01
Parents want their children to become dragons and phoenixes and be filial to their parents.
It is necessary to become a dragon and a phoenix, and to be filial to his parents, can these two conditions really be achieved at the same time? It's hard to do both. It's good that ordinary people can do one of these things.
Children who become Jackie Chan and become phoenixes may not be filial to their parents; Children who are filial to their parents may not be able to become dragons and phoenixes.
The parents are rural. Children stay in the countryside to accompany their parents, and they do achieve filial piety, but they cannot go to the big city to earn money, and they are still living in poverty. There is filial piety, but no ability.
On the contrary, children are far away from their parents and go to the big city to earn money, and they have no time to be with their parents all year round. has a bit of pursuit and ability, but he has not achieved filial piety.
This is the so-called "you can't have it both ways". How can there be such a perfect thing? You will find that children with a little ability will not be filial to their parents.
02
An old man's voice: The performance of the two children is embarrassing.
Lao Chen has two sons.
In terms of academic qualifications, the eldest son is a top student of 985 University, and after graduation, he went to work in the Pearl River Delta. The second son is not good at studying, so he came out to work after graduating from secondary school, and now he is working in his hometown.
In the matter of getting married, the eldest son with a high degree of education has been delaying getting married, and even has plans to not marry and have children. The second son, who graduated from secondary school, got married and had children in his twenties.
When it comes to going home to visit his parents, the eldest son only goes back to his hometown once a year, and after staying for less than a week, he returns to the big city; The second son's family of three lives with their parents (a three-story self-built house) and sees each other every day.
In terms of making money, the eldest son is a senior white-collar worker, with an annual income of two or three hundred thousand, and it is indeed nourishing to live alone; The second son works in the village, with an annual income of less than 80,000 yuan, and he also needs to support his wife and children, which is quite hard.
In terms of his attitude towards his parents, because the eldest son does not come home all the year round, his relationship with his parents is relatively weak; Since the second son lives with his parents, although he quarrels from time to time, the relationship is still good.
Two children are two different extremes. Different educational backgrounds, different abilities, and different choices will make the whole person's personality, life, and destiny different.
03
If you are a parent, which child do you think is more in line with your appetite?
There is no doubt that it is the second son. Although he has no education and does not make much money, he has at least achieved everything that his parents wanted.
Parents want their sons to get married and have children, and to carry on the lineage. The son with a high degree of education didn't do it, but the son who didn't read did it, and it went smoothly and had no other ideas.
Parents want their sons to be by their side. The highly educated son needs to go to the big city to work hard, and he can't do it, but the son who has never studied has done it, living with his parents, and letting his parents enjoy the joy of teasing their grandchildren.
Parents want their sons to be a little better with their parents. The highly educated son is far away from his parents and has no feelings, but the son who has not read is honest and tolerant and filial to his parents.
Parents want their son to earn money. Sons with higher education did it, while sons with lower education still had a hard time. At this point, it makes parents particularly embarrassed and lamented.
In terms of education and material, the former is naturally stronger than the latter. But in terms of filial piety, affection, companionship, and inheritance, the latter is stronger than the former. This is what we mentioned above, "you can't have both fish and bear's paws".
04
An abnormal educational phenomenon: the higher the child's education, the less filial he is to his parents.
The higher the child's education, the more he has his own set, the more he attaches importance to "self", and the more he is inclined to realize his own life pursuit, and is opposed to being bound by other things.
In the choice between hometown and big city, children with high education will abandon their hometown and run to the big city for the first time. In their opinion, if you study for many years and don't go to the big city to work hard, wouldn't it be in vain?
Among the choices of parents and money-making, children with high education will choose to make money in the first place and do not go home all year round in order to make money. In their opinion, earning money and keeping their jobs is the most important thing.
In the choice of being single and getting married and having children, children with high education are more inclined to be single and unmarried, and live for freedom and comfort. In their view, the inheritance of the family is a traditional feudal idea, and it is also a constraint on modern people, which is unacceptable.
......
The more parents demand their children, the more the children will not listen to their parents, and even go against their parents. Even if the parents shout every day to get married and have children, the children will not listen, and will only think that the parents' concept of feudal tradition is out of step with the times.
Children have education, ability, and thoughts, and they will definitely not pay attention to feelings. This is due to objective factors.
05
Write to the end
Speaking of this, some people will say, if the author is a parent, then do you like children with high education, or do you like children without education?
Just one answer, even if the child is far away from his parents and incompatible with his parents' concepts, I still like children with high education. After all, they have their own mind and set.
The filial piety that parents think is just a requirement based on their own concepts. If a child meets the requirements of his parents, he is filial; If a child does not meet the requirements of his parents, he is not filial.
This kind of subjective assumption will only lead to conflicts between parents and children.
The real filial piety of children is not necessarily to get married and have children, not necessarily to accompany their parents, and not necessarily to live with their parents every day, but that they can be self-reliant and live a better life than their parents' generation. So much for.
Text/Shushan has deer