "It's All Good", Su Daqiang is always beaten and scolded by his wife.
One day, Su Daqiang hid the bonus of the unit, and after his wife found out, she not only cursed, but also did it. Su Daqiang didn't dare to refute. His daughter stood aside and began to sneer.
Su Daqiang's son, Su Mingzhe, saw the condition of his parents and said, "You have disappointed me too much. ”
A father who loses his majesty at home has no effect on the education of his children. The status of the father is even lower than that of the child, and he looks pitiful.
There are festivals between parents, and there are also things that are wrong, and they should communicate privately, and what they give to their children is always a tall and respected image.
Second, don't talk about the child's shortcomings in front of a group of people, and avoid all kinds of disgust and inferiority complex for the child.
Children have self-esteem. Many mothers say things like "their children have bad grades and made mistakes last time" at every turn. That's a blow to self-esteem.
Children who cannot be looked down upon by their parents will always bow their heads when they go into society, and will not be looked down upon by relatives and friends.
When a child loses confidence, he loses his purpose and hope.
Third, not always in the family, talk about how difficult it is to work and live at home, and avoid complaining.
Some mothers, who have a lot of negative energy, always accuse their fathers of having too little income, too much social pressure, and complicated interpersonal relationships.
Always transmitting negative energy, this is a sign of poor heart. Any family member, in such an environment, will not see hope, and will be depressed in their hearts.
Mothers should learn to look for the good in those around them and encourage them more. For example, if the child is dressed neatly today, and the husband comes home on time, it can be praised.
02
Three do not help, people should be independent.
Relying on who is inferior to oneself is the "fundamental" of success in life.
If the mother becomes everyone's dependence, over time it will become everyone's dependence.
Mothers will also grow old and eventually become unreliable. And the children are still dependent, and this is the tragedy.
First, what the child can do independently, do not help.
As a post-70s generation, I did a lot of farm work.
During the holidays, my family and I went to harvest rice.
When I came home from the field, I had to carry a load of grain, about fifty or sixty pounds.
No one would help me, and my mother just said a word of encouragement: "Come on, I'll be home soon." ”
Everyone should do what they can, and not rely on their mothers to help.
Doing homework, reading a book, carrying water, falling out with a playmate...... These should be handled by the child independently, and the mother watched from the sidelines, saying that she could not help.
Second, the child's decision when he becomes an adult does not help.
The child is in his twenties, but he has to ask his mother about everything.
I've met some boys and met girls I like, but I don't dare to decide whether to pursue them. So he went home and asked his mother.
It's easy to miss the opportunity to fall in love, and you'll be looked down upon by girls.
Tell your child to learn to make their own decisions and to take responsibility for their decisions.
Mothers can give advice to their children, but they should not force them and do not resent them because they do not listen.
Third, the child is criticized by the father, and does not help.
A lot of mothers like to take care of their shorts. Even if the father criticizes the child, the mother will think that the father is too harsh and savage.
Every time, the father criticized, and the mother protected the short. The majesty of the father is gone, and the father simply does not care about the child. The child has no fear in front of his father. There is no way to do it.
As long as the father is justified and not savage, he is allowed to educate his children. The growth of children is the joint responsibility of parents.
There may be differences in the parent's education methods, but they cannot deny each other, but seek common ground while reserving differences.
Allowing each person to have independent thoughts, behaviors, decisions, and life trajectories will lead to the development of the family.
03
Three are not used to it, and do not be a loving mother.
Many mothers, when they see their children suffering a little, and what is wrong with their families, they are either distressed or patient. Take love to the extreme.
If you are not careful, there will be the problem of "loving mothers and losing children"; Love has a bottom line, don't turn love into "habitual".
First of all, the child's grades are not good, he is not used to it, and he is forced to study.
Reading is the best way out for ordinary children. As a mother, forcing her children to read is true love. If the child is very hard to study, the mother will feel distressed, and she will say something like "forget it, rest more", and the child will not be able to study well.
Mothers should know that if they loosen themselves, their children will be loosened, and their grades will naturally plummet.
Then, the child breaks the rules, is not used to it, and refuses to behave rashly.
The child is very naughty, destroys public property, and treats people savagely. Let's say you draw a line for your car.
The mother sees that the child is stubborn and does not stop it, and thinks that "he is still young", which is the behavior of conniving at the child.
"Stealing a needle when you are a child, you will grow up to be a thief", this kind of truth, my mother should know.
In the end, the mother-in-law intervened in the small family, was not used to it, and kept her distance.
There are families that live together for generations. If the child has a problem, the grandparents will take care of it.
When the husband and wife quarreled, the grandparents began to preach. The family's money will be asked by the grandparents clearly, and they must be calculated.
Mother, you are still the role of a daughter-in-law, and you should be in charge of the small family, rather than the big family. Keeping a distance from the elderly is a way to let a small family grow up on their own.
Compassion is the image of a mother, but compassion is not weakness, but strength, firmness, and courage.
04
Hugo said: "Laziness is a mother who has a son: robbery, and a daughter: hunger." ”
The mother is the virtuous helper of the family, and if you consider the family relationship in the long run, the family will become more and more prosperous when the children grow up and fulfill their filial piety.
Don't be a mother with "long hair and short knowledge", get by, and everything is up to your own temperament.
Taking care of oneself is the best way to teach children, the best help to fathers, and the best care for the elderly.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.