When a person is over forty, he needs to live "without confusion."
The root of the confusion lies in the fact that he is still naïve and simple, lacks experience, does not have enough perception of the world and people's hearts, and lacks a certain amount of experience in the rivers and lakes.
As a result, young people are easy to be deceived, tricked, and hit nails everywhere, and their situation is relatively embarrassing.
In this process of hitting nails, every simple young person will grow into a complex middle-aged person. And middle-aged people, compared with young people, are just the other extreme.
Young people tend to be enthusiastic, while middle-aged people tend to be cold and ice-like. Enthusiasm is because I haven't experienced it. Apathy, because I have experienced it and have been beaten. This is "forty is not confused".
After running for four, people who can't see through the truth of these three relationships will only be confused, and the more they live, the more tired they become.
1. The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment.
In the adult world, the most taboo thing is to have unrealistic expectations of certain people and things.
For example, if you are an employee, you hope that your boss can treat the employee better, work less overtime, and increase the salary. To your great disappointment, the boss went the other way and not only asked the employee to work overtime, but also lowered the employee's salary.
There is a high probability that everything that the average person expects, whether it is a relationship or anything, will not come true. The ideal is very plump, and the reality is very skinny.
Back to feelings, relationships, and so on. It doesn't necessarily mean that you will dig out your heart and lungs to your friends, but your friends will dig out their hearts and lungs with you. Possibly, the other party will take advantage of the situation and stab you twice in the back.
The so-called "I would have turned my heart to the bright moon, but the bright moon shines on the ditch" is this truth.
If you entrust your sincerity to others, others will basically not buy your account, but will only think that you are naïve and stupid. In this way, others will take the initiative to disappoint you and will not have any affection for you.
Get along with people and don't expect too much; People in the rivers and lakes should not have unrealistic illusions. All expectations and fantasies are nothing but self-deception. The truth is always naked.
2. Superficial feelings, actual interests.
Is human nature biased towards affection and righteousness, or biased towards mercenary?
There is no doubt that there is a bias towards mercenary. If there is no profit, people will try their best to reap the benefits. With benefits, people will go to great lengths to seek more benefits.
Take, for example, "sibling rivalry."
After his parents left, he left a legacy of hundreds of thousands. In order to compete for their parents' inheritance, children will "kiss their brothers and settle accounts". Even if the relationship was very good before, now in order to compete for the inheritance, he still turns his face and does not recognize people.
Imagine, between brothers and sisters, even a few thousand yuan have to be fought for, how can they face tens of millions of parents' inheritance? It will only become more fierce and more distorted of human nature.
In their opinion, feelings are such a thing, and they can't be eaten. And tens of millions of assets, this is what you can do without worrying about food and clothing. If it were you, you would definitely choose the asset.
It can be seen that the relationship between people, on the surface, is about feelings. Actually, it's about profit. In the face of interests, who cares about the so-called affection? I have long turned my face and denied people.
3. People are sophisticated, and they act on the spot.
The so-called "insight into the world is knowledge, and the practice of human feelings is the article." ”
How to experience the world and see through the way of the world is a science. How to understand the sophistication of human feelings, and even use the sophistication of human feelings, this needs to test our wisdom.
Whether we like it or not, human feelings are all around us. Going to work needs to talk about the sophistication of people, social needs to talk about the sophistication of the world, and even visiting relatives and friends during the New Year's holidays also need to talk about the sophistication of the people.
It is possible that if you say the wrong word, you will offend others; It is possible that if you do one thing wrong, you will violate the bottom line of others; Possibly, if you are a little more honest, others will take advantage of the opportunity to fool you.
Influenced by the sophistication of human feelings, every adult will choose to wear a mask and be a person. You and I are acting on the spot, and I am acting with you, and everyone is acting.
Life is like a play, and drama is like life. In this "hypocritical" drama, we must not go too deep into the drama. Those who are too deep in the play will be crushed by the wheels of the world and people's hearts.
People in the rivers and lakes, what to do, just follow the rules of the rivers and lakes. There should be a sophistication and cannot be lacking. And the attitude towards others does not have to be so real.
Write to the end
When it comes to this, many people will wonder, how can the world of children have real feelings, but the world of adults has no real feelings?
I think this is how life grinds a person. No matter how angular people are, they will be smoothed out by life. No matter how real a person is, he will become a city.
At the beginning, I had expectations for others, but I was hurt afterwards. Slowly, you will have less expectations of others. Without much expectation, there won't be much harm.
The more times you are beaten, you will understand that there is only a relationship of interest between people, and there is no purely emotional relationship. All feelings are a fig leaf for interests.
Life is like a play, and we are all actors in it. How to perform, sometimes, is not up to us. People are sophisticated, and the rules of the rivers and lakes are inevitable.
It's a relationship or something, there's no need to be too concerned. People who value love are often people who have a hard life.