Introduction
Parents with boys in the family must have experienced such a scene: every time they want to reason with their children, they still can't help but lose their temper with their children, and the children don't seem to have a long memory. In fact, it is not their problem that children do not have a long memory, but that the parents' education methods need to be adjusted.
01
The husband is intimate and the son is sensible, why are people so happy? Bao Ma's answer is too wise
Xiaofang and her cousin grew up together since childhood, and they have a good relationship, but they have secret rivalries in many things. When I was a child, I was better than my academic performance, and now I am better than my children and my husband.
Although Xiaofang hopes that her cousin will be happy, every time she sees her cousin's husband so considerate, who can do housework and take care of the children, and her son is so obedient, and her husband is always not strong, and the children often make people angry, Xiaofang is inevitably a little unbalanced in her heart.
"Sister, you are so happy, you have a good husband and an obedient son. My son always makes me angry, and I don't know what to do if I say a truth many times to no avail. Xiaofang complained to her cousin.
"Educating boys about tantrums and reasoning doesn't work much. You need to get the facts clear with him first, tell him what you think concisely, so that he knows what to do. My cousin said.
Xiaofang took her cousin's words to heart, and no longer lost her temper with her son, but educated her children according to this method, and sure enough, the child's performance has improved a lot, and she is a lot less angry.
Unexpectedly, the children who have been angry before are actually just because they used the wrong education methods. If only I had known about this method earlier.
Boys are already naughty and often make mistakes that upset their parents. But sometimes, the more reasonable the parents, the more angry they become, and it seems that only tantrums can calm the children.
However, in the end, there was not much benefit, and the parents themselves were so angry that both parties were unhappy. This method of education obviously does not work, and only by finding the right method can we make both children and parents happier.
02
Why is it so ineffective to lose your temper and reason with boys?
Cause the child to rebel
When parents try to educate their children in a reasonable way, children often feel preached and dissatisfied. This dissatisfaction is especially pronounced among boys, who have a higher sense of self-esteem and personal awareness.
When parents repeatedly reason, boys may become rebellious and think that their parents are suppressing their opinions and ideas. This emotional resistance makes them reluctant to change their behavior, and may even take a confrontational approach to express their dissatisfaction.
Causes the child to have a violent personality
Parents often feel helpless and angry when continuous persuasion fails, and may then resort to beating and scolding to control their children. However, even if the child behaves obediently after being beaten and scolded, the grievances and anger in his heart will accumulate.
Especially in boys, this kind of negative emotions can easily make them violent and irritable. This emotional performance not only affects their mental health, but can also have a negative impact on their future relationships and character development.
Parent-child relationship is affected
When parents frequently reason with their children, children will feel bored and tired, and gradually lose interest in their parents' teachings. If parents lose their temper with their children when reasoning is ineffective, children will become afraid.
In the long run, children's closeness to their parents will gradually weaken, and they will have a sense of distance from their parents. As a result, trust and communication between parents and children will also be affected, making the relationship tense and distant, which is not conducive to family harmony and warmth.
03
How to properly educate a boy: what is the best policy?
Be simple and clear in your speech
Boys are less able to think and learn than adults, and their language comprehension and expression skills are often poor. When educating their children, parents must pay attention to speaking concisely and to the point. If the child makes a mistake, parents should not be in a hurry to reason, but first clarify the facts with the child, so that the child can understand what he is wrong.
Talk to your child about your emotions and feelings
Boys tend to have poor empathy skills. Parents can tell their children how they feel emotionally and why they are angry after doing such a thing. Only by allowing children to enter the emotional situation of their parents can they truly realize their mistakes and have a sense of remorse.
Replace commands with hope
When your child realizes that he or she has done something wrong, parents should tell him how to correct it. Parents should be simple and clear so that their children know exactly what to do.
At the same time, it is best for parents to use the expression of "hope" when speaking, such as "Mom knows that you know that you are wrong now, how Mom wants you to correct it", rather than giving direct instructions, so as not to cause resistance from children.
A message from Guo's mother
Boys are more mischievous and mischievous, and often make mistakes that upset their parents. When faced with their children's mistakes, parents often feel that the more reasonable they are, the more angry they are, and they have to lose their temper to calm their children. In fact, boys' thinking is linear, their feelings will not be too fragile, and it can be simple and trouble-free to educate, the key is to see if they have mastered the method.
Interactive topic: Do you have any feelings when educating your son? Are there any educational tips? Welcome to leave a message below to share!
© Image source network|invasion and deletion
About author:Guo Ma, a family education instructor, focuses on sharing parenting knowledge, parent-child education experience, marriage and family insights, welcome to pay attention.