There's a vexing choice: is it better to be gregarious or ungregarious?
The vast majority of people agree that it is better to be gregarious. Although it is said that being gregarious in some circles will make you uncomfortable, at least you don't have to be an outlier.
In order not to be different, many people choose to be gregarious.
Since there are people who don't want to be different, there must also be people who take the initiative to become different. For example, those who don't fit in and have to be mavericks.
The Lone Ranger, who made up only a small part of the crowd. After all, in the world of black crows, the very existence of the white swan is the greatest sin. Who wants to be targeted as an outlier?
A person who is neither gregarious nor maverick shows that he has these kinds of psychology.
1. Insist on assertiveness and do not want to follow the crowd.
The hardest thing for a person to do is to insist on being yourself.
In the process of asserting yourself, some people will criticize you, some people will gossip about you, and some people will accuse you of all kinds. At this point, your notions will be shaken.
When your concept is shaken, in order not to become an outlier, you will follow the crowd and go gregarious. Even if you hate this circle, you will join it.
Why is it so difficult to hold on to the concept of self? Because man's words are terrible.
Especially young people who have little experience, they are especially afraid of being afraid of what people say, and they will not be able to stand it when they hear someone say a few words. Isn't this a typical inner fragility?
Middle-aged people who are truly mature and have gone through half a life are basically not afraid of people's words. In their opinion, what others like to say is someone else's business, and it has nothing to do with them.
Only if you don't care about what people say is terrible, will you insist on your own opinions and don't want to follow the crowd.
2. Enjoy being alone and hate acting on the spot.
Do you think it's comfortable to be alone, or is it comfortable to be in a group?
From an objective point of view, it must be a comfortable day to be alone. You are free and easy to be alone, and you don't have to act on the spot, let alone wear a mask.
In the workplace, playing with colleagues around me is either laughing or telling a bunch of lies. Sometimes, there are too many days like this, and people become numb.
Creatures like human beings, although they tend to be hypocritical, still like to live their lives in a real way. After all, to be real, there is no disguise, and there is no internal friction, which is in line with the human nature that is born simple.
A man is alone. Go wherever you like, without looking at other people's faces; Eat whatever you like, and don't have to take care of other people's moods.
Even if you sit alone by the river to fish, a fishing is a whole day, no one will disturb you, full of clear water and blue sky, leisurely and quiet.
Life is not only about what is in front of you, but also about poetry and distance. Enjoy being alone, closer to poetry and distance.
3. Deliberately avoiding right and wrong, and not wanting to cause trouble.
The so-called "there are many people right and wrong, and there are many people and many contradictions." ”
Where there are people, there is right and wrong, and where there is right and wrong, there are rivers and lakes. Perhaps people themselves are rivers and lakes.
As small as a team, as large as a circle, as long as there are people, all kinds of rights and wrongs will emerge. Either there was any conflict yesterday, or there was some love and hatred today, which is particularly troublesome.
This kind of trouble-ridden day is inherently low-quality.
Who wants to be besieged by garbage, who wants to be disturbed by others, who wants to be caught in the whirlpool of love and hatred? No one wants.
The so-called "If there is nothing to worry about, it is a good time in the world." ”
The real happiness and happiness in the world have nothing to do with the weather and season, but only with the leisure of the heart. The heart is leisurely, there is no right and wrong, no emotion, even if it rains today, you will feel that the rain is romantic.
Fourth, being bullied, calculating, and defensive.
The famous writer Mo Yan once said that what can convince a person is never the truth, but the south wall; What can wake up a person is never preaching, but suffering.
No big truth can convince a person. The only thing that can convince this person is always the south wall and the tribulation.
If you suffer a lot, you will wake up; was beaten by life, and realized the cruelty of the world and people's hearts; Once you have seen the darkness, you will know what light is.
If you have not been bullied, you will think that people's hearts are kind. They have unrealistic expectations for the world and people's hearts.
If you have been bullied, you will feel that the world is hot and cold, people's hearts are not ancient, and people's hearts are complex and treacherous. The expectations of the world and the hearts of the people in the past will disappear.
Time will eventually change our thoughts and attitudes, and it will eventually give us the most authentic answers.
It's actually quite good to insist on being assertive, not blindly being gregarious, being a loner, and enjoying a person's indifferent, free, and quiet time.
Text/Shushan has deer