Yesterday evening, he received a call from the baby again, wanting to ask for leave to come back to rest and check again, he always felt that something was wrong with his broken foot.
As soon as I heard him say that he was going to take leave, I was a little big, thinking that this was almost a holiday, why did I want to come back? However, I didn't deny the child, I just asked him if he was still in pain lately? Are there any obstacles to walking?
He said that he walked normally, and the swelling had subsided, and it didn't hurt anymore, but there was still some pain when he pressed it, and the most important thing was that he always felt that his ankle was not the same as the other foot, so he was always worried that he couldn't recover and couldn't exercise vigorously.
Because the child has been taking leave from morning exercises and physical education classes, he has not participated in the big recess. In addition, he said that he had already broken once in the third year of junior high school, and the pain was worse than this time, and it was fine in a few days, but this time it felt less serious than the last time, but it has not fully recovered.
I thought to myself, how can this broken foot be so fast, don't they all say that it has been a hundred days to hurt the muscles and bones, but it has only been 10 days, and I can already walk normally, this is not purely psychological tension and worry.
But I didn't poke it, I didn't rush to give him an answer, I just told him: if you don't feel well, or if you're still worried, you can come back.
Changing my style of doing things and communicating in the past few years, I have long criticized him: How old are you, thinking about coming back to rest all day long, can you be okay when you go home? Checking it is nothing more than buying a little psychological comfort, and it's going to be a holiday soon, what are you doing with the time, and you won't be able to write your homework when you have that time?
Not to mention such a trivial thing as a broken foot, even if it is a headache and fever, as long as it is not a high fever, I will let him drink water and take medicine, and stick to it at school, for fear of delaying class.
I still remember the second semester of the ninth grade, he had a fever and illness for three days, and he told me at every turn that he wanted to go home.
At that time, I would rather run several times a day to give him Chinese medicine to drink, rather than let him rest at home, for fear of delaying important revisions and exams.
However, when I am so strict and controlling my children, everything is for the sake of the children's learning, and everything is aimed at not delaying the grades and the high school entrance examination.
But the child confronted me and said that even if you don't let me go home, I won't study at school.
Even so, I didn't agree with him taking a leave of absence. But usually I just sent him to school, and just after a class or two, he told the teacher that he was too fit to take a leave of absence to go home.
At that time, I was not aware of my problem at all, or that all my focus was on my child's learning, as long as I didn't get sick, I insisted on it, endured it, and focused on learning first.
Looking back, I looked back at my previous strict requirements for children, the concept of learning first, and also made the child's state and mentality poor, in my accusation and pickiness, the child also has super high requirements for himself, so there have been several times of nervousness and exam overturn.
However, since I experienced the darkest moment in the third year of junior high school, I have awakened and changed, and I will no longer regard my child's learning as the most important thing, but pay attention to my child's feelings and needs.
The world is big, and it is not as important as the child's emotional stability and peace of mind.
Whether it's reasonable or not, whether it should be or not, it doesn't matter, what I care more about is what the child thinks? What do you think? What was in his heart?
It is the change in my attitude towards my children and the way they deal with problems, that my children will basically tell me any problems, and they will be honest with me about their inner thoughts.
Because he knows that no matter how ridiculous or unreasonable his demands are, first, I will not deny and question him, second, I will not suppress and reject him, and third, I will not find fault with him and throw the blame at him.
Even if the child has some willful thoughts, even if the child has some vague worries, I will try my best to help him get rid of his heart disease and give him a reassurance.
Just like a child who was afraid that he would have a bad foot and that something would happen to his bones, I immediately asked my sister if it was normal for her to be in such a situation, and she also suggested that I could buy a little plaster and paste it to recover faster.
At the same time, I also asked the mother of my classmate who worked in the hospital, and after making it clear that this situation was normal, I temporarily decided to give the child medicine that night, and by the way, feed it to comfort her.
At the end of the evening self-study class, the child was very surprised to see me at school, and he was very happy to see the plaster I gave him.
Maybe the child's problem is not serious, but responding in time, dealing with it in time, and reassuring it in time can turn small things into good things. Children don't worry, don't get scared, don't think about always wanting to go home, can't stay more comfortable and relaxed at school.
The child just happily said to me, "Thank you, Mommy." I didn't expect you to come back at night.
Maybe I wasn't a good mother before, rude and arbitrary, and emotionally extreme.
But in the past few years, I have been awakening on the way to growth, constantly paying attention to my baby's emotions, reducing psychological pressure on the baby, helping the baby to unload psychological revenge, and steadily supporting the baby behind the back.
Therefore, my baby will become more and more gentle, more and more calm and calm, more energetic to study, and the self-motivated heart has never stopped, and everything can be discussed and discussed.
Thank you for my baby's sensible and aggressive! I am also grateful for my continued efforts and growth. Strive to be a good enough mother with 60 points, never forget your original intention, and forge ahead.